Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Late to the Party

So I got into "Orange is the New Black" at the behest of EVERYONE, and I loved it.  I plowed through season one and then anxiously awaited season 2, which I then roared through.  Fantastic show.

Similar thing has been happening with "House of Cards".  I've had this show recommended to me so many times with such great enthusiasm, and I *finally* watched an episode last night.  It was insanely compelling, and Kevin Spacey is brilliant as always.  Can't wait to watch more, and I love knowing that I have two seasons to watch!

I would have watched more House of Cards yesterday, but it was a crazy busy and productive day.  I got my oil changed and my emissions test done so I can renew my car registration.  I had a chiro appt., had dinner and dessert with a girlfriend and went to the gym, capping off the night with a home manicure and a relaxing bath.  Good times!

Today I randomly checked out the Bleachers album, Strange Desire, and I am crushing on it fiercely.  It's got a good sound and it's like pleasing ear candy to me.  I'm excited to be listening to it in its entirety after buying it on Amazon this afternoon.

I'm reading books like crazy lately, though the last couple have been sort of meh.  Good, but nothing amazing.  I read Rainbow Rowell's latest book, "Landline".  Like I said, good, but definitely my least favorite of her books.  I guess I just feel like I've read 3-4 books with a somewhat similar time traveling plotline recently, and I liked the others better!  For the record, those were "Class of '98" by A.L. Player, "Here I Go Again" by Jen Lancaster and "Your Perfect Life" by Liz Fenton.  I really loved "Your Perfect Life" and enjoyed it a lot.

Beyond that, I also read "The Geography of You and Me" by Jennifer E. Smith.  It was okay.  Not great, just ok.  Before these books I read "Before I Fall" by Lauren Oliver.  I really, really enjoyed this book. It's another SORT of time traveling book, but more closely a YA Groundhog Day.  For whatever reason, I really liked it and I enjoyed the writing and the message and everything.  It was well written, thoughtful YA.

My current read is one I'm pretty much madly in love with.  It's called "After I Do" by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It's about a marriage that isn't working anymore wherein the couple decides to take a year break from each other to see if they either want to come back together or go their own way.  The book is so strange and wonderful so far, in that it's made me laugh out loud and made my eyes tear up in different moments.  It is brutal and honest and real.  The characters are flawed and unsympathetic at times, and at other times I can identify so much with both of them that it throws me back to my marriage falling apart, and subsequent relationships going to crap.  I'm halfway through and it's one of those books I cannot wait to get on the train to read again tonight.  I wouldn't be surprised if I finish it tonight.

So many books...some mediocre, some awful, some beautiful.  I've loved reading so many of them lately!

Good books, good music, good TV it!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

stamp that birthday as successful

So boyfriend's birthday was a success.  :-)  I met him for dinner on Friday along with his daughter, J.  The company was good and he seemed happy to have us both there, as we are most weekends! I let the restaurant know it was his birthday, so he got a birthday brownie sundae, but sadly they don't sing to birthday patrons there.  Too bad.  He did get to blow out a  candle, though!

Back at his house he opened up his gifts, which he really seemed to enjoy.  He's super excited to use the wok and is already perusing recipes and reading about how to season it properly.  Add it to our future kitchen adventures.  He also liked the T-shirt, the kitchen gadgets and had a childlike moment of joy upon receiving the Mario Kart happy meal toys LOL.

Earlier in the week on Wednesday night we very impulsively decided to take a tiny trip to Ocean City, MD to celebrate his b-day weekend.  We booked the hotel room and let J know of our plans.  We headed out Saturday morning for the drive and went straight to the beach.  We spent our afternoon lounging in the sand, enjoying the gorgeous weather and playing in the ocean.  We lucked out and got a really fantastic parking spot right by the beach, too.

After beach time we checked into our hotel and everyone got cleaned up and showered.  We then headed back to the beach, this time to the Boardwalk area.  We walked the full length of the Boardwalk, people watching, going into some shops, buying fudge (me!).  We had dinner at a restaurant along the Boardwalk where we got to sit outside and watch a supremely gorgeous sunset as we ate.  The weather was superb and it was really just a lovely evening.

We headed back to the DC area Sunday morning and enjoyed the rest of the day at BF's house.  We grilled burgers and all just hung out until J got picked up by her mom.  We got a couple of hours of solo time to spend together before I made the trek back to my house that evening.  Overall it was a great weekend and BF thanked me for making it so, and for including J in our celebratory plans.

