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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Love Languages are a real thing--Go figure!

Recently two people I know have gotten engaged.  One of them may read this blog and the engagement came after a long, thoughtful, fully involved relationship.  They dated, they moved in together, they got engaged.  The second is a friend from college who was also the best man in my wedding.  He met this woman last summer, they bought a house in January, and got engaged in late March.  This morning I got a Facebook Save the Date Event Invite for their Valentine's Day 2016 wedding.  This will be the second marriage for both of my friends, and they both have two kids as well.

Beyond this, my ex-H has told me that he has an engagement ring for his girlfriend, and is likely proposing soon.  They're going on a trip to Italy in early May and I'd be shocked if he didn't come home engaged.  They've been dating for about a year with her living in NYC and him in DC, with the goal of her moving here this summer. In summation, this has been the year of love and marriage around me, or at least engagements.

FACT:  All of this is a hard pill to swallow.  However, and I hope this goes without saying, I'm so happy for all of my friends who have found love and found someone they want to commit themselves to.  I'm especially happy for those friends who have tried before only to have it not work out, yet have managed to open themselves back up to the possibility and have been rewarded with new, better love. This provides me with all kinds of hope that second chances are a real thing, and that we really can learn from our past experiences and mistakes and make better choices as a result.

So on one hand you have all of these new relationships, engagements and marriages, both pending and recent.  On the other hand, you have me and my relationship.

"Getting married will happen at some point.  Who knows when after only a year." - Thing BF said to me today in a conversation about this very topic.

I don't know why all of these engagements and weddings are bringing up such weird emotional baggage for me.  I dated my now ex-husband for 4+ years before we got engaged.  We were engaged for a year before getting married.  We were married for 6 years before we separated, 7 by the time of the divorce.  I put my time into that relationship.  Aside from the fact that we were only in our early twenties when we got married, everything looked good on paper.  We didn't rush anything.  We took our time.  Look how that turned out.

Meanwhile I have friends who have met someone, fallen in love and gotten engaged very quickly.  In spite of my initial skepticism, some remain very happy to this day.  Others have struggled more, and are still reasonably happy, though they have expressed regret over how quickly they moved in the process at various points.

Bottom line?  There is no universal answer.  Everyone's relationship is different.  People feel comfortable making big choices at different points, and that's OK.  The only real necessary match on that issue is between the two people in the relationship.  This is where I worry about my current relationship.

"Things will happen when they happen.  It's not like it's been 4 years."

I keep insisting there's no way I'd stick around for four years at this point in my life without an indication of marriage.  Why?  I don't know.

That's right.  I have a really strong conviction about something, but no real explanation for why. Is it because the world tells me that marriage is how you prove your commitment?  Because everyone else is doing it?  Because I did it once and I was good at it, even if my spouse wasn't?  Because that's just what you do after you date for a certain period of time?  Maybe it's for all of those reasons, or none of them.  I have no idea.  I've just always felt, ever since my marriage ended, that I knew I wanted to do it again.  I always assumed I would.

I feel a little bit bad for BF.  He pointed out, rightly so, that we have this same conversation every time one of my friends gets married or engaged.  This is true, though I wish it weren't.  The fact of it makes me feel very cliched-girl, and I hate that.  I don't want to be that person pushing someone into marriage.  I don't want to feel compelled to do something for some ambiguous reason.  I don't want to get caught up in the engagement and wedding fever just for the sake of having something to get worked up about.

There's a fine line between being able to have an open discussion about your future with your partner and beating a dead horse, so to speak.  Because BF is not necessarily someone who would seek out marriage if it didn't matter to his partner, I do feel like it's OK for me to do a status check every six months or so, just to make sure we're still on the same page.  I do want to get remarried eventually, which he has always known, and I wouldn't be with him if I didn't see that potential in us.  So confirming that every now and again seems fair.  He knows where I stand.  He knows what I want in my future.  I have to continue trusting that he would not lead me on if he didn't see the potential for those things with me.

His mind is such a different animal than mine.  When we talk, it's so surprising at times how straightforward his thinking is.  My mind is a complicated pool of what ifs and maybes and it's all tangled up with emotion and feelings.  So many of his responses to me are just so matter of fact. Example:  I said something about how different we are in terms of what would basically be considered our love languages.  I'm very affectionate and vocally direct about it when I love someone.  I tell him I love him when the thought crosses my mind, which is fairly often. I don't do it out of habit, I do make an effort to say it only when I'm really thinking it.

He's more of a person who shows you by small actions and gestures. He's never going to be the guy posting on FB to declare how wonderful his beautiful GF is (like my brother does).  He's never going to be the guy to gush over me in a group setting.  He's also never going to be the guy who is all over me in public.  He's not going to hold my hand all the time or give me a bunch of quick kisses on a street corner. He doesn't constantly seek me out physically when we're watching TV or sports.

Instead, he's the guy who will buy me flowers on my first day of a new commute from a new house. He's the guy who will curl up next to me some nights in bed and nuzzle up to me.  He's the guy who will absently place his hand across my back when we're out with friends.  The guy who will casually, almost without thinking, caress my hand when we're sitting together. The guy who learned that greeting cards matter to me, and thusly now gets me the sweetest, cutest cards and writes truly sincere messages in them.  He's the person who doesn't initiate saying "I love you" constantly, but when he does say it, it feels incredibly sincere and meaningful.

