Monday, October 15, 2012

Undateable Men and Why They're Delightful

I spent my Friday evening with a group of men.

I didn't want to date any of them.

I had a great time.

Cheers to that!  It's nice to remember that I can just hang out with people for fun without any pressure or romantic or physical interest.  It's good to flirt and not have it matter.  I stayed out later than expected, I drank more than I planned to, but I laughed a lot and it was worth the sleepy Saturday morning.  :-)

I suppose I'm "doing me", in the vernacular of the wise trainwrecks of the Jersey Shore.  I'm mixing things up, hanging out with friends, making new friends, and saying yes when previously I may have said no to invites.  It's good to rock the boat sometimes, and it's good to be in a new social setting and do okay in it.

In spite of the good times had Friday night, I did have a bummer moment this weekend.  Fall is my favorite season.  I love haunted houses, carving pumpkins, decorating, and watching scary movies.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I cannot find anyone to go to haunted houses with.  No one.  They are all afraid/not interested/too busy.  This happens every year, and it was only by some miracle that I went to a haunted forest last year (with my ex-H, no less, and a group of people he knew.  Blah.).  I am disappointed every year when this happens.

Beyond that, the decorating?  The pumpkin carving and seed roasting?  I will be doing those things, but I'll be doing those alone.  I must just know all the wrong people in this area.  I love doing these things, and I would love to go do a corn maze or something, but no one likes what I like.  I carved pumpkins (with the ex-H again, ha!) last year.  This year, it will be a solo mission.

I really hope that someday, eventually, I will find someone who wants to carve pumpkins and watch scary movies with me.  Endeavor to make a Thanksgiving feast and watch football with me all day.  Pick out a Christmas tree and choose an annual ornament with me, then bake Christmas cookies.  Maybe dye Easter eggs with me.  Go watch fireworks with me. 

Some people want expensive trips and travel, jewelry and fine gifts.  Fancy meals, luxurious homes, over the top gestures.  I just want someone who laughs at the disgusting joy of digging your hand into the innards of a pumpkin to clean it out before carving it up. 

I will not forsake these favorite pastimes simply because I continue to fly solo, and I will not bend over backwards to get others to join in on activities that I love.  I will sit in my living room while my cats "help" me with the pumpkins, I will watch scary movies on my TV decked out in orange twinkle lights for the holiday, and I will burn autumnal candles and eat the roasted seeds myself.

In the meantime, I will keep saying yes to things more often than no, and I will spend time with the people I enjoy spending time with, and I will continue to enjoy my solo time as well.  Balance, baby.  Balance.


  1. ohhh you would LOVE my friend. She is always trying to get me to go to these haunted houses with her and I would until the year someone grabbed my ankles while I was walking through one. Never again. That shit freaked me OUT. I love hayrides and pumpkin carving, though!

  2. OMG I would do all of those things with you.

    I love that stuff. But I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been solo for about 3 years now and I've had to force myself to do things by myself just because if I don't, I'll miss out on them entirely.

    1. See, all the cool people who like to do cool things are NOT HERE, LOL.

      Lots of things I will just do on my own for the sake of not missing out, but some things seem to require other people, and those things I'm just out of luck on at this point, I think. Someday I will find someone to go to haunted things with me! Forget a life partner, I just need a Halloween partner. ;)

    2. I know, I need a scary movie partner because all of my girlfriends are wimps.

  3. I would carve pumpkins with you, but I'm not into scary movies or haunted houses. We could watch Hocus Pocus though.

    I'll be spending my thanksgiving solo this year as well. I'm sure my cousin will invite me over, but I'd really rather hang at home, Harry Potter marathon it up, slow cook a turkey breast, and make a couple low carb sides... then eat an entire pumpkin pie while crying. HAHAHA just kidding, I never cry when I eat pie! Only afterwards.

    1. LOL, Hocus Pocus. Hey, it's a Halloween movie! ;)

      I imagine I will get a few random T-giving invites, but I kind of think that this year I may do something like you mentioned: plan for a solo Thanksgiving and revel in it. Turkey breast, the sides *I* enjoy and none that I don't, and a day of indulgent football watching and maybe a movie or two.

      It always sounds good in theory, and then the day of arrives (like when I decided to skip out on all NY's Eve plans last year to mellow at home), and I wonder WTF I was thinking and feel sad!