It's interesting because so often, it's surprising to me how easily I've acclimated to dating someone with a kid. I love J-she's bright, well-spoken and has a great sense of humor.  I actually feel like she reminds me a lot of myself at that age in some ways----she's so precocious and funny.  In other ways she's an entirely different person than me in that she's self-possessed, confident and decidedly not shy.  I was very quiet at that age except with my very close friends, and you couldn't have paid me to get on stage in front of any size of group.  Bottom line is that I really enjoy her and I think having me around on her weekends with her dad is actually something she enjoys.  He bothers her a little less when I'm there (though not a ton less!) and I think activities and even cooking adventures are more fun with the three of us.  I'm not there all the time when she is, but quite often, and she seems to really enjoy chatting with me at times.

However, there are other times when I realize what a foreign thing this really is to me.  For many months, as a result of her play and then just various other social calendar items, he would have periodic weekends where he didn't have her at all.  They were flukes, but they happened rather frequently for awhile.  Now she's off school for the summer and her schedule is a lot easier, and as a result, there haven't been any weekends off in awhile.  Technically his schedule with her is supposed to be alternating full weekends and half weekends.  At this moment, we just had a full weekend and I think we're on the verge of a second full weekend.

It's hard.  I love having her around, and I know he loves it.  But our weekends are definitely very different when she's not there.  We do what we want instead of 98% of the time struggling to figure out what she wants to do and doing that.  She's a teenager so she's got her moments of being difficult, in that she will gladly groan about certain activities, but has no better ideas of what to do.  She'd be happy just staying at home and playing on her various devices or watching a movie or playing some Mario game and never leaving the house, ha!

Besides that, there's another aspect to this whole dynamic, and I have no idea if this is normal or not, as I've never dealt with it.  The thing is that thus far, after 6+ months and me being around too many weekends to count off the top of my head while J is there, BF and I do not get to do much more than kiss or make out for a few minutes in the morning.  I don't know if it's a conscious decision on his part, but it's the reality of things so far.

I've not said anything until this point because I thought maybe he just needed to get used to all three of us being there together a lot, and getting her used to me being around and being okay with me.  But she's used to me, she likes me, I like her, we're good.  And most often when we go to bed she's two floors down watching Netflix/on the computer/playing video games/chatting with her friends.  She tends to go to bed at least two hours after we retire upstairs.

The thing is, though....I only see him once during the week, and it's a weeknight, and i don't get home until nearly 6:30, and we go to bed around 11.  And lately she's there every weekend, the full weekend.  If he's uncomfortable being physically intimate with me in any way while she's in the house even after six months, and if that's some stance that he has taken for some reason, that's going to be a real challenge for me.  It bums me out to not have the option to be close to my boyfriend when he's RIGHT THERE.

I'm not asking him to lock himself in the bedroom with me for two hours while she's awake.  I'm not asking for wild escapades, walls shaking, loud, obnoxious displays of affection.  I just don't think it's hugely unreasonable to think that once we've gone to bed, and if we're cognizant of the fact that we're not alone, that we should be able to take advantage of that particular alone time.  Between our differing bed times and our hugely differing waking times (she sleeps until AT LEAST 10:30 every morning, usually later), there's plenty of time for BF and I to spend together without anyone being the wiser.

I mean, come on, she's almost 14.  She's not stupid, she knows what's happening as a general rule.  She surely has no desire to have it confirmed, but there's no need for it to go that far.  I just don't want to have to stick around until 5 pm every Sunday to have any solo time with my BF when I only see him once during the week otherwise.

It's a weird situation, and it's totally new to me.  I don't know if this is even a specific choice he's made, or if it's just something he hasn't dealt with since she has been older and more aware.  That's wholly possible, and I get it, I do.  But at a certain point I guess I just thought he would relax about it.  Couples with kids do this in their daily lives, and no one is emotionally scarred.  Honestly, J seeing her dad in a happy, affectionate (to a reasonable degree) relationship is probably a good thing for her.  Her parents have never been together, and her mom's bf sounds like he is an on/off situation.

Again, I'm not in any way saying that J should be privy at all to what we do behind closed doors.  I'm just saying that I don't think that the fact that she's in the house should mean that we are banned from anything more than innocuous kissing.  Am I way off base her?