I've dated (and married, and divorced) and broken up with the charmer.  The big personality.  The guy who can acclimate to any group setting with no problem, the guy everyone loves.  In the end, those people failed me.  Their larger than life "public" personas didn't fully match who they were when everyone else was gone and it was just the two of us.  Ex-H was emotionally detached by the time we split.  He couldn't connect with me on any real level.  If anything, I drove myself crazy trying to get him to react to anything at all to prove he was even present in our relationship.

Angry Ex was the charmer, too.  But when it was just the two of us he carefully tore me down.  He helped me isolate myself from my friends, and he lashed out at me with everything he had when challenged. He was manipulative and condescending and mean as often as he was charming and funny and easy to get along with.

Today while talking about all of this with BF, I mentioned how different he was from anyone I've dated before, and how sometimes it's hard for me to immediately translate his actions into declarations of love and commitment since they are so subtle and small.   I told him that sometimes, no matter how silly it sounds, I just want to know he loves me as much as I love him. How I worry in weak moments that I love him more, or am more invested, and thusly more at risk in the relationship.

"I wouldn't be with you and living with you if that were the case."

So simple.  He burrows right down through my crazy and responds so matter-of-factly.  Sometimes  I really wish my brain worked that way.  I do recognize there is great value in being emotionally in tuned with things, and seeing things that way, but I do know that sometimes it leads to these overreactions and moments of heightened sensitivity for me.  In certain moments I definitely envy the ability to deal with things primarily via logic, though I would never sacrifice my crazy mind just to be logical.  ;-)

I started rambling to him that I don't even know why I want to get re-married sometimes since it didn't work out the first time, that maybe it's better to just be happy with where things are, to stay until you don't want to anymore.  I declared that I needed to stop worrying about pointless things.  He responded that it wasn't pointless and that he was pretty open minded on how things will go with us. I said that basically sounded like the "Stay until you don't want to" philosophy and that maybe that was the smarter, simpler way to go.

"Well, I haven't taken anything off the table, except not being with you."

<3

I'm going to cool my jets with all of this marriage business.  When I'm not being bombarded with engagement announcements and wedding invites, I'm so happy in my relationship.  I have confidence in our future, even if I don't know exactly how it will unfold.  We talk about our future, we plan for it, and that's usually enough.  It should be enough!

I need to take a step back and remember that other people's relationships are their own.  People move at their own pace based on their own personalities and experiences.  Our pace is maybe slower than some around us right now, and yet maybe faster than others.  Who knows. But it's obviously working out well enough.  We laugh all the time.  We talk about our future.  We're still very attracted to each other. Moving in together has been such a great step for us and is going so well.  These are all good things that I should be focusing on!

Maybe at some point if things don't progress naturally it will have to come up again.  I truly don't want to be dating for years without knowing that a marriage is in the works.  BF knows that. But right now...it's been just shy of a year and four months.  We've been living together for just shy of two months.  We *are* progressing.  We're fully immersing ourselves in each step, and making sure it still works and still feels right before moving forward again.  For now I want to enjoy living together, enjoy being together, and enjoy looking forward to our future together.  No more keeping up with the marrying Joneses.  ;-)  Bluemoon & Bluefish at Casa Blue with J on the weekends and two cats all the time?  This simple setup makes me happy EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  It's time to allow myself to enjoy it without letting any internal or external pressure take away from it.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Benadryl is my BFF

This is the time of year where the prettier it gets outside, the more my allergies kick my ass. Everything is blooming and going green and it's so lovely, but so miserable on my poor sinuses. Yesterday turned out to be a pretty warm, muggy day, so the house was toasty when we went to bed. We ended up opening one of the bedroom windows to get some air moving, as well as having the fan on in the room.  It helped cool things down a bit, but I woke up at least three times overnight and by the time I actually got up, I had a pretty pounding headache.  I took a Benadryl because it works better than my Claritin in a pinch, and I knew I had an hour bus ride in to work through the sleepies Benadryl brings. It packed a real punch and I was exhausted on the ride in.  But on the upside, my headache cleared out and I felt human again.  Cheers for that!

My ongoing to-do list is shockingly small right now.  I'm pretty caught up on most things that need to be done, which is a nice change.  My main annoyance right now is that I have to get to the Post Office because my old gym requires notification via Certified Mail to terminate membership. LAME. I typed up my notice letter yesterday and will likely be going over my lunch hour just to get this done.  While out, I plan to pick up an RX refill at CVS, get another Burt's Bees Tinted Lip Balm for my purse, and maybe swing by Robek's for a smoothie.  We had a giant breakfast at work today in honor of Staff Appreciation, and it was fabulous, but requires a much smaller lunch as a result.  ;-)

Got to the gym last night even though I'd just worked through a migraine on my way home (again, THANKS, ALLERGIES).  Did 40-45 minutes of cardio and called it a night even though I'd wanted to get some strength training in.  Hopefully I'll be able to get a more complete workout tonight, ie 30 minutes cardio and 30 minutes strength/weights.  BF is going to be uber consumed by sports tonight, as the local baseball, basketball and hockey teams are all playing this evening.  That's a little much for me, so I will definitely not be sad to cut out for some gym time in the midst of that.  I really want to get back into the routine of it all, as that helps me so much to just know that it's part of my night.

