Thursday, June 27, 2013

Post-Vacation Crazies

So my Florida vacation was wonderful.  I got to spend a lot of time in the sun and on the beach and in the ocean.  I got a nice little flush of color, some peace of mind and had a lot of fun with the girlfriend who joined me!  It was a much needed escape, and I loved spending the bulk of my birthday afternoon on the beach on Monday!

Back to reality late Tuesday afternoon, and I had a session with my trainer at 7pm because I'm a crazy person.  I then ran a couple of errands, including the very efficient spending of a birthday giftcard!  Yesterday at work was busy, but not overwhelmingly so, but today made up for it.  Kind of glad I took a lazy night last night, which included a nap, because today was insane. 

Tonight I'm going to go to the gym and MAYBE get a couple of errands run as well.  Tomorrow night is swimming with a friend at her condo (weather permitting) and Saturday is my second chiro appt. and a BBQ with some friends.  Sunday I'm going to see World War Z and I also have a training session in the morning.  Busy, busy!

I need to do laundry.  I need to clean my apartment.  I need to run errands.  I need to paint my nails (Yes, I did say need!).  I don't know when I will find the time for all of these things, but it will have to happen! 

In other news, still talking to T every day.  He finally found a place to move to, and will be moving this weekend.  I'm hoping this means he will be less distracted and stressy.  I honestly have no idea what's really going on because the pace of it all is so weird.  I saw him the Thursday night before I left for Florida, and we went miniature golfing and sat and talked for awhile after.  It was fun and an activity I enjoy.  He hasn't been on POF since June 13, and sometimes when we're texting it seems like he thinks something with us is a foregone conclusion, but then it's so spotty and sporadic sometimes that I don't know.  We have no new plans on tap, which is mostly fine right now since I know he has to move and my weekend is already overflowing with plans. 

In the meantime, since I'm feeling sort of ??? about where this is going, and since it's going so slowly, I'm still keeping the door open for others.  I've been talking to someone else for a week or two, and we may meet up for a drink or something in the next week. At this point I don't feel like I'm beholden to anyone, and things are so ambiguous with T at this point that I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong.

Beyond that, I'm just really grateful that tomorrow is Friday, and that I get another weekend, whereupon I will find SOME time to get some things done and to just relax!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Bikini Apocalypse

Well, it's official, the end of days is near.  How do I know???

Last night I bought a bikini.

And the skies thundered and dark clouds scurried across the horizon, and the earth rattled beneath me.  Or something like that.  ;-)

I'm pretty sure I've not worn a bikini since I was maybe 12-13 years old.  That's a long time ago, as in 20+ years.  OMG. 

I found myself in Victoria's Secret tucked into a dressing room trying on a handful of combinations, trying to ascertain which sizing combination was best suited for me, and which color I liked the most.  I eventually settled on a suit, and whisked myself home to try it on in the comfort of my own lighting and bedroom. 

I actually like it.  It's a bright coral-esque pink with a bandeau style top with a halter strap, and a ruched bottom. 

I'm not going to lie, though.  The idea of wearing this super cute suit in public scares me!  Bikinis are basically the equivalent of walking around in public in your bra and underwear, which is pretty bizarre when you think of it.  Why are bikinis okay, but underwear and bra are not?  Pretty arbitrary! 

Regardless, this suit is coming with me on vacation, along with a backup tankini in case I chicken out.  But I don't plan to.  I plan to wear it, and to fake confidence in it even if I don't feel it.  I'm going to be 35 years old in a few days, and while I'm not perfect, I look all right, and on a daily basis I feel pretty good, and that should be enough.  :-)

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

making up is hard to do

So I've put off my plan to break up with my trainer for now.  We talked during my session last night and I'm hopeful he'll shape up!  He's also giving me some bonus flexibility with regards to purchasing my next package of sessions since I have so many expenses going on this summer, so that's a perk.  We shall see.  I do know that I am currently incapable of making myself as sore as he can make me in an hour session!  My quads are killing me already, and the day is young!  I decided to make a sprint towards my vacation by following up my session with him with an hour at the gym, with a smoothie in between.  ;-)

Nothing much going on.  I've been busy all morning, but not on anything exciting.  I am going to do some training this afternoon for someone who will be helping me out with a project at work, so that assistance will be awesome once we get things situated.  In the meantime, all I can think about is wrapping up the work day, pit stopping by the mall for one more swimsuit hunt, and then getting home for the gym and laundry. 