All I know is that I love him, I'm very attracted to him, I like feeling close to him.  Right now I feel like I'm grabbing the time when I can find it, and there aren't a ton of choices.  I find myself checking the calendar and wondering how many days it is until our Outer Banks vacation when it will just be the two of us for seven days, LOL.  Worst of all, I find myself wishing that just occasionally, J would have more plans that precluded her from spending a full weekend at BF's house, and I feel super guilty about that!  Even if we could just manage to get back to the supposed real schedule, wherein every other weekend she leaves Saturday at 5pm, I could work with that if he still hasn't loosened up about things.

In the end, I guess I'm just hoping that eventually BF will relax, and that he'll realize that we can sneak those moments when she is around, and the world won't grind to a halt as a result.  :-)  I feel like that HAS to happen eventually, right???  FINGERS CROSSED.

Patience is a virtue, blah blah blah.  :-)

I'd rather be washing my hair

I bought two different new sets of shampoo/conditioner last night because I couldn't decide between them.  I also like to alternate between two on a normal basis, anyway, so this wasn't as crazy as it seemed.  I was hoping for a hair miracle this morning when I used one of the new ones, but as usual, my curly hair was just a fuzzy mess.  I started with one product mixed with an argan oil, like I often do, but my hair seemed super awful.  So I added another one, and before I knew it, another one just on a couple spots.  I left the house at that point because I was going to miss my bus, and I immediately knew I'd made a huge error in judgment.

Today Bluemoon's hair is a product-laden mess!  I am burning with the desire to go home and wash all of this crap out, but I've got many more hours left in this workday, and there will be no hair washing for at least 8 hours.  Sigh.  I go through phases where I love my curls and they're working for me, and other times I just feel exasperated with my hair at all times, and nothing I do fixes it...cuts, styling products, finger curling, diffusing, air drying, etc.

In other news, looks like I'm getting moved from my current office at work to a different one on a different floor.  Same building, as we occupy three floors.  The main problem is that I'm getting moved from the floor I love, with most of my work friends on it, to what is basically the most boring space we have.  My biggest gripe aside from getting wrenched away from the social center of things is that I will be several floors away from the two people I work with most in my position, which is our General Counsel and one of the Approving Partners.  Right now they are not only on my same floor, but just down the hallway on either side of my current office.  It's easy to drop things off, pick things up, and stop by for quick meetings.  They are both insanely busy, so usually it's much easier to just catch them spontaneously than it is to schedule with them.  This move is going to add many measures of inconvenience to my job.  In addition, secretaries and attorneys stop by all the time to ask questions or run things by me, and they will NOT be doing that to nearly the same degree once I get moved.  The only people on the floor where I'm going are the CFO, the HR Director, my supervisor, the finance dept. and at times batches of miscellaneous contract attorneys.

I'm not complaining too much because I know that a) it won't make a difference and b) I'm moving to another office and not getting demoted to a cubicle, and the new office does have a window (even if it looks into an alley between our building and the one next to it).  It could be worse, but it's a bummer.  I know the move is coming, but I don't know exactly when.  I've been told it should happen before August, so we'll see. The only little perk is that I do get a weird joy out of organizing new spaces, and so that will be fun.  They'll move all my files and whatever I box up for me, but I will get to figure out how I want everything situated, and I will be leaving behind this awful, gigantic and weirdly laid out desk in favor of a new, more modern and streamlined style.  Cheers to that!

We've had a lot of rain and storms in the last few days, which I do love.  Hot days, stormy evenings.  Today the storms are gone and we've been left with a pretty lovely day in the low to mid eighties without insane humidity.  I'm enjoying it!

BF is coming over tonight as he does most Wednesdays.  I have some chicken breasts cooking in the crockpot with hot sauce for sandwiches tonight, and we'll be having some mixed veggies and probably a small pasta or rice side. I prefer having meals planned in advance if I can swing it when he comes over on week nights so we don't spend a ton of time cooking when we really only get a few useful hours of time to relax together.

I'm going to do a separate post for birthday recap and all other BF related stuff just to avoid this particular post getting too wordy!

In summary, my hair is gross today and while I love my boyfriend, the first thing I want to do when I get home is dunk my head under the shower and wash everything out of my hair!  :-o

Monday, July 7, 2014

my turn for birthday fun

BF's birthday is on Friday, so it's officially my turn to be thoughtful and creative.  We hit the six month mark on Thursday, which was pretty cool.  :-)  Seems that summer is a busy time for us, starting with my birthday, then the 4th of July, then his birthday, and in a couple of weeks, his daughter's b-day.  It's a good time!