My trial membership expires today, so I'll be signing up for my actual membership this evening. Guess I'm committing myself to this!  I definitely need it, as I've been the poster child for over-indulgence lately.  I have Omaha coming up, with lots of family pics, in less than 3 weeks, so there's not a ton I can do for that.  But I do know that just changing my workout behavior (READ:  working out on the regular) makes me more vigilant about my eating habits, and it just generally makes me feel better about myself.  Beyond that, summer is just around the corner!  I want to feel good.  :-)

I can't believe it's almost May already!  Now that I mentioned Omaha, I have to say I'm so excited for this visit.  I haven't been home since Christmas, and beyond that, I'm just really excited to have BF finally meet my family and a couple of my Omaha girlfriends.  It's a couple weeks out, but I'm really hoping we have nice weather since we want to go to the Zoo and definitely spend time outdoors if possible.  Two and a half weeks!


Monday, April 20, 2015

Hooked

So I survived my weekend on my own at the house!  Not only that, I kind of enjoyed it.  ;-)  

BF left Friday morning, so we kissed goodbye on my way out to work that morning.  Friday night I got my shellac manicure while my friend, A got her hair cut at the same salon, and then we went for dinner and drinks at a nearby restaurant.  I made the long commute back afterwards and enjoyed the rest of the night at home.  I got sucked into Season 1 of Orphan Black on Amazon Instant Video and I'm HOOKED.  I've only gotten through 3.5 episodes, but I'm loving it!  It's nice to know the actual show is on Season 3 now, so I've got some viewing to do.  

Saturday morning I got up and met a friend of mine for lunch.  We hadn't hung out in months and so we had a lot to catch up on.  He was very happy for me with regards to my move and I got an update on his dating situation as well.  The weather was GORGEOUS, to, which made the day even better. After lunch I met my friend, A at the mall out in my direction.  We did some shopping and I got a few cute things, and then we went back to the house.  Later on another girlfriend drove out and joined us, so I finally had a couple of my friends see my new place!  

We went out to dinner, got frozen yogurt afterwards and then just spent a couple of hours chatting and catching up at the house.  I had such a good time!  We laughed so much, and that kind of night is just good for the soul.  :-)  

Sunday I got up and went to the gym (FINALLY) and ran an errand before coming home to relax. BF got home around 2 pm, and he was not much worse for the wear aside from some sunburned spots and a crack in his phone screen. Sigh.  He had a good time, though, and I'm glad he got away for this guys weekend.  It was long overdue for their group, and even though it sounded tediously boring to me (SO.MUCH.FISHING), they seemed to enjoy it.  It's funny because they range in age from early thirties to mid-forties, and all have kids, and yet they still like to pretend they are cool, young, unencumbered things.  ;-)  I guess I am grateful that their idea of a guys trip is fishing, grilling and drinking at a lake house for a long weekend as opposed to a debaucherous trip to Vegas or something LOL.

Not much else going on around here.  Kind of looking forward to staff appreciation events this week, as it's something out of the norm.  We'll have J this weekend, so that should be fun since I won't have seen her for two weeks by then.  We'll have lots of Dancing with the Stars to watch (or re-watch, in my case!).  

Main thing on my radar in the next couple of weeks is Omaha.  I'm really looking forward to that trip! Always fun to see the extended family, as they're a much livelier bunch than my immediate, small family.  Plus, I love showing new people around Omaha.  I think they're usually pleasantly surprised!

Off to deal with this Monday of a Monday....


Thursday, April 16, 2015

Stromboli Thursday

So the wedding weekend was a good time!  It was great to get to see so many of my oldest and closest girlfriends all in one place.  M had a gorgeous day for her wedding weather-wise, and it was a lovely ceremony and reception.  I really think there is something to be said for a simple, to the point ceremony with just the right amount of personalization.  I know that if and when I remarry it will definitely be a simple and low key event this time around!

I had a few selfish moments over the course of the weekend that weddings often prompt.  If you're single, it makes you feel worse about being single and if, like me, you're in a relationship, but no wedding on the horizon, it can make you feel a little self-conscious about that fact.  I let myself feel it because it was there----is BF the person I will marry?  If so, how long down the road is that particular event for us?  Luckily I didn't dwell too much, as I think I was prepared for those thoughts to descend, and thusly didn't wallow too much.  I was the only one on my own in our group, but that didn't bother me since I've known everyone so long.

Sunday was fantastic, too, as I got to see my friend, T.  We always have fun doing the most random things and that day was no exception.  It was definitely an added bonus to my KC trip!  It stormed like crazy in the morning, but luckily the rain cleared out by the time we got together around 11 am.

This week back at work has been uneventful.  Today I have a departmental lunch meeting (sigh) which I believe is for the express purpose of telling us we are moving to another floor in the building. I knew it was coming, but it's been this big, weird secret and it's only now being confirmed.  As long as I still get an office, I guess I'll be fine with it, but until that detail is verified I'm a little nervous!