Will probably try to figure out my plan for tomorrow with T later today as well, as I'd like to have some idea of what I'm doing.  He's still hunting for a new place to live, which is stressing him out a tiny bit, so I'm sure it will be a relief when he finally finds a good spot.  I still really want to see Man of Steel, but remain unsure if date #4 is too early to go to a movie, as it's still early.  We'll see!

This week is really dragging along!  I keep waking up each day thinking it's a day later than it actually is.  Boo!

Three more days, though.  :-)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

you get old and you get weird

So I made an appointment today and I'm pretty excited about it.  I also know that the fact that I'm excited about said appointment means that I am actually old as my birth certificate says I am, and not as young as I often feel.

On Saturday morning, a couple hours before I fly off to Florida for the weekend, I am going to see a Chiropractor.  Three cheers for an old, tangled body!  :-D

In all seriousness, I am looking forward to it.  I've only been to a chiro once prior, and I'd tweaked my back in a bad way doing something super precarious and dangerous....turning around in the seat of my car to reach for something in the back.  Ooh, baby.  Anyway, I had my appointment and they worked on me very briefly and it was legit fixed instantly.  I was impressed!

Now I get the (very) occasional massage, and I go to acupuncture once a month, so I'm all about these things.  But only recently have I decided another chiro visit may be in order, and only today did I seize the moment (and the insurance coverage!) to make an appt.  I've been sleeping all out of whack lately, waking up feeling tangled and sore.  I definitely feel like a good chiro appointment will do me some good! 

What else?  Got my 4th date scheduled with T, we're getting together Thursday night.  No plan yet, but I'm sure we'll come up with something.  :-)

Tonight's agenda:  long awaited training session, and maybe the gym after if I'm feeling super motivated.  Beyond that, probably some laundry, as it needs to get done one of these days before Saturday, and now Thursday and Friday are out! 

Lots of little things to take care of this week, but I think I've got it under control.  Good thing I like to make lists. 

Time to wrap up and head out from work here shortly.  It's been a productive day, and tomorrow should be productive as well.  I like getting all of my ducks in a row before I go out of town, so this is good!

Happy tuesday!

Monday, June 17, 2013

third date

Date #3 was a surprise date.  I was simply told where to meet and to wear comfortable shoes for walking.  When we met at the designated location (a parking lot on a university campus), we then got into T's car and headed onto our destination.  We ended up in a cute, quaint little area called Historic Occoquan.  It's a little riverfront town with lots of little shops and some cute little restaurants.  :-)

We walked around, along the tiny little boardwalk and around the main street and it's shops.  We ate at a little cafe, sitting in a small outdoor courtyard.  We fed the ducks courtesy of a stranger who offered us one of the old bagels he was using to feed the greedy little creatures. ;-)  We then walked across a really cool little footbridge over the river, shown below.  He held my hand, and back where the little tiny falls are, he kissed me.  It was kind of picturesque and adorable and all those good things.

Once we exhausted our Occoquan time, we went to his townhouse and hung out for maybe an hour longer.  We just chatted and got to know more about each other, and it was easy and nice. 

I suspect I will see him again, though we have no definite plans yet.  Now all I have to do?  Avoid talking myself out of a thing with potential!

five days!

Just five days until I leave for my birthday trip to Florida.  :-)  I'm super excited to get away for a few days to the land of sun and sand and ocean and hanging out with a good friend I get to see far too infrequently.  My mind is all aflutter with ideas of the clothes I want to bring, if I'll find a new swimsuit in time, and how much sunscreen I'll go through. 

I know this week is going to be a challenge to focus on work related things, but I'm going to do my best.  Nothing on my schedule yet until Friday for my birthday happy hour.  I'm imagining I'll have as session with my trainer, but who knows at this point. 