He's much more practical in terms of gifting, so I won't be searching for a heartwarming piece of jewelry for him.  ;-)  Instead, I'm going with a selection of smaller things I think he will enjoy.  They include:

A card and a couple of little Bluemoon style written things I will be doing. I have to add my personal touch!  :-)  I am also getting him a t-shirt that supports his favorite NASCAR driver, a small collection of cooking gadgets that he's been wanting, and a wok.  The man does love to cook, and a lot of the fun we have on the weekends at his place is trying new recipes or new cooking gadgets.  This weekend we made homemade potato chips!  YUM. The t-shirt breaks up the kitchen theme a bit at least.  I'll also be getting him some Reeses Pieces, as they are his favorite.  :-p

We are celebrating the actual birthday by going out for an Italian dinner friday night with his daughter.  No other plans have been determined yet, but that's our starting point!

** I also got a new bikini and will either be a) sending him a picture of me modeling new bikini and/or b) wrapping it up in a tiny package to present to him since it's more of a gift to him than it is to me.  ;-)  HA!

Crossing fingers that my birthday plans are a success!  He says birthdays are not a big deal to him, but I feel like may be because no one has made a big deal out of his birthday for awhile.  I want to change that, but within reason.  :-)  Nothing over the top, just lots of little things to let him know he's appreciated!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

post-birthday musings

My beautiful flowers from BF.  :-)  Even better on day two, gorgeous on day three!

I had a wonderful birthday.  I took the day off, slept in, got Dunkin Donuts for breakfast.  I spent some Rewards and birthday money from Ulta on new perfume (Philosophy Pure Grace, which just smells clean and lovely and light), and I got a couple of pairs of shorts (black linen and just a cute pair of plain white shorts) elsewhere.  I spent some time at home just relaxing before BF got over to my place, and we spent the evening at a Potomac Nationals baseball game, with birthday dinner consisting of a Nathan's hot dog (YUM) and ballpark nachos for me.  :-)  What can I say, I'm easy to please!  We got Cold Stone Creamery (birthday cake remix!) afterwards.  Once back at my apartment I got to open my gift from him.  He got me a lovely, sweet card, and a beautiful little necklace.  It's delicate and small and perfect, and I LOVE IT.  

My ex-H used to get me jewelry, but it always seemed to be more about where it was from, or how much it cost.  He meant well, but he didn't understand that I'd love something smaller and cheaper if it was more my style.  I loved getting this gift from BF because it's a tangible reminder that I can wear every day to remind me of how lucky I am to have him in my life.  

Between my friends, my family and BF, in addition to the awesome day I spent solo, I had a wonderful birthday!  Next up..planning what to do to celebrate BF's birthday, which is July 11.  :-)

Monday, June 23, 2014

monday surprises

So I took tomorrow off for my birthday like I talked about.  Today has been dragging as a result, but I'm muddling through.  Just after lunch one of the office services folks stopped by my office with a from BF.  Tulips, no less, which are my absolute favorite.  They are red and purple and vibrant and gorgeous and happy-making!

It was completely unexpected and has had me smiling all afternoon.  :-)  I'm leaving them here so I can enjoy them the rest of the work week, but I'll definitely miss them tomorrow!  They came with the nicest, sweetest note, and it was really just a lovely Monday surprise!

Tomorrow's plans are still up in the air, I mostly plan to just do what sounds good.  I do know there will be a birthday dinner in there, but that's the only certainty!  I'm just happy to be celebrating another birthday with a ton of wonderful friends, family, cats and boyfriend in my life.  My big old happy hour with friends and coworkers and BF on Friday went really well and I had such a fantastic time.  They sang me happy birthday while I blew out the candles on a tiny, decadent dessert...different groups of friends got to meet for the first time, BF got to meet almost everyone for the first time.  I laughed so hard my stomach hurt, I got pleasantly tipsy on birthday drinks, but not enough where I felt sick later, and I spent an evening with most of my favorite people in the local DC area.  It was a wonderful birthday celebration, and I'm looking forward to round 2 tomorrow!  :-)

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Birthday Inspiration

I haven't posted in ages! I guess without the trials and tribulations of online dating I have less to say on a daily/weekly basis?

State of the Relationship
Things continue to go well with BF.  June 3rd marked five months since we started dating, which is a pretty huge thing!  I hadn't dated anyone for any real period of time in three years, so it's really nice to finally have found someone worth sticking around for.