Tonight BF and I are going to hang out and eat strombolis.  Originally his guys' weekend was going to start late this afternoon, but they shifted plans and aren't leaving until early tomorrow morning now.  I had already decided that I was going to get a stromboli and cannoli from this place nearby for the evening's dinner on my own, so I told BF I was sticking with that plan and he could join in if he wanted.  ;-)  So we'll be getting carry-out dinner and spending the evening together before our brief couple days apart.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend!  Tomorrow I just have to trudge through the work day and then I'm getting a shellac manicure after work since I didn't manage to get one in KC.  My friend A has a hair appt. at the same place so we'll be hanging out there in the salon together.  After the salon time I'll likely go ahead and head home for a quiet night on my own.  This will likely be my best bet for some quality Netflix time on my own!  :-)

Saturday morning I'm meeting my friend Ahmad for an early lunch at 11.  We haven't hung out in months and have a ton to catch up on!  Post-lunch I'm going to meet up with A for some shopping.  I have a gift card, rewards cash and coupons for a few places so we'll hit up those spots and see what we find.  After that A will come home with me and our friend, J is also planning to come over.  I think we'll go out to dinner and then take the world's shortest tour of my new town, and then spend the evening just hanging out at the house.  I'm excited to have a couple friends see where I'm living now!

No plans on Sunday.  I'd like to go to the gym Friday night and on Sunday morning, so that's on the goal list.  Beyond that, BF will likely be home somewhere between 1-3pm, thus ending my reign as the sole inhabitor of the house.  ;-)  I imagine the rest of that day will be spent lounging like a sunday should be spent with the boyfriend.  Lovely!

Anyway, that's a fairly complete wrap-up of what I know right now.  Happy thursday!


Thursday, April 9, 2015

Friday Eve

After navigating a long and winding work week, it's finally Thursday!  I do love a good thursday, as it's Friday Eve.  :-)  Work has been fairly non-descript this week, which I suppose can be a good thing on occasion.  I am definitely ready for my long weekend, though.

I leave bright and early Saturday morning for Kansas City for the wedding.  Still hammering out a couple of details (car rental v. airport shuttle), but I'm mostly situated, aside from needing to pack tomorrow night.  I do at least have a packing list in the works.  Tomorrow night will likely be pretty busy once I get home from work.  I'll need to paint my nails (last second so they have less time to chip!) and get packed.  I'll also want to spend some quality time with BF and J before I'm gone for a couple of brief days.  :-)

I'm glad my dress is of the non-wrinkly variety, as I will likely be packing it in my bag (carry-on only) and changing upon arrival.  I have some super cute bright pink heels to pair with it since it's just black and white and I needed a pop of color.  Hoping to decide on some fun jewelry to finish out the look.  Undecided so far on my clothes for the rest of the weekend, though.  I want to bring something cute to wear out Saturday night, as we're supposed to go out for drinks and things with the bride and groom on the Country Club Plaza.  Sunday will be clothes for KC exploration with my awesome friend, T, so nothing fancy, just comfortable, and Monday is early morning flying so....not a lot of concern there.

I also got a super cute pair of shoes from Payless.  Good spot to shop for trendier looking shoes that I don't expect or need to live forever! I'm hoping to maybe get away with wearing them Saturday night, but depending on where we'll going I'll decide if it's worth the risk.  Cheap, Cute Shoes!

Last night after dinner I decided to go check out the gym I'm looking into.  I got a two week trial pass that started yesterday.  I wasn't SUPER excited to go back out into the gloomy weather after a long commute home, but I'm really glad I did!  I actually really like the gym.  It's much smaller than my previous gym, and even smaller than the other local gym I looked into, but it has a much better vibe for me than the other one.  The cardio machines are really nice with built in TVs and internet/bluetooth/etc. capabilities, and the weight machines count your reps for you and time out your breaks between sets.  They have a lot of other equipment I like, too, ie resistance bands, Bosu balls, exercise balls, steps, etc.

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and then spent about 20 minutes doing a handful of weight machines.  I have to say that it felt really good to be back at the gym.  For me, there's such a huge difference in motivation between working out at home and working out in a gym environment.  I like being there with others doing the same thing, I like the options, and I really just liked this place.  All that on day one of my trial!  At this point I'm pretty certain I'll be joining the gym once the trial runs out.  Unfortunately it is not any cheaper than the other local gym, which is almost 3 times the monthly cost of my previous gym.  However, since I am not doing the trainer thing anymore, I'm still coming out saving money compared to my previous workout expenses.

I also forgot how invigorating a good workout could be.  After work I was tired and moody (yay, hormones!).  But after the gym I felt so much better---stronger, clear-headed and proud of myself for getting back to something that I really need and really enjoy...even if I dread it until I'm there.  I was also happy that I didn't feel intimidated about using the weight machines--maybe because it's a smaller gym?  Or maybe I just don't care anymore, and I know that I know what I'm doing.

I did have to take a moment to order an armband for my ipod touch while I was on the elliptical. Now that I'll be responsible for doing weights on my own, carrying around a loose ipod like I did with trainer isn't a great plan.  Luckily it was cheap and thanks to Amazon Prime it will be here tomorrow.  :-)

I guess that's all I know for now.  I get the joy of taking a field trip to the DC Office of Public Schools this afternoon over lunch to get fingerprinted for my firm's volunteering project we do with an area school.  I had to get a TB test for this as well, and I went over Tuesday to do this originally.  I took a cab in the interest of time and was the next in line to get printed when...the power went out! There ended up being quite widespread power outages in various parts of DC, and I was lucky enough to be part of that.  I waited for about half an hour, but gave up because I had to get back to work.  Took Metro back and now because of said power outage I have to go back today.  SIGH.

