Friday, January 31, 2014

Blue x 2

After our 24 hour date last weekend, Bluefish and I didn't set up a specific plan for the week aside from planning to go out Friday night.  However, during my Tuesday evening commute I mentioned I was feeling a bit restless, so Bluefish offered to meet me in the middle for an impromptu date.  I happily agreed and headed out to our meeting spot shortly after getting home.

We had dinner and talked and laughed.  We noodled over what to do next.  I had suggested a movie, but BF said, "We can't talk during a movie."  I pointed out that we talk all day, every day, and he said, "But I never get tired of it."  :-)  I assured him that I didn't either, and that my only real motivation with the movie suggestion that night was a) having something to do on a cold week night and b) getting to sit next to him and hold his hand instead of sitting across from him in a booth at a restaurant.

By the time we were done with dinner it was too late to catch a movie, so we quite randomly decided to just go to Target because he needed a couple of things.  I're jealous of my badass Target date!  :-D  The weird thing?  I had so much fun.  We were in there for maybe an hour, wandering, shopping, chatting.  I caught the giggles at one point and couldn't stop.  My eyes were watering,  I was doubled over with laughter.  I tried to regain my composure and told BF, "I'm trying to rein it in so I don't look like a crazy person here."  He laughed, shook his head and said with a smile, "It's too late.  I already know how you are, and I'm stuck."

Outside of Target it had started to snow, huge, fat, swirling flakes.  We kissed for a few minutes in the parking lot and said our goodbyes.  He asked me to text him when I got home to let him know I got back safely.  I drove home in that swirling snow and it was so beautiful and so perfect and lovely I could hardly stand it.  :-)

Tonight we were talking.  I said something silly and he told me, "I miss you so much."  I concurred, and then he said, "Monday is our one month anniversary. :-)" And then I swooned from the cuteness of that observation, and told him how adorable and awesome he was for saying it.  Then we both mused about how lucky we felt for things so far, and it was sweet and true and wonderful to say and hear.

I can't wait to see my Bluefish again tomorrow night.  :-)

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Blue Moon Smiling

So I had date #5 this weekend.  I've decided to call him Bluefish because we are stupidly well-matched, because we met on Plenty of Fish, and because I can abbreviate it BF, and one day I hope that I can honestly declare for 100% sure that that also stands for Boyfriend.  ;-)

In reality, this felt like dates #5, 6 and 7.  We spent a full 24 hours together. 

I got to his place about 5pm Saturday.  I left at 5pm today.  I did not get tired of him.  He did not get tired of me.  I learned so much more about him and vice versa.  I laughed almost constantly.  We went to dinner.  Food was amazing, I got blackened mahi mahi, grilled vegetables and garlic mashed potatoes.  I had two drinks, one of which was a Blue Moon Martini.  I felt like it was a sign!

I got accustomed to his townhouse, met his cats (he got them for his daughter, but he only has her part time).  We watched the Lifetime Lizzie Borden movie (ha!), we had brunch, we got very little sleep (4 hours for him, 2 for me, MAYBE).  I cannot sleep well in new places and it was so deafeningly quiet.  I joked that next time I'm bringing Zquil or a fan for white noise.  We played Wii bowling, Wii golf, Super Mario World 3D.  I spent hours spooning with him, or curled up next to him, or tangled up with him.  I soothed cold hands on his chest, got drawn in beneath the drape of his strong arms.  I cuddled up against him, he absently kissed the top of my head, rubbed my hands. 

And then this afternoon we sat on his couch and took turns deleting our Plenty of Fish profiles.  ;-)

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


4th date tonight.  He got there early, his strange 7-3:30 hours working in our favor on my day off.  I had him with me by 4pm, and it was so nice.  We chatted, kissed, relaxed for awhile, finally heading to Old Town for dinner around 6pm.  We walked around, saw the waterfront, meandered Old Town a bit hand in hand, huddled together against the chilly wind, and then had dinner.  I spilled my diet coke, it was so fitting!  Back at my place we just hung out until 11:15pm.  There was a lot of kissing.  I write this to you all with lips sore from the awesomeness of incessant kissing.  Things remained PG-13, which was an impressive feat this evening.

I texted him a bit after he left.  I thanked him for another great evening, and told him I loved having him here with me tonight.

His response?  "Anytime, of course.  I always have so much fun with you.  I feel very lucky to have met you."