I love him.  He's sweet, funny, sarcastic, honest, genuine and seems to be all in with me.  I've never dated someone who is as actively invested in making good choices for the relationship as I am, and we can talk about anything.  He seems to be almost constantly cognizant of my feelings and how things affect us as a couple, and acts accordingly.  He tells me everything, and we are reaching levels of trust that I only imagined I could get to again.  The difference?  This time it's with someone I trust 100%.  We've had moments where we've had to have a couple of important, long talks, but they have done nothing but benefit us greatly and bring us closer together.

Beyond that, I am ridiculously attracted to him.  I don't remember the last time I was this physically drawn to someone AND emotionally and intellectually drawn to them as well.  It's so often been one or the other, or one compensating for the lacking of another.  I was nervous in the beginning of things on this front because it took awhile for us to truly get comfortable, but it was well worth the patience!

We have so many plans.  My birthday.  His birthday a couple weeks later.  His daughter's birthday later in July.  Our beach trip for Labor Day week (hoping to finally book the house tomorrow!).  I want to take him back to Omaha to meet my family in the late summer/fall.  As he noted during one of our recent talks, it's so nice to make all of these plans and actually be following through on them.  :-)  I think we are both continually pleasantly surprised by how well things are going, and how nice it is to be with someone who cares as much as we do.

State of Everything Else
I'm good.  I'm happy.  :-)  Work has been insanely busy, but I'm getting a lot done.  We recently had a firmwide meeting with the Executive Committee wherein they gave us insight into how the firm is doing so far this year, and the news was good.  It was so good that they announced we would all be getting a mid-year bonus at the end of June.  I am incredibly grateful for their generosity, and for their recognition of all of our hard work in support of the firm.

My birthday is June 24th.  Last year I was lucky enough to spend my birthday in Fort Lauderdale at the beach with my good friend of many years, Tracy.  We had such a fantastic time relaxing on the beach, exploring Fort Lauderdale, and even checking out the life-sized Barbie Dream House.  It was the best birthday I'd had in awhile!

I'll be sticking around town this year, though I think I'll still be okay with it.  :-)  I'm doing a birthday happy hour on the 20th, the Friday before my b-day, with old work friends, new work friends, and other friends I've met through other means.  It's always so interesting to combine different groups of friends and see what happens!  I'm excited to celebrate with everyone, and BF is coming into DC to join since his daughter is busy that night.  I'm overdue for a haircut and highlights, so I've scheduled them for that day so that I can feel extra wonderful for the occasion!  I think I may also go out and hunt for a fun, cute b-day outfit for the evening.  :-)

After that, a girlfriend of mine that I've known since before high school will be in town for work, so we're doing dinner the night before my b-day.  I'm still torn on what to do for my actual birthday.  BF can't take off work, nor can anyone else really.  I'm still considering taking the whole day off.

I've been considering how I would fill my time.  My thoughts?  Sleep in.  Gym (maybe!).  Solo movie? Track down the pool my apt. complex has access to and chill in the sun?  Go shopping with the giftcards I will probably get upon opening birthday gifts from my family that morning?  Try to wrangle a friend into meeting me for lunch?

Evening plans are easier.  Dinner, maybe miniature golf, maybe an inaugural visit to the Capital Wheel over at the National Harbor, and possibly Cold Stone Creamery for a birthday cake remix capper!  I'm not fully decided yet.

If you had your birthday day off and no one could spend it with you, would you still take the day off?  If so, what would you do with your time?  I'm not one who hates being alone, I actually really enjoy doing things solo when the opportunity arises.  I can easily entertain myself!  It just sounds more appealing than sitting at work.  ;-)  BF should be to my place by 4pm, so we'll have a long evening together for official b-day celebrations.

Anyway, that's my update.  Happy June!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Vacation, all I ever wanted

So I wanted to do a quick recap of my weekend getaway with BF.  It was fabulous.  :-)  The cabin was adorable!  It was modern enough that I felt comfortable, as I'm not a roughing it kind of girl.  It had a steep, winding driveway and was totally secluded from other houses nearby, backing up to miles of national forest. There was a deck, a hot tub, a fire pit and a hammock outside.  We took advantage of all, though the hammock was better in theory than in reality.

We grilled most of our meals, we roasted marshmallows over the fire pit, we watched gorgeous sunsets from the deck, and we spent so much time in that awesome hot tub, probably twice a day.  It was the best way to end each evening, with the trees swaying in the breeze around us.