Tonight's plan:  Mahi-mahi fish tacos for dinner with BF.  Gym?  Laundry!

Monday, April 6, 2015

A Successful Gamble

I'm not often the gambling sort, but on occasion I'll take a risk financially.  One such occasion was with this whole lease breaking deal with my apartment.  I had three options for terminating the lease:

1) Break the lease effective immediately, pay $500 fee, and be responsible for up to 2 months of rent or until the apartment was re-leased.  

2) Break the lease with notice, pay no fee, and pay two months rent flat.

3) Find someone to take over my lease with the apartment "as-is", with my deposit sticking with the apartment.

I decided to go with the first option even though it had the potential to cost me an extra $500.  In the end, it was the right choice because my apartment was leased to someone new on Saturday!  That's right, I moved out last Saturday and turned in my keys that same day, and someone else moved in a week later.  Isn't that craziness?  This means I only have to pay for the remaining utilities since my last bill plus the 3 days of pro-rated April rent.  

This is such a relief!  I'm THISCLOSE to being fully done with that apartment, financially and all. The property manager is supposed to get me the final numbers by Friday and then I can get that paid and be done with it.  A small part of me was afraid I'd be paying on an empty apartment until the end of May, but luckily that isn't the case.  :-)

IN OTHER NEWS---

Easter was nice.  Since I have no kids and I'm not religious, I hadn't celebrated Easter in years until last year when BF's family was in town and I met them for the first time.  J left on Saturday evening since this was her half weekend, so it was just the two of us.  We had a nice dinner of turkey breast and all the accompanying sides, and we actually ate at the dining room table like civilized people.  ;-) The rest of the day was spent with a mix of relaxation and productivity.  I finally got the last of my things organized and put away, I did some laundry, we did some garage cleanup, house chores, etc. Luckily we also spent some quality time outside on the deck enjoying the gorgeous weather!

This week at work will hopefully not be too crazy.  My supervisor is out all week for her daughter's spring break, so things will be a little quieter on that front at least!  I'm having lunch with a friend from my old job today, which I entirely forgot about until I checked my calendar just now.  Friday I have a hair appointment for a blowout.  I'm getting it mostly for Saturday, when I will be getting up bright and early to fly to Kansas City for my friend, M's wedding.  

I'm really looking forward to the trip, even though it is not even a two day long visit.  I will land mid-morning, assuming everything is on time, and take a shuttle to the downtown hotel where I'll be spending the night.  I'll either get early check in or leave my bags with the concierge and then head off to the 1 pm wedding.  Formal wedding events should wrap by five, but then I believe there's a more informal plan to go out for drinks and the like later on in the evening.  

Sunday morning my friend, T is coming into town from Columbia, aka my old college town, which is a couple of hours away.  We will be spending the day hanging out in KC and hopefully I'll think of some fun places to visit that I haven't had the chance to go to in a long time!  I'm also really looking forward to a day hanging out with T because we always have such a good time together.

I am staying the second night at a hotel close to the airport because it's cheaper and more convenient for my early Monday flight.  T is nice enough to have agreed to drop me off there before heading out of town.  I'm trying desperately to avoid adding the cost of a rental car to this already expensive mini-trip.  I fly out of KC at 8:15 that morning and return home to DC shortly before noon.  Lovely BF has agreed to take me to Dulles on Saturday morning for my 8:34 am flight and pick me up on that Monday since it's his telework day.  Much better than driving and dealing with airport parking!

I got a new dress for the event, nothing pricy, but it's cute.  It's a black and white patterned dress, and I have some super cute bright pink heels to wear with it.  Will have to do my nails in a nice, bright pink to match! Hopefully my hair will hold up, too.  ;-) I'm excited to see my friend, M, get married, and I'm super excited to see my girlfriends who will be driving from Omaha to attend.  This will be the first time the four of us have been together in YEARS.  We can get parts of the group together at different times, but it's been a struggle to get everyone together.  I haven't seen my friend, C in AGES!  Crossing my fingers for on time flights, reliable hotel transportation, and good weather.  :-)

I haven't been to KC in years.  I think the last time was in the fall of 2007 when Ex-H and I had just imploded, and we had a trip to KC for a Chiefs game already booked.  We still went together (!!!) and it was weird and awkward and not awkward enough, and so many other things.  We stayed with his dad, went to Columbia for a football game, went to a Chiefs game with my parents, and acted like everything was normal-ish.  What a mess!  So glad this visit will be under better circumstances.

Here's hoping it's a quick, easy work week.  :-)


Thursday, April 2, 2015

Stranger Things Have Happened...

So I miss going to the gym.  GO FIGURE.  I initially thought I would just work out at the house since there's an elliptical, a weight bench, and all of my various gym items (exercise ball, Bosu Ball, resistance band, Kettlebell).  But let's be real---it's just not a motivating environment.  If I'm at home I want to hang out with BF, or watch TV, or take a bath, or lay around and read a book.

