Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dressing to Impress

So I'm going to see BF's daughter again tomorrow night for the opening of her junior high musical.  I've seriously spent time today thinking about what to wear for the occasion.  I have these random visions of her friends seeing BF and asking her, "Who's that lady with your dad?"  :-)  I have no idea if this is going to happen, but I'm going as the date of the parent contingency for that evening, as her Mom is going the following day.

I'm also going to get up early to blow out my hair.  I've been doing it a lot lately, though I generally do it the night before.  Problem with that is that I then sleep on it and it does dumb things like flip up at the back and refuse to flip under with my flatiron.  ;-)  So I'm hoping that if I get up an extra twenty minutes early I can avoid that conundrum.  The straight hair is just easier to contain, anyway!

This week is going all right.  Had trainer last night and did some laundry.  Tonight I'm doing dinner with a couple of girlfriends and then trying to get to the gym afterwards.  Sunday night I'm doing an Oscars watch evening with my friend, A.  I do love watching those silly awards shows, mostly for the fashion, but I do love that Ellen DeGeneres is hosting. The rest of the weekend in between is up in the air!  May spend more time with BF since he will have his daughter all next weekend.

I can't believe that this weekend March is here.  Sunday would have been my 12 year wedding anniversary, which is craziness.  In most ways I feel really disconnected from the idea of having been married at all, much less to my Ex-H.  We are good friends now, but it's just so weird to think about us having been in that romantic relationship for so many years.  He was my first love, which in retrospect just makes me realize how young I was when we got together.  Life sure does unwind in unexpected ways!

I do know that I am so much happier with the person I've become in the years since we split up.  Each year has been progress of some sort, and while some years were harder than others, I cannot say enough about how much I've grown, especially in the last three years since my last relationship.  I'm not perfect, but I feel like I'm so much healthier mentally and emotionally, and I'm really confident in how I've steered my life.  :-)

Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

content is the new normal

It's weird to just keep being happy with basically all aspects of my life.  I'm doing fun things with my friends like comedy shows, lunches, happy hours.  I'm spending time continuing to get to know my boyfriend, and doing things like cooking comfort food dinners together for this never ending winter.  Case in point?  Tonight BF is coming over and we are making grilled cheese sandwiches (with proscuitto!) and having roasted red pepper tomato soup.

It snowed this morning, and while I'm so ready for spring, I have to admit the snow was gorgeous.  It was like being in a snow globe with huge, fat flakes twirling down from the sky for a couple of hours.  We're supposed to get more snow tomorrow, too.  I guess as long as it doesn't create too much of a hassle on the roads I won't complain too much?

I saw all of these different friends over the weekend and they were all congratulating me on my new relationship, my new man, all of that.  It's kind of funny, but I guess they all just know how long I've been single and frustrated by the options out there, so people are glad to have something go the right way in that area for me.

This weekend I spent Saturday night and a good portion of Sunday at BF's house.  Saturday night he grilled burgers for us, and Sunday he made chili.  He's a NASCAR fan, which I have historically made fun of and not understood.  But because it's an interest of his, I agreed to humor him and watch the Daytona 500 with him.  There were huge rain delays, but before that happened he was so cute explaining things to me, telling me about his favorite driver, etc.  I know I must like him because I found it all really endearing and also found myself watching the end of the race much later that night at home!

BF also met one of my GFs, A on Thursday night.  I think it went really well, and she really seemed to like him.  It was good to have a someone whose opinion matters to me meet him, and really nice when she saw what I saw in him.  :-)  I like gradually bringing him more and more into my world.

There's not a ton of newness going on besides this relationship, which hit the seven week mark since our first date on Monday.  :-)  I continue to wait for spring to come, and for the time for baseball games, miniature golf, and spending time outside!  Winter has to go away eventually....RIGHT?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

life is good

Life really is good these days!  Sure, we're in the midst of the neverending winter.  Sure, spring seems an eternity away.  But we are having a nice little break this week, and we may hit 60 on Friday!  I can't wait, and already the mornings feel bearable and warmer.  I am not excited for below average temps and possible snow next week, but the end can't be too much further away!

Work is going well this week.  I took Monday off to get a bunch of things done.  I got some maintenance done on my Honda, saw my trainer, took a cat to the vet for a checkup, and ran a few other errands in between.  It felt good to check so many things off my list!  I also made a nice roast with some vegetables in the crockpot, and BF and I had that for dinner, as he joined me late in the afternoon.  We watched The Walking Dead and just enjoyed hanging out.