We also went to the Luray Caverns, which was really cool.  I'd never been to the area, so it was all new to me!  We did the Garden Maze at the Caverns, which was a lot of laughs.  It took us awhile, but we managed to get out!  Beyond that, we did a brief section of Skyline Drive, which was gorgeous.  Spectacular views and just a fun little afternoon adventure.

I was so pleased with how we did together on this trip.  We got along insanely well, and I never felt crowded or tired of him, or frustrated with him.  We were just so in sync, and I think it was a really great relationship moment for us.  It happened to fall over our four month anniversary, too, which was nice!  We met a pretty cool milestone in that cabin in that we finally said I love you to one another.  I'd been feeling it for awhile, and I'd promised myself that when the feeling became too much to keep inside I'd tell him.  So we were standing there in the living room of the cabin in a long hug, and I just blurted out, "So, I love you".  He told me he loved me back, that he'd been in love with me for quite awhile, probably since too early on, and that he'd already decided this was going to be the weekend he told me.  I beat him to it.  :-)  The important thing was that we're both on the same page.

It was so liberating to have that out in the open, so I don't have to keep thinking it on a loop and not saying it, or sending him emoticon hearts in our texts as my own secret way of telling him without telling him.  We both reveled in the freedom a bit, and the rest of the weekend was peppered with statements like, "I'm so glad I can finally tell you how I feel" and such things.  It felt really amazing to share that, and I know that Luray will always hold a special place for me now!

Coming back to reality after the trip was hard, but we gained so much from the trip that it was all worth it. We are in such a good place, and are already planning our next trips!  We are planning on a week long (!!!) trip to the beaches in Outer Banks for Labor Day week, and then a trip to Omaha again probably in late September, for which he'll be joining me.  :-)  We also aim to fit in another more local weekend getaway between now and the beach, but first we're focusing on the other two and getting them situated.

Things are good.  I am happy.  :-)

Friday, May 9, 2014

It's a Good Thing

It's a good thing I'm not getting ahead of myself in this young relationship.

It's been four months of dating now.  We're in a really good place.  I know that sometimes, especially when people reach their thirties and later, romances become whirlwinds, and people end up engaged after a couple months, married at six months.  That's not us.  It's not us now, and it won't be us.  He's pretty cautious, and I'm pretty cautious.  I'm okay with that for now.

If I were getting ahead of myself, I would worry about the fact that he lives an hour away, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on traffic.

I would worry that, while he works twenty minutes from me now, he's going to be interviewing for a job that is forty minutes from me, and twenty minutes closer to his house.  I would worry that our weekday visits would be so much harder to manage, if not impossible.

If I were getting ahead of myself, I would worry that my last great hope of making a logical play to get him to move closer to the city if we stayed together will disappear if that job comes through.

Sure, his daughter lives midway between us.  Sure, I live in Alexandria and work in DC.  But if that job materializes, my third and final argument about him working near where his daughter lives would be gone.

I lived about forty five minutes away from everything for Angry Ex.  He worked in the city we lived in, I still worked in DC. He made me promises of dinners every night, and other accommodations to ease the fact of my commute.  He lived up to none of them. I resented him for it, and I vowed two things:

1) I vowed to never move in with a guy again until I have a ring on my finger and a commitment.  We don't have to be married, but we have to be engaged with a plan.

2) I vowed to never move that far away from my job again.

For the first time, I handled news like this like an adult.  I didn't automatically make it about me, or how it would affect us.  I encouraged him to apply for the new job if it's what he wants.  I told him he'd worked hard enough to deserve it and put in the time (it's within his same company).  I commented on how it would improve his commute.  He told me that from all sources he has, including his past supervisor and current supervisor, the job is probably his if he wants it.

In my head, I was not quite so calm, but I realized that was my own nonsense, and it was way too early to worry about anything in this vein.  I knew that it would have been wrong of me to project my own practical concerns onto him at this point, when the job is just a possibility.  I knew it would be wrong to pull focus from the excitement about a great professional opportunity to indulge my own insecurities.

Also?  Somewhere inside, beneath the surface worry, I know we would be okay.  We would work around it.  We would make a new normal if this new job becomes a reality.  I can't conquer all the long-term battles, I can't know how we would deal with the living situation if we ever decided to cohabitate, but the ones about how our day to day relationship would change during this dating period?  Manageable.  Completely workable.  I know we both care enough to sacrifice a little more driving, a little more inconvenience, to make time to see each other during the week no matter where we work or live.