I'm planning to check out another gym on Saturday.  It's this weird concept that seems popular out in that area of a gym that's only staffed certain hours, and the rest of the time it's keyfob access.  The problem with this right now is the gym I'm going to look at follows the school system's calendar to some degree, in that it's operating under seriously limited staffed hours this week because of spring break.  WTF?  They have no staffed hours today or tomorrow, so I'm stuck waiting until Saturday.

I should be able to get a 7-14 day trial pass, which is a good start. Assuming their membership fees aren't totally insane, I'll probably join.  I just really need to have access to an actual gym sometimes! At least this particular gym has other locations, including Omaha, and it's built into the membership fees that you have access to all of them.  So we'll see!  I'm really hoping they are reasonably priced.

In other news, I'm officially all moved in!  It was a really busy weekend, but we got a ton accomplished.  I turned over my apartment keys and am officially done there aside from the outstanding financial obligations.  Hopefully they get it rented out quickly.  I also got some things sold via Craigslist to sane, normal people who paid my list price for everything.  Cheers to that!

I still have some situating to do, but I'm in pretty good shape for the most part.  This weekend we need to do some more organizing in the garage now that all of my storage stuff is in there, but I think it won't be more than an hour of work.  It's such a relief to just be fully moved in.

We had J from Friday until yesterday morning because of her school's spring break.  I think she and I really bonded a lot this weekend!  We've always gotten along, but this weekend really solidified it. We hung out a lot, she sought out my company a lot, and really opened up to me about a lot of things. The kicker was Tuesday night when the three of us went out to dinner.  The subject of Take Your Child to Work day came up, and BF was saying that they don't generally allow it at his work since he works at a hospital (even though he's on the business side).  I jokingly commented that I've never participated because I don't have a kid, and J piped up, "Now you do!"  I know it was a goofy conversation, but I do think she sees me in a near stepmom role, which is pretty cool.  :-)

Tonight we are planning to FINALLY grill a dinner.  Our weather has been such a pain lately.  We can't seem to get more than one halfway decent day in a row before a crappy day surfaces again. Today is supposed to be about 70 and sunny, with similar temps tomorrow, but rain also.  Saturday is cooler again, grr.  So we're going to take advantage tonight and grill up some burgers and corn on the cob!  I'm really looking forward to it.

No real weekend plans.  We should have J again Friday until Saturday evening, so I imagine Friday will just be dinner at home and maybe watching a movie (or going to a movie).  Saturday we'll likely run some errands.  Like I said, no real plans!  But it's nice after having such a crazy busy weekend last time around!

Things are just going really well.  I will say that I've had one of those weeks where ghosts of the past have resurfaced a bit.  Angry Ex contacted me via LinkedIn of all places.  We hadn't talked in over a year.  Luckily, I think it was just a one off, quick conversation.  He is apparently still with his wife and has a baby boy.  :-o  Craziness!  Meanwhile, my other ex, M, who I've kept in more contact with just via FB, found out last week that he has an aneurysm in his aorta.  :-o  Super scary!  I didn't get a ton of details aside from the fact that open heart surgery will be in his future in the next few years. He's a firefighter/medic with two small kids----I really hope he takes good care of himself and is OK for his sake and that of his kids.

Beyond that, Artboy popped up, as he does occasionally, this weekend.  Weird thing is that he popped up Friday, he popped up Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday....just tiny exchanges, but still.  He luckily avoided giving me any further grief about my move, instead getting weirdly nostalgic.  "So your apartment is empty?"  I told him it was and he said it was sad since we used to hang out there.  OH WELL, lol.  It continues to feel so good to feel completely done with all of these people, especially Artboy since he was my weak spot for so long.  I wouldn't trade my healthy, real relationship for anything any of these people ever offered!

In other news, had to get a TB test this week in connection with my law firm's partnership with an elementary school here in DC.  We're tutoring there 1-2 times a month and the TB test and fingerprinting are required.  Super fun!  I go back either this afternoon or tomorrow morning to get the results read.  Kind of a pain, especially since our insurance didn't cover the rest, so this "volunteering" is costing me $56.  :-p

All right, enough rambling for now.  Let's hope this thursday moves along nice and quickly!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Back to work

So my personal day was a big old success. I got so much done!  I have clean and sparkly teeth, my car got an oil change and a tire rotation, I got my chiro appt. in, returned all my Comcast nonsense.  I also sold a small end table via Craigslist, packed a final carload of stuff up, and managed to go to DSW and Payless, too.  ;-)  Weirdly, DSW let me down and Payless was the winner of the day.  I came home with a cute pair of simple, black flats and a pair of comfy, black, peep-toe heels.

I finally got back to Casa Blue around 3:30 and got everything unloaded, then got a load of laundry in.  I sat down to relax and DUN DUN DUN...discovered I had two missed calls and a text from my supervisor.  She wanted me to call her, and in the end I had to log in to work to handle something briefly.  I was super annoyed because a) IT WAS MY DAY OFF b) she just wanted me to confirm her understanding of something because she no longer has any confidence in her ability to do what I do and c) I had truly JUST sat down after making several trips up and down the stairs to unload things, and all I wanted was a single hour of relaxation before BF got home.