We laugh so much.  I continue to feel like the best, most sparkling version of myself when I'm with him.  Even when I have an awkward moment, or say something nerdy, I don't feel embarrassed.  I didn't panic when I spilled the Diet Coke.  I just knew it was okay.

While he was here I told him I felt like I had to soak up as much of him as I can and he agreed.  We were both reveling in the fact that for him, he normally "gets tired of people quickly" and I "feel smothered very easily".  We noted that the distance probably is helping that early on, and he said, "But when we do see each other it means more."  Sigh.

He just got home and texted me that he's already missing me, and can't wait to see me Saturday.

This is so foreign to me.  Normally this panics me.  Normally this freaks me out, makes me feel smothered and stuck and cornered.  But from him?  In this?  It gives me more and more happy butterflies and I can't wait to see his house, and his city, and know where he is when we're apart and talking, to have a visual.  I want to learn more and more about him, and to have him learn more and more about me.  This is all just so damn exciting, and I LOVE IT.

Monday, January 20, 2014


For my own sake as much as letting you all in a tiny bit on what I have here, this post is basically just snippets of conversations we've had just since our third date.  Nevermind that after our second date, when discussing plans for our third, he told me that, "The first thing I'm going to do is kiss you, because I already miss kissing you.  After that, I don't care, we can just get dinner somewhere, it doesn't matter."  And he did, and we did.  :-)

After our third date:
"I had a great time with you as usual.  It never matters what we are doing, I always enjoy it.  I can't wait to see you on Monday."  Got that before I even got home that night. 

"Those interesting things are what makes you so awesome." (Day after third date)

"Maybe you just bring out the interesting in me." (Day after third date)

In a conversation about me having bought new throw pillows, in the context of a running joke we had about my NY's Eve plans with my gf, A, and the ongoing dream of men that anytime two women are together we are in our underwear pillow fighting.  It segued into me talking about how I don't really have sleepovers so often, and he joked that I could find someone on CL to have one with.  I said yeah, since I can't find a real life volunteer, and he responded, "Yeah, it's not like you have someone you're dating who wants to hit you with a pillow."

Me: I'd rather kiss you than hit you with a pillow.
Him: Aww, please do.
Me: In two days I'll take care of that.
Him: I can't wait to see you again.  You just gave me a huge smile. 
Me: It's good to have something like you to look forward to.  :-)
Him: When I left work yesterday I was thinking to myself that I can't believe I'm looking forward to Monday.

Another time yesterday I told him he had good taste, and he said, "It seems that way recently."  I joked that flattery would get him everywhere, and he said that he seems to have it coming out of his ears around me.  I said, "Even better?  It feels sincere."  He said, "It is sincere, trust me.  You don't use condiments and you turn your meat into hockey pucks (because I got a well done burger on date #3).  I don't know where it's coming from, LOL."

Last night: "We don't have anything in common but making out.  Oh, and somehow being able to have a nonstop conversation."

When we were talking late-ish tonight and he was already in bed, I told him it's okay if he goes to sleep, as he has to work tomorrow.  He said  "I want to talk to you as long as possible :-)." 


It is so stupidly, amazingly, beautifully refreshing to have something like this right now.  I don't come home from my dates and have to decode anything he said.  I don't have to translate, or hypothesize, or wonder if he likes me, or what he meant by this or that, or why his words don't match his actions.  I don't have to debate about when it's okay to text him, or what it's okay to say, and I don't have to wait around wondering if I'm going to see him again.  We've talked about additional dates each time we've gone out basically, and after the third one I already had two more on the books.  We make comments about "adding it to the list" for things we want to do, or movies to watch together.  He mentioned making bread with his daughter this weekend, and I noted how I missed homemade bread, and he instantly offered to make more for me next weekend.

WTF, mate?  I am dating someone (God help me, I just said I'm dating him, not just going on dates with him, and YES, there's a difference in my head, LOL) who tells me that he likes me, tells me that he is excited to see me, makes timely plans to see me again, and with whom I feel like I am truly on the same page at this point.  It's a TWENTY FOURTEEN MIRACLE!