After we'd talked about it for awhile, he said, out of nowhere, "Don't worry.  I haven't forgotten about our weekday time at your place."  With those words, he addressed the unspoken, and it felt better to have him remind me that I was obviously going to be factored in than it would have if I'd called attention to my plight on my own.  In past relationships, I would have gone down that road immediately.  What about how this affects me??  We'll never see each other!!!  Oh well, whatever.  It sucks, and I'm going to make you feel really bad about it, but then tell you not to feel bad, even though I passive aggressively want you to feel bad. So unhealthy.

None of that happened here, and I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of him.  These are little things, but I love the way we are handling them:  matter of factly, as they come, with a confidence that we'll make it work.

It's a good thing I'm not getting ahead of myself here.  ;-)

Thursday, May 1, 2014

spaghetti arms

It's been a busy week in Bluemoonland!  Tonight is going to take the cake for the week, though.  Upon my arrival back home after work around 6:15, I have to clean up my apartment, do a load of laundry, paint my nails, go to the trainer and pack.  I also have maybe plans to get to Target for a couple of things, but that may fall by the wayside.

*  I met with my new trainer on Tuesday for our first session.  It was brutal, mostly because I hadn't done any training in over a month and because I've slacked on cardio AND diet.  :-o  However, I think this trainer is perhaps a bit more challenging in some of the technique and details of how exercises are performed.  I already dread going back for session #2 tonight, and will probably keep dreading him for the first month, but I know it will be good for me.  Once I build back up my cardio endurance with my own workouts I'm sure that will help, plus just getting back in the training groove.

My arms and core are super sore from Tuesday, so I imagine tonight will be legs.  I fear the intense soreness that follows a leg workout, and am super thankful I'll have access to a hot tub this weekend.  Ha!

The nice thing is that I have two set sessions every week, same day, same time.  No more of that waiting until Sunday night to get old trainer's schedule, wherein my session moved from day to day and time to time. Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8:30 pm, I'm there.  Yeah, it sounds late, but I usually go to the gym on my own around 8:30 or 9 pm, so it actually matches my pre-existing schedule.

** Last night I went out to dinner with BF, two girlfriends and R, a guy friend of mine who was in town for work.  BF had only met one of my gfs, so he got to meet two more people in my world.  R is a bit overwhelming conversationally and personality-wise, so it wasn't a flashy debut for BF, but I think it went well and we all had a good time and an obscene amount of laughs!

*** Tomorrow after work BF and I head to a cabin in the Luray/Shenandoah Valley area for the weekend.  I'm really looking forward to our first getaway!  The cabin has a hot tub, a deck with a gorgeous view, an outdoor fire pit, a grill and a hammock, LOL.  I'm excited to take a break from the day to day and just spend a weekend with BF, being outside, enjoying the weather, checking out the Luray Caverns and other little local attractions.

****  Next week after our return on Monday afternoon, my week kind of blows up into craziness.  We have tentative plans for dinner that night with BF's daughter, arranged since he won't have her this weekend. Tuesday night is trainer, Wednesday night is going to BF's daughter's latest play.  Thursday trainer, Friday is a luncheon at work for  a cool cause I've been involved in.  I'm HOPING Friday night stays good and empty, because Saturday morning I have the Susan G. Komen 5K Walk/Run with a team from work, and tentative plans with a friend in the afternoon.  I imagine I'll end up out at BF's either later Saturday or Sunday as well.   My poor cats are going to forget who I am!  ;-)

***** I got a Fitbit Flex last week.  I'm competing with a couple of friends and a friend from work so far.  It's a good little motivator to take the stairs instead of the escalator and such.  Some days are easier than others, and I'm still working out the kinks on making sure it catches my elliptical workouts!  Cool little gadget, though.

****** I secretly long for a full night where I can just come home, get into comfy pjs and marathon some DVR while eating takeout Chinese.  I need a night of Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU.  I can probably have a tiny version of this tonight before gym and after gym, but the gym interruption throws off my flow, and there's definitely not going to be any Chinese takeout.  :-o

That's all I've got for this post right now.  Don't you hate when you're at work and all you can think of is all the things at home or at least NOT at work you should be doing??

*******  I forgot...reading "The Interestings" and LOVING it.  Wish I had time to do that more, too!