He has cancelled on my last two sessions at the last minute for lame reasons.  He won't let a friend give her remaining sessions to me because of some red tape bullshit reason of his own creation.  He has spent months moving my sessions around, shifting me at his will, and taking advantage of the fact that I consider him a friend as well as a trainer.  Overall, I just don't feel like he is running his business in a professional manner anymore, and I'm tired of it.  He's taken on so many new clients and it makes it harder to schedule with him, and the quality of the business side of things has gone way downhill. 

I think I'm going to stop seeing him after my last six sessions run out.  It's just not worth the hassle or frustration anymore.  I'm going to try to pay really close attention to the content of our sessions, the machines I use, the amount of reps and weight I'm using, everything.  I want to take note of as much as I can so I can work to implement it on my own at the gym.  He's given me a good foundation, so now it's just time to do it on my own.  I would have continued with him if he knew how to behave like a professional, but he just doesn't.  He's amazing at personal training, so it's a shame, but I've had enough. 

Still on the hunt for a bikini to take to Florida.  Not sure if I'll have the nerve to wear it, but I guess that largely depends on if I can find one I like.  So far I've had zero luck finding any in person that fit my chest.  Apparently store swimsuits are designed soley for smaller sizes, and my cup overfloweth in those suits!  Going to hit Pentagon City one night this week after work to do some more searching.  I don't want to spend a ton on a suit, so we'll see.  I have two tankinis at home to fall back on if nothing comes up.

My weekend was fantastic.  :-)  Friday night I met J, my new friend from that meetup group, for dinner in Dupont Circle and brought A, a friend from work.  They got along famously and it was a fun meal!  After that J and I made a mini excursion to the recently opened Nordstrom Rack in DC, and then I parted ways with her.  I met up with some other friends for a drink and then we went to the DC Improv to see Frank Caliendo's comedy show.  It was an awesome show, and we got a pic with him afterwards.  Love that place!  Got home about 1 am and crashed shortly thereafter.

Saturday I met a friend for a movie at a new theater that serves you food at your seat during the film.  We ate like little kids on the lam with their mother's wallet:  bottomless popcorn, shakes and cookies.  It was an awesome indulgence and we saw "This is the End", which was pretty hilarious.  I still need to see Man of Steel...maybe this week?

After our movie I headed home and did some laundry in advance of my date.  Yup, that was the night of the third date. I will be blogging separately about that event, mainly so this one doesn't get any more overly long! 

Sunday trainer cancelled on me, so I ran some errands and ended up at the gym later on.  Took a 2+ hour nap, which resulted in me being wide awake until about 3am.  Sigh.  I'm a tired Bluemoon today!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

all of the things we can talk about

I feel like I have so many things to catch up on, and I don't know where to begin!  Oh, all of the things we can talk about. 

Cincinnati trip was good.  Got to hang out with my friend, go to a Reds baseball game (and sit in amazing Diamond seats= handful of rows behind homeplate), go on a Duck boat tour, eat some great meals, and get an awesome behind the scenes visit to the zoo.  Got my picture taken with an eagle, petted a penguin and a porcupine, saw cheetahs and ocelots and other such cat like creatures up close and personal again.  We also had spectacular weather!

I was glad to get back because I'm ultimately a homebody, and I miss my own bed when I'm gone, and also my cats.  ;-)  I took Monday off on a whim and spent most of the day relaxing, though I also got some seasonal clothes switched out and got to the gym.  Tuesday marked my triumphant return to the office, wherein I was swamped completely with work from my two day absence.  Luckily I got everything back in order and got a ton done yesterday.

Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Of Monsters & Men concert at Merriweather Post Pavilion.  I'd seen them in a tiny venue last year, but this was a whole different thing.  Huge attendance, fantastic show, loved it.  Went with my friend, M and we had a great time.  Lucked out and got gorgeous weather after a Monday full of torrential rain and storms, and a forecast tonight and tomorrow of more rain and storms!  Love it when things work out.

On a related note, I had an epiphany last night in the parking lot of the pavilion.  What was this epiphany, you may ask?

