Thursday, March 26, 2015

Back to work

So my personal day was a big old success. I got so much done!  I have clean and sparkly teeth, my car got an oil change and a tire rotation, I got my chiro appt. in, returned all my Comcast nonsense.  I also sold a small end table via Craigslist, packed a final carload of stuff up, and managed to go to DSW and Payless, too.  ;-)  Weirdly, DSW let me down and Payless was the winner of the day.  I came home with a cute pair of simple, black flats and a pair of comfy, black, peep-toe heels.

I finally got back to Casa Blue around 3:30 and got everything unloaded, then got a load of laundry in.  I sat down to relax and DUN DUN DUN...discovered I had two missed calls and a text from my supervisor.  She wanted me to call her, and in the end I had to log in to work to handle something briefly.  I was super annoyed because a) IT WAS MY DAY OFF b) she just wanted me to confirm her understanding of something because she no longer has any confidence in her ability to do what I do and c) I had truly JUST sat down after making several trips up and down the stairs to unload things, and all I wanted was a single hour of relaxation before BF got home.

I ended up getting about half an hour before he got home, during which time I multi-tasked by re-doing my poor, thrashed nails and watching some DVR.  Sigh.  I did get another couple of hours of Bluemoon time after BF and I exchanged hellos and day catch-ups, then we re-convened at about 7:30 for dinner (homemade chicken tortilla soup that had been in the crockpot all day).  We capped off the night with a visit to Sweet Frog for some frozen yogurt...yum!  Definitely a worthy reward for a full day.

I truly cannot wait until this move is complete.  We're so close!  It's going to be a busy couple of days, but luckily tonight is an exception.  We are going to see the 30th anniversary re-release of "The Breakfast Club" in the theater tonight. :-)  BF has (GASP) never seen it!  I'm excited to be the one to show him this classic John Hughes movie.  He's picking me up from a Park & Ride tonight so we can get some food in advance, and it will be a nice little weekday date night!

Tomorrow night he'll pick up J on the way home, and we'll have her until Wednesday due to her spring break.  Unfortunately we will be spending probably 30 minutes (I hope) getting the furniture from the spare bedroom into the garage in preparation for Saturday.  It's just a double bed, a small bedside table, a horribly ugly lamp and a small dresser, but fun!  ;-)

Saturday morning will be an early waking day since we're picking up U-Haul at 8 am in town.  We'll bring it back to the house and load up the furniture we'd moved out the night before, as well as some other nonsense in BF's garage (old bed frame, another super old mattress set, etc.).  We're going to get rid of all of that before going to my Alexandria apartment.

So far I have one woman coming to see and likely purchase the couch, and I'm still working on getting rid of the dresser and TV stand.  I've had a ton of interest in the dresser, but no commitments yet.  This morning some guy emailed me to say he was interested, but had no way to transport it,and asked if I could deliver it.  UMMMM.....NO!!!

Anyway, hopefully we'll get these things sold that day, and then get the rest of the Alexandria apartment loaded up in the U-Haul.  I'll turn in my keys before we go and aside from financial obligations, I'll be done with that apartment!  Back to Casa Blue to unload (boo!!!  so many stairs...) and then to return the U-Haul.  I imagine Saturday night we'll be pretty exhausted