I met his daughter on Saturday.  It went even better than I could have hoped.  :-)  She's thirteen, and so I didn't know what to expect.  We met for lunch at a place of her choosing (Mexican) and while it was a bit awkward at first, it improved.  We all ran a couple of random errands together after (Target, I kid you not), and I bought us all Starbucks before we left Target.  She then invited me back to BF's house to watch "The Wiz" with them, as that's the school musical she's in.  We watched the movie and then I stayed for dinner upon invite.  I left after that because I didn't want to push it, but BF informed me that she'd been looking for tickets for me for "The Wiz" on the way from Target to their house, so I am going with BF to opening night of her musical on the 28th.  :-)  I guess we'd call that a success?  She dressed up for lunch (more than her usual weekend attire with Dad) and was frigging adorable.  They have a really cute relationship and it was nice to see him in that light, since before it was just an abstract idea.

Things continue to go so well.  This weekend he told me that I am the best thing to happen to him in a long, long time.  It was really nice to hear, and nice to feel back!  This is all just so vastly different than anything I've encountered in years, and I'm grateful for it everyday.  He is so good at telling me the same thing, how he is lucky to have found me, and when he misses me, and giving sincere compliments when he feels them. This whole thing just feels good and true and like he's fitting into my life like he belongs there.

Anyway, I also have a fun week planned for the rest of the days.  Tonight is just the trainer, but I plan to watch the women's figure skating afterwards because I am still a sucker for that.  :-)  Thursday BF is coming over and we're going out to dinner with my gf, A, and she will be the first friend to meet him.  I'm excited for them to meet, as it somehow makes everything more real.  Friday I have an appt. to get my highlights done and a haircut, so I always feel awesome after that!  That night is a comedy show with a group of friends, and probably going out for drinks after.  Saturday I'm doing lunch with my old neighbor friend, and then heading over to BF's that evening.  Hopefully it will be nice enough for us to grill!  I will stay out that way until Sunday, too.

So many fun things to look forward to in the coming weeks!  Plus, I cannot wait for spring to start peeking around the corner....

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Valentine's Day throwback

So my employer is doing this CandyGram fundraiser for Valentine's Day this week.  You buy these CandyGrams for colleagues and they get delivered on Friday, Valentine's Day.  Usually the fundraisers are not quite this creative, and not quite this fun!  I decided to participate because I love the idea of it, and I want to brighten the days of ten of my favorite people at work.

Once I bought them, I got to sit down and decide who to send them to.  It was fun and I'm looking forward to their delivery on Friday!  It's a nice addition to a day that I'm not historically a fan of, even when I've been in a relationship.  When I was married, my favorite V-Day was spent driving to a town an hour and change from where we lived to go to a fast food restaurant I loved and didn't get to eat very often.  :-D  I'm easy to please!

Beyond that, I  have no actual Valentine's Day plans.  BF has his daughter this weekend, and I'll see him on Saturday evening for our meet the child dinner.  I believe we'll spend sunday night together, either out his way or out mine, as yet to be determined.  BF seems more concerned than I am about not getting to celebrate V-Day on V-Day.  Personally, I'm happy just knowing I have a person in the world who is thinking about me any day!

I am a bit conflicted about how to handle this strange little holiday.  For one, I think it's kind of silly to start with.  Two, it's really early in things, and I don't know how to proceed.  I impulsively picked up a cute, non-nauseating, non-over the top V-Day card last night, but that's all I've got at this point.  Thoughts?

I have no idea if he's doing anything or not.  He's not going to be in any sort of trouble with me if he doesn't!  :-)  I'm usually really good at thoughtful, personal gifts, but's kind of early to know him well enough for that, and also, those gifts feel pretty intimate emotionally, and I don't want to get ahead of myself.

Kind of glad that after this, there's nothing until my birthday in June.  :-)  His birthday is July 11, so if we're still in this at that point, he gets to go first in the birthday test, ha!

I'm not going to stress over this, though.  If I think of something cute and fitting, I'll do it, if I don't, I'll stick with the card.  I've gone with what feels right so far and it's served me well!

all good in the hood

Things are good.  :-)

Being in a relationship again is so interesting.  It's been just shy of three years since I've been in one, and this one feels positive.  Healthy.  Refreshing.  I marvel over how seamlessly he's fitting into my life.  How his presence makes me happy, and how his absence makes me miss him, but not need him.  I like that things feel balanced and honest.  

I've never met anyone so direct as he is.  It is breathtakingly different than what I'm used to.  Late last week he messaged me and told me he has a friend he used to date seven years ago, and that they get together about once a month for dinner.  He said they were due for another catch up dinner, but he wanted to tell me about it so it didn't seem like something it wasn't.