Answer:  It is really, really alarming to see your FWB person out in the real world.  I somehow, some way managed to encounter Artboy in the parking lot of this huge venue prior to the show. I haven't seen him in almost two months. I turned around to see if my friend was still behind me and there he was.  It took me a minute to place him because I'm not used to seeing him out and about.  He came over and gave me a hug, I introduced him to my friend.  We mused about how weird it was to run into each other there, exchanged some small talk.  We ended up running into him in line to get in a few minutes later, and then once we were in our seats I somehow spotted him halfway across the venue when he got up from his seat.

It was weird.  Really, disconcertingly weird.  None of my friends had ever met him before.  For all they knew he didn't even really exist.  But now M has met him, and he's real, and it's weird. 

He IMed me a couple of times during the show about random things, but that was about it.  He'd met up with a friend (a girl) who ended up with an extra ticket at the last second.  For all I know he's dating her.  Who knows. 

I hate myself for it, but I caught myself looking over at him a few times during the show.  It made me angry to see him being a functional, social person with this girl....laughing and talking and bobbing his head to the music.  It reminded me that in his world I do not merit such things.  In his world I am relegated to visits to our respective homes, and that's pretty much it.  We went out for drinks and dinner one time this fall, but that was the first time we'd done anything in the real world in a year and a half basically. 

This situation remains my fault ultimately.  I choose to keep associating with him.  I choose to allow myself to be relegated to that role.  I don't demand anything more, not in any fashion that sticks.  I don't demand respect, so I don't get it.  It was really very disconcerting to be confronted with that in real life.  To see him with someone else and to see him behaving like a normal person.  To be reminded that he doesn't turn everyone down, he just turns me down.  If I'd had an extra concert ticket he would have had an excuse to give me in return.  He calls me his friend to keep me around, but he doesn't treat me like his friend.

I resisted the urge to IM him something snarky about it last night, and then again this morning.  What good will it do?  We accept the love (friendship, respect) we think we deserve.  When someone shows you who they are believe them.  If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it. Don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay.  So many wise quotes, so many things I copy down and file away because I know I should take them to heart.  So many things I have not yet fully learned to accept.

Anyway.  I know he's a jackass and I know I'm a moron for continuing to engage with him, so feel free to skip over that part in any comments.  I bring this on myself!

In better news, things with recent date guy are going well.  I'll just call him T because I am lazy and un creative today!  We were originally going to go mini golfing on Thursday, but we ended up getting ridiculous rain that night.  We shifted gears and met at a local restaurant for dinner instead.  We had a very good time and got along well again, and he definitely makes me laugh.  :-)  We are going out again on Saturday night.  Yay!  Third date always seems to be some sort of important's rare for me to find someone I can get past three dates with anymore!  Crossing fingers, as T is intelligent, funny, sarcastic, cute and interesting. 

I deserve something like that.  I deserve someone who wants to be with me.  Who makes an effort to contact me every day.  Who wants to make me laugh, and do fun things with me.  One day I will find that again!  In the meantime, so many fun things to do!  Comedy show Friday night, plans with a girlfriend for lunch and a movie Saturday afternoon, date saturday night, trainer sunday and maybe another movie.  I'm ready for my weekend again.  :-)

Thursday, June 6, 2013


I'm feeling very restless today!  I did get to my first Nationals baseball game of the season last night.  It was spectacularly gorgeous weather, and our fairly cheap seats turned out to be pretty great!   I went with two girlfriends from work, and I scored a new Nationals cap while I was there.  Super cute.  :-)  All of these things mitigated the fact that the team got humiliated by the Mets 10-1.  :-/  I came home from the game and managed to get to the gym for 40 minutes of my usual 60.  I was so tired, and that was the best I could do at 11:30.

Today I'm at work, tired and unmotivated.  I'm ready for my weekend already, and more importantly, ready to find some time to get my laundry done and some other practical type things before I leave.  I have my second date tonight, and our original plan was mini golf.  However, it's looking like it may rain!  He advised me this morning that he has a backup plan, though I've not yet been told what that is.  Curious.

Have I mentioned how lately everyone is trying to set me up with someone?  Both girls from the game last night have people they are trying to set me up with right now.  I am waiting to see how things go over the next few days before engaging with anyone new.  I'm not programmed to juggle so many competing interests successfully.