I ended up getting about half an hour before he got home, during which time I multi-tasked by re-doing my poor, thrashed nails and watching some DVR.  Sigh.  I did get another couple of hours of Bluemoon time after BF and I exchanged hellos and day catch-ups, then we re-convened at about 7:30 for dinner (homemade chicken tortilla soup that had been in the crockpot all day).  We capped off the night with a visit to Sweet Frog for some frozen yogurt...yum!  Definitely a worthy reward for a full day.

I truly cannot wait until this move is complete.  We're so close!  It's going to be a busy couple of days, but luckily tonight is an exception.  We are going to see the 30th anniversary re-release of "The Breakfast Club" in the theater tonight. :-)  BF has (GASP) never seen it!  I'm excited to be the one to show him this classic John Hughes movie.  He's picking me up from a Park & Ride tonight so we can get some food in advance, and it will be a nice little weekday date night!

Tomorrow night he'll pick up J on the way home, and we'll have her until Wednesday due to her spring break.  Unfortunately we will be spending probably 30 minutes (I hope) getting the furniture from the spare bedroom into the garage in preparation for Saturday.  It's just a double bed, a small bedside table, a horribly ugly lamp and a small dresser, but still...so fun!  ;-)

Saturday morning will be an early waking day since we're picking up U-Haul at 8 am in town.  We'll bring it back to the house and load up the furniture we'd moved out the night before, as well as some other nonsense in BF's garage (old bed frame, another super old mattress set, etc.).  We're going to get rid of all of that before going to my Alexandria apartment.

So far I have one woman coming to see and likely purchase the couch, and I'm still working on getting rid of the dresser and TV stand.  I've had a ton of interest in the dresser, but no commitments yet.  This morning some guy emailed me to say he was interested, but had no way to transport it,and asked if I could deliver it.  UMMMM.....NO!!!

Anyway, hopefully we'll get these things sold that day, and then get the rest of the Alexandria apartment loaded up in the U-Haul.  I'll turn in my keys before we go and aside from financial obligations, I'll be done with that apartment!  Back to Casa Blue to unload (boo!!!  so many stairs...) and then to return the U-Haul.  I imagine Saturday night we'll be pretty exhausted.  Sunday I plan to work on getting the new things organized...books on the bookshelves, out of season clothes in the spare bedroom dresser, etc.  I will feel so much better when that's all done!

After this weekend I'm hopeful the only things left to do will be to get all the art hung and to get a new nightstand.  I'm relegating mine to the spare bedroom because it matches my bedroom set that will be going in there and does not match the master bedroom set.

Also, once this is all done I'll no longer have to talk about it ALL THE TIME.  I'm sure we'll all be relieved!  :-)

Anyway, that's all she wrote on this subject for today, so I'm going to wrap up.  Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Personal Day

I'm taking a Personal Day from work tomorrow.  I simply have too many things to get taken care of that cannot get accomplished after work  hours or on the weekend.  My To Do list is too long and it's stressing me out, so I'm taking Wednesday off to get things done!  It's going to be a really busy morning for sure, and probably a fairly busy afternoon.

I will start out my day driving to Alexandria to meet someone at 7:45 to sell a small table I currently have on Craigslist.  After that is an 8:20 dental cleaning, a 9:30 oil change appointment at my dealership and a 10 am chiropractor appt. that I'll go to while waiting for my car.  I will also be going to Comcast to return all of my cable and internet equipment and pay my final bill, going to my apartment to get what is hopefully the final load of things for my car and taking some measurements of the couch I'm selling since I dropped the ball on that during the original posting.

On the route between Alexandria and home I'm likely going to pit stop at one or more of the following places:  DSW, Payless, JC Penney.  I have some Rewards money at JC Penney which will likely be spent on socks because I'm glamorous like that, and the other places are because I'm having an urge for some new shoes.  Back in the town of Casa Blue I will be venturing to the Town Office Building in order to trade in my Alexandria parking sticker for a Town of Casa Blue sticker.

I hope to be done with all of this and home relaxing before BF gets home from work around 5 pm. We'll see how successful I am!  :-)  Seriously, though, if I get all of this done (and manage to get some laundry in when I get home), I will be able to cross so many things off my to do list.  Plus, I will get a lot of my Alexandria appointments done and should be set for awhile.  I really like my dentist and my car dealership, so since they are usually infrequent visits, I'd like to try to keep them.

No big plans for tonight.  We were supposed to get chicken tortilla soup ready to make for tonight's dinner, but forgot, so we're going rogue and doing waffles for dinner since it's one of the two "Waffle Days" (though admittedly the less noteworthy one here in the US).  Beyond that I'm sure it will just be a low key night since I have so much to do tomorrow.  I'm super bummed I don't even get to sleep in.  :-p

These next few weeks are going to be pretty busy.  This weekend is moving day on Saturday, and we'll have BF's daughter, J from Friday until Wednesday in light of her spring break.  We're hoping to see Insurgent soon, and I'd like to swing it this weekend, but who knows if we'll make it.  The following weekend is a nicely empty weekend, and also Easter.  We likely won't have J and will just do a little nicer dinner than usual.  Weekend after that is my short Saturday-Monday trip to KC for a girlfriend's wedding, then the weekend after that is BF's in the works "Guys" trip weekend.  Five of them are driving five hours to one guy's family cabin at some lake, where I suspect the weekend will consist of fishing, drinking, eating and bullshitting LOL.