I know it's not bulletproof.  I know it's only been three dates.  I know all the warnings and cautions and be carefuls, and they are still in here.  But they are trailing at the bottom right now, being overwritten by excited butterflies, and a deep, warm want to kiss this person again, and to feel my hand entwined with his again.  He makes me laugh multiple times every day, he encourages me when I'm feeling tired, migraine-y, stressed, or when I'm on the elliptical and not feeling it.  He tells me I'm beautiful and it feels sincere and true, and I feel on my game and dynamic and sparkling when I'm with him, or talking to him, or thinking about him.

Three dates.  Date #4 tomorrow night and I can't wait to see him again.  There it goes...that little swirl of anticipation in my stomach, that involuntary smile, that flush in my cheeks.  I love this feeling.

let's start at the very beginning

I've been trying to write this post for at least a week now, but I always end up stuck.  I think a little part of me is afraid that if I write it down to share with people, it will go away, or get ruined, or collapse in on itself. It's not really a big deal yet in practicality, but at the same time, it's a very big deal.

Three dates.  In my last post I wrote about having had a first date that went well, with plans for a second. Well, the second one happened, and then a third.

I "met" him via POF a couple of months ago.  We chatted intermittently on the site, but he treated the messages more like IMs, always very short and conversational, so we never got a lot of content exchanged. He seemed nice, but didn't stand out in any way.  At some point in December, he asked for my number for the purpose of sending me a picture of a turkducken he was cooking, just because.  Thus began our text relationship, and suddenly he had personality, and a sense of humor, and he made me legitimately laugh.  I never even got the picture of that turkducken finished product btw.  ;-)

Anyway, when I was home for Christmas we were still texting, and he kept sending me the most hilarious little things, and I found myself more interested in talking to him.  We kept talking more and more, and by NY's Eve we were talking basically consistently through the day and evening.  We finally made plans to meet up on Friday, January 3rd due to a last minute scheduling change.  He has a 13-year old daughter who he usually has on the weekends, but she was unable to come that weekend, so he asked me out.  I told him my college football team had their bowl game that night, so we met at a sports bar to watch the game.

First impressions:  He was cute, looked like his pictures.  Six foot tall, blonde hair, fair skin like me.  The game was fun, and it lasted forever.  Conversation was pretty good, and I was attracted to him.  Not the kind of attraction I'd had with Artboy right off the bat, but the pleasant kind of attraction.  At the end of the night we hugged goodbye and went our separate ways.  Some hijinks ensued after we separated...his car got stuck in the snow.  I went back to help, but he got out right when I got back near him.  I headed home again, and one exit down from where I'd gotten the first time, he called again..his tire was flat.  Some luck!  I drove back to where he was, and he changed the tire by the glow of my headlights.  He thanked me profusely, apologized, bemoaned what a horrible first impression this was.  I joked and said that obviously it wasn't his fault, and that all it told me was that he liked fast, impractical cars (he drives a Mustang).  On my way home he texted me and again thanked me profusely and told me I was amazing.  He said he owed me and that he'd come out my way next time.  For the record, it was 1 am and 14 degrees out when all this happened.  Even if he'd been a D-bag I probably would have gone back to make sure he got everything squared away!

So that was date #1.  We soon made plans for the following Friday (his daughter is in a school musical and he wasn't getting her until Saturday that weekend due to rehearsals).  As promised, he came out my way. We met at my apartment and then went to dinner.  We saw "American Hustle" afterwards, and then I invited him in.  I wanted more time with him, and in spite of my hopes that a dark movie theater would embolden him, he didn't try to hold my hand or anything during the movie.

Inside we talked for about 20 minutes before I turned on the TV just for background noise.  CSI was on, and I absently mentioned this really silly episode as the only one I really remembered.  Lo and behold, it was that very episode on that night, so we watched it and laughed at the silliness of the storyline (It was called "Fur and Loathing" if that gives you any indication!).  It was nice to just sit next to him and laugh and loosen up a bit.  After the episode ended I was talking about something when he randomly kissed me.  Yay!

He's an excellent kisser, and we kissed for awhile, but it was very chaste.  I teased him about not holding my hand in the movie, and he told me that he hadn't wanted to be too forward and ruin it.  I thought that was very sweet, and it reminded me that just because a guy doesn't try to jump me on the first or second date, it doesn't mean he doesn't like me.  In fact, it can also mean the contrary.

He finally left to go home about 2:15 am.  It was raining, and another detail:  He lives in a town about an hour and 15 minutes away from me.  FIGURES!!  He works much closer, but he owns a townhouse about 20 minutes past where I lived with the Angry Ex.   After he left I was literally swirling with butterflies.  I think I did some serious dancing in my bedroom to music that was too loud in my headphones for my own good.