I told him I had no problem with it, and reminded him that I'm also friends with my ex (husband) and that we also get together on occasion.  "If you're okay with mine, I'm okay with yours."

He told me, "As long as I don't have any reason to worry, I'm fine with it, and you've given me no reason to worry."  And so there that was.  This conversation I'd been worried about having just happened, and it was without any fanfare or drama or illogical jealousy.  I appreciate that he just directly told me about it so that I didn't find out about it after the fact,  or that it didn't seem hidden or weird.  That's what I'm used to. Also? At the end of that conversation he told me, "I'm fully committed to a long term relationship with you, so I want to make sure we do these things right," or something similar.  Better yet?  It didn't scare me to hear.  :-)

Our dynamic makes me want to bring the best version of myself to the table.  That's a good sign!  I am grateful every day for meeting someone that so far has been so fantastic, and who I feel fantastic with.  He makes me laugh every day, he makes me feel appreciated and wanted and valued for my brain, my humor and my cuteness.  ;-)  

None of my friends have met him yet, but they all love him already, based exclusively on what they've heard, and how happy I seem.  "You're giddy when you talk about him," one friend told me over the phone.  I guess I am!

Last night he video chatted with his family and told them about having a girlfriend.  Last week he went out to a hockey game and dinner with his guy friends and told them about having a girlfriend.  I've actually managed to refer to him as "the boyfriend" a couple of times when talking about him!  This is progress for me.

I'm meeting his 13 year old daughter on Saturday, weather permitting.  She's known about me for a bit already, and we're just doing dinner at a Mexican place of her choosing.  I know it may seem early to some, but she's older, her parents haven't really been together in her lifetime, and she seems fine with it.  I think I'm more worried about it than anyone else, and that's only because I've never been in this situation before.  I think it should be fine, though.  Crossing fingers!

I spent so long worrying about how I'd acclimate to being in a relationship again.  Worrying about how to fit someone into my life after so long on my own.  Wondering if I could maintain a healthy balance, or if I'd fall back into old patterns.  

It's early.  I'm not kidding myself here, this is all still very new.  But so far it's going really well, and I feel like this is just the beginning.  I have a really good feeling about Bluefish, and about us together, and I'm excited to see where things go.  Each day is a tiny new adventure with him, each day I get to know him better and vice versa, and so far that's only making me like him more.  :-)

Wednesday, February 5, 2014


Bluefish is my boyfriend.

Life is so weird.

Friday night BF came to my place.  We played XBox Kinect (Fruit Ninja!), we went out to dinner, we had a good time just spending time together.  In the morning we lounged about for awhile watching HGTV and then went to lunch.  He was there until 3:30 when I finally had to start getting ready to go out with some friends for a birthday.

That night I got all prettied up and went into DC for said birthday dinner.  I had a great time, good food, good company, good drinks.

Sunday I went to the gym, relaxed for awhile, and then Bluefish came over to watch the Super Bowl with me.  We ordered pizza and watched the world's most boring Super Bowl.  He stayed the night, and in the morning before he left he kissed me goodbye and wished me a happy one month anniversary.  :-)  When he got to work, he found the card I'd left in his jacket pocket.

Monday night I had trainer.  We were talking via text before my session, and he'd said something sweet to me.  I joked that this was such a new dynamic for me because those sweet things he said didn't scare me or turn me off, and that I was saying those things, too, and meaning them.  I relayed how I'd told my girlfriend, A that if I became one of those women who talked about their person too much she had free license to hit me.  He laughed and said, "Your person?"  I told him that was the terminology I was going with because I don't know how this works anymore.  He teased me about it, so I responded, "ARE YOU MY BOYFRIEND, BLUEFISH?"  He agreed that he was, and so VOILA.  Bluemoon has a boyfriend.

Last night he went to a hockey game and dinner with some friends.  He texted me and said he'd just had to admit to having a girlfriend.  All the guys in this group are married, and I guess they are always inquiring about his personal life.  He said he was happy to brag about his situation to all of his buddies.  :-)

So there's that.  He said his daughter had already been referring to me as his girlfriend, and I admitted that all of my friends were calling him my boyfriend.  Apparently everyone was ahead of us on this one.

It's been almost three years (February 2011) since I broke up with Angry Ex and subsequently started this blog.  I guess time flies when you're busy dating a quarter of the single population of the DC metro area, learning to be awesome on your own, and figuring out what you want.  :-)