LED Candles are nice, but do I want to date one?

Three Random Things
* I wore a dress yesterday I've worn many times before, but it fits better now.  I felt like a kickass superstar all day long, and it was lovely.  Sharp, professional and best of all, my legs are looking awesome these days!

* I had a dream about the Angry Ex again.  Of course I did.  In this installment, he got into a fight, but miraculously did not throw the first punch.  Got a fist to the eye and only then did he retaliate in a vicious manner.  Cheers!  On the upside, this dream hardly even troubled me.  Felt familiar, and really just kind of par for the course.  I almost never remember my dreams, so I sure wish that when I did it was something a little less, oh, I don't know, ANGRY EX RELATED, but oh well.

* Lost another inch off my waist according to my measurements with trainer last night.  Thigh and bicep stayed the same, but a) I'm not hugely worried about bicep because my arms are getting so toned and developing little muscles even and b) thigh measurements will come down eventually.  I'm confident about that, and in the meantime, I can feel muscle in my thighs I definitely never had before, and that makes me happy!

MOVING ON....so, the meetup guy?  Yeah, he's definitely interested.  In addition to asking me about going to see the scary movie on Friday, he mentioned (and linked me to, LOL) a meetup Saturday night for a haunted event the group is doing and offered to drive if I go.  He also mentioned a showing of the original "Halloween" next Tuesday night and asked if I was interested. 

After some internal debating, I went ahead and agreed to the movie on Friday night.  I passed on the Halloween Tuesday viewing, as I have my trainer that night, and told him I'd let him know about Saturday night.  I don't think I will be going, though, as the haunted event doesn't look particularly interesting to me, plus its really pricy.  If it looked better, I'd consider it, but it doesn't look scary.  :-/ 

So apparently I have a date Friday night?  He wants to get dinner beforehand, and asked if he could call me tonight to plan it.  He'd already offered his number via email, but I haven't given mine yet.  :-/  I'm so weird anymore...I hate being put in the position of being on the phone with someone I don't know very well.  It always feels so awkward in advance.  Why can't we just choose somewhere to eat over email?  HA, I'm so broken.

I'm trying to keep an open mind about this.  He's obviously a very nice guy, we have at least one thing in common (scary movies).  He's being pretty direct about liking me and wanting to hang out, which should be refreshing.  Here's the thing, though:  when I think about going out with him on a date, I feel like I'm going on a date with a puppy.  He's cute (in a puppy way), sweet (in a puppy way), dorky and a little nervous and awkward.  He seems so damn innocent.  So completely and utterly without an edge.

Call me evil.  Call me cliche.  Call it what you want, but I don't know that it's possible for me to be attracted to someone so straight and narrow and...nice.  Oy.  I heard myself "say" that and shook my head at myself.  But it's true!

I like sarcasm.  I like a couple of sharp edges, unexpected points.  I like someone who feels like a little bit of trouble when appropriate.  I can't imagine this guy ever looking at me and making me feel the currents of electricity and excitement I've had with others.  He's more like...an LED candle.  Reassuring, nice, warm glow, but no sparks.  No fire.  Just safe,  predictable, contained.

Sigh.  Even when I remove myself from the online dating circuit, when I try to do what all the anti online daters told me to do (Date people from the real world!  It will work better!  Online dating is weird!), I still end up in the same quandaries.  My brain is still programmed in the same dysfunctional way. 

I know I shouldn't date any more firecrackers.  Too precarious.  Too unpredictable.  Too dangerous.  Maybe I need a sparkler:  someone shiny and bright enough to engage my interest with enough of an electric current to give me butterflies and shivers, but not enough to burn me.  When will I find my sparkler?

I guess in the meantime, I'm going to give the LED candle a chance.  ;-)