We continued to talk all the time.  From morning until before bedtime, never running out of things to say.  I marveled at this because honestly?  I feel smothered very easily, and I wasn't feeling it here.  He told me that weekend that he wanted to see me again, and since he had his daughter the coming weekend, asked if a weeknight would work.  We decided on this past thursday.

Thursday we met in the middle again.  We had dinner, and then walked around outside in the cold night air for a bit.  Everything around us was closed in the area we were in, so out of desperation for somewhere warm to go, we seriously went to Wegman's (a nice grocery store) and went upstairs to their dining area. We spent the next two hours on a wicker couch just talking and laughing about so many random things.  We were the only ones up there aside from a meandering cleaning person who was eyeing us to make sure we didn't get up to any funny business. We held hands, we flirted, he stole a couple of innocent kisses. Something that on the surface sounds so lame was actually kind of amazing and fun.

We finally left shortly before the store closed at midnight.  We kissed in the parking garage between our two cars for awhile, and it was such blissful finally be able to kiss him like I wanted to again, but to know that we were still in public, and that I had to go.  We finally, finally separated, but wow, was it difficult.

I left that parking garage feeling so many different things, but mostly just HAPPY.  Excited.  Full of good feelings about something dating related for the first time in so long.

We're going out again tomorrow night.  Did I mention that he texted me and asked me about doing something Monday WHILE I was on my way to see him Thursday night?  And that while we were on that wicker couch, we decided that next weekend I'm going out to where he lives to see him on Saturday night?

Yeah.  Three dates down.  Two more on the books.

I have way more to say about this.  I've decided that in the interest of this post not getting too stupidly long, I'm going to contain it to the factual events as they occurred, and I'll do another post for everything else.  So concludes the long overdue, long percolating, butterfly-inducing update.

** Still thinking of what I want to call him on here.  ;-)

Monday, January 6, 2014

Twenty Fourteen

So I wasn't too sad to wave goodbye to 2013.  I'm an even numbers kind of girl to begin with, and thirteen is just not a great number to me.  2014, or TWENTY FOURTEEN, just sounds so much better to me.  I feel more hopeful about this newly landed year than I have about years past.

I rang in my new year in a very low key fashion.  My gf, A and I went out to dinner at TGI Friday's of all places, as we were trying to avoid all the NY's crowds.  The food was weirdly tasty, and the host and servers were all in a jovial, entertaining, friendly mood for the New Year.  We indulged in fried green beans, burgers, and fries, and it was awesome.  :-)  After dinner we went back to my apartment.  We had Bailey's to drink and watched the various NYE coverage specials on TV, focusing primarily on the CNN Anderson Cooper & Kathy Griffin pairing because they are hilarious together.  We also shared laughs over our various online dating messages received that night, and mused about the potentials in the queue.

When midnight rolled around, we cheered the New Year's with laughter and a general sentiment that 2014 might be a good year.  No, there were no romantic midnight kisses to ring in the new year, but I have to tell you....that was the best NY's I've had in a few years.  I spent the evening having a stupidly good time with a really good girlfriend, and things just felt like they were where they should be for right now.

I don't believe in the concept of NY's resolutions.  I am just setting a goal to have a good, happy, healthy 2014, to remain positive even in the face of cynical life experiences, to keep my mind open, and my heart open.  I want to travel more, even if it's just around the continental US again like I have done the last couple of years.  Who's up for a visitor/a trip?  :-)

In other news, I did have a date on Friday night.  It went well, and we have decided to get together again this Friday.  No set plan for the evening yet, but at least its on the calendar.  If it goes well, I'll coin a nickname for him.  I've been reticent to offer up nicknames on the few people I've met in recent months because it seems pointless!

Aside from that, I had the usual holiday resurfacing of the ghosts of relationships past.  They ran the gamut from old ex-boyfriends from long term relationships (M, Angry Ex) to Baltimore Brad, to a dating site guy I never actually met.  So glad all of these morons think of me around the holidays.  Cheers!  ;-)

Time to wrap up for now, but I hope to be back more often with more regular posts in coming weeks now that the holidays are over with.  In the meantime, going to stay warm and cross fingers for some good dating luck and life luck in the new year!  Happy 2014!