I'd really rather just have a day to go somewhere and read for a few hours, watch some episodes of Grey's Anatomy on Hulu, sleep in, relax while my laundry spins around in the laundry room downstairs.  Alas, it is not to be!

Supposed to rain and possibly storm tomorrow.  Really hoping it doesn't affect my flight.  That would be a hassle!  Was going to get a nice blowout for the weekend, but now I'm weighing the cost/benefits of it with the rain chances tomorrow.  We shall see!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Chick Date

So I went on a first date with a new girlfriend last night.  :-)  Kidding, of course, but it really was kind of like a first date!  I met J through the meetup group I attended on Saturday, and we were the first ones at the event, and got to talk for a few before the rest of the group arrived.  She's a fellow online dater, also divorced, and moved here from the Midwest.  We have a few things in common, although she's also very different.  Her ex-H was a military officer, she's lived in Hawaii and overseas, and has done a lot of international traveling in general. 

Anyway, she messaged me after the meetup to ask about my Saturday date, and suggested we get together for a drink.  So last night I met up with her at the Metro stop near my work and we wandered through Georgetown, as it was her first visit to that area.  We got a drink at a tapas bar down that way and just chatted.  It was a great time, and I'm always happy to make new friends and broaden my social circle.  She lives in the same city as me for the time being, though she's just staying with a friend while she determines where she wants to live.

It was a nice mid-week break, and the weather was gorgeous, and I just really enjoyed being so social yesterday between that and my lunch in Dupont Circle with an old coworker/friend.  We are having some spectacular weather here this week, low 80s with low humidity and nice breezes, so I'm glad to continue my enjoyment of said temperatures with plans to go to a Nationals baseball game tonight. 

Spoke with date guy last night, as we've taken to texting, and it looks like we are going miniature golfing on Thursday night.  Yeah, yeah, it's an old favorite of mine, what can I say?  Plus, I just think it's a cute date, and it's a fun activity and a low key way to get to know someone better. 

Right now, in the middle of this work week, I feel like I have so much to do and not enough time to do it.  Over lunch today I need to run to the drugstore for a couple of things (I'm almost out of eyeliner, oh the horror!).  After work is the baseball game, and depending on how late I get back I'd like to get to the gym, even if only for 30 minutes.

Thursday after work is my date, and again, I'd like to get to the gym after if I can swing it.  Friday morning I have a sessions scheduled with my trainer at 9am.  These are just all of the scheduled things I have going on.  I also need to find time to do laundry, paint my nails and pack.  I also dream of just having a couple hours to relax somewhere in there.  I originally had this notion that Friday before my 1:40 flight would be all sleeping in and taking it easy, and now I'm beginning to suspect that is inaccurate.  ;-) 

It's all good, though, and I'm enjoying this week.  Cheers to a much better June than last year!  :-)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013


things are feeling better.  :-)  almost as soon as i posted my woebegone, frustrated with the world blog entry, things started picking up in a crazy way.  suddenly i had so many more fun things on my calendar, including some of the things i wanted to do and couldn't manage before. 

my plans for the next few months now include:  baseball games, an amusement park, a bbq, comedy shows, a concert, happy hours, my upcoming trip to cincinnati, the following birthday trip to florida, a trip to ocean city for a girls weekend, and now a trip to nyc in the fall to see wicked and just enjoy the city. 

my weekend included: shopping for summer clothes (friday), an art fair, frozen custard and lunch with a new womens meetup group I loved, a dinner date and bowling (saturday), a session with my trainer and some errands and relaxation (sunday). 

tonight i'm meeting up with a new friend from the meetup group for a drink and exploration in georgetown, as she just moved to the area.  i just got back from lunch with a former coworker/friend and it was gorgeous outside.  i'm wearing a new dress and cute sandals and i feel summery and good.

tomorrow is a baseball game with two girlfriends, thursday is date #2 with dinner date guy, whom we shall call "teacher", and friday i have a 9 am session with my trainer before i fly out to cincinnati around 1:30 pm. 

i feel like this week is my summer kickoff finally.  i'm ready to get the fun things started, and to make new friends, enjoy old ones, and go on a good date.  i'm ready to wear sandals and bright nail polish and sunglasses and baseball caps.

it's almost summer!  :-)