I'm currently making plans to fill this wide open weekend.  It will be the first time I've stayed by myself at that house, so that will be interesting!  My initial inclination was to pack the weekend totally full of plans out of the house, but then I realized...in my apartment I loved an occasional night or weekend on my own.  I liked ordering in Chinese, spending the whole night in yoga pants and a t-shirt watching DVR or Netflix.  So I may compromise and take some advantage of a wide open social schedule, but not make a desperate effort to fill every minute.  Right now I just have lunch plans with a friend I've not seen in ages on Saturday and brunch plans on Sunday.  I suspect one evening will end up with plans, even if those plans include roping a girlfriend or two out to the new place, and one night may be more low key.  To be determined!

Can't wait for the end of this work day.  Looking forward to getting to my bus and spending the ride home reading or just zoning out.  Finished another book ("Little Black Lies" by Sandra Black) and will be deciding on the next one soon, as I have a few on my Kindle to read.  They include:

The Girl with a Clock for a Heart-Peter Swanson
Life Drawing-Robin Black
The One That Got Away-Simon Wood

I also have the audio book of "The Kind Worth Killing" (also by Peter Swanson).

Just watched the Girls season finale on HBO Go last night and loved it.  Thought it was one of the better season finales they've had.  Currently wanting to watch "The Jinx", while also needing to catch the episode of Grey's Anatomy from two weeks ago b/c my cable was messed up.  I'll have to get that one via On Demand.  Finally, weirdly intrigued by this new show I've read about called iZombie.  Didn't initially sound like my kind of thing (even though I love The Walking Dead), but when I read it was done by the Veronica Mars people, I was hooked.  Hoping to check out the first episode sooon to see what I think!  Speaking of TWD, super excited about the season finale this sunday.  90 minutes of awesome!

Anyway, now I'm just rambling and procrastinating.  Back to work I go!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Margarita, please

I'm in a better mood than I was this morning, which is a plus.  The main issue now is that I'm just feeling a bit frazzled and discombobulated about handling the rest of this move.  I feel like there are so many loose ends to tie up and still so much to do, and it's hard to get all the puzzle pieces to fit together.

First thing tomorrow BF is dropping one of his cars off for an inspection before we head out.  We get to load my car with some garage stuff of his that we have to take to the dumpster.  Yay?  After that we're going to the apartment.We'll squish as much as we can in my CR-V, but I'm hoping to return all my Comcast cable equipment prior to that and cancel my service.  I also want to make a Goodwill trip to donate my pots, pans, dishes, flatware and miscellaneous kitchen gadgets, along with anything else that I decide against keeping.  Those trips will come first in order to clear out as much stuff as possible, and I also need to take my couple of heavy bags of books to the book donation bin right next to my apartment to get rid of those.  These chores will be a lot easier to handle with two of us there!

After those detours and loading up my car, we'll head back to Casa Blue, where we'll get the joy of unloading everything.  Once I see how much stuff is left after the trip tomorrow, I'll decide if I need to make another trip this weekend, or if I can just get the rest next Saturday.

Among other things to figure out:

Real moving truck day is a week from Saturday.  That's also the day I'm handing in my keys to the leasing office.  In between this weekend and next Saturday I need to get my move-out clean scheduled, as that's one thing I do NOT want to mess with.  Unfortunately due to timing issues I will likely need to get the move out clean prior to the actual moving of the furniture, but that should be fine.  This week's list of things to do will also include moving the current guest bed, dresser and nightstand out of the guest BR and to the garage to make room for my things coming next weekend. I also need to book the U-Haul by the end of the day Saturday just to have it on the books.  Waiting to see how much stuff I have left after our trip to decide between 9' cargo van and 10' truck.  Don't want to spend the extra money if I don't need to!

Other decisions to make include:

Gym situation-
Option 1: Cancel old gym because of no locations by new home. Keep using current trainer, which will require twice weekly sessions over my lunch break at the office.  This means mid-day showers, overly long lunch breaks, and a lot of rescheduling likely due to work obligations.  Work out at work gym or use home elliptical and weights the rest of the week.

Option 2: Cancel old gym, join new gym that costs three times as much a month for a smaller gym. Ditch old trainer. Increased gym cost alleviated by not paying trainer anymore.  No trainers.  Just me, new gym, home elliptical and weights.

Option 3: Join new, more pricy gym and enlist new trainer at same cost  as current trainer.

I really like the accountability a trainer provides, but honestly?  I've been working with a trainer for a couple of years now.  I know what to do.  If properly motivated I can do this on my own now.  WILL I????  This new gym is $60/month and my current gym is $20.  :-/

A few weeks ago all I wanted was to get to the first friday of my first week in BFland.  Now all I want is to get to a week from Sunday when I'm officially DONE with that apartment, aside from the residual financial obligations.

Right now on this friday I'm just counting down until 4 pm.  We're having a March Madness themed happy hour celebration for the office that starts then, and they'll have basketball on TVs in the room, plus a bunch of bar type food and a margarita machine.  You better believe a margarita or two are in my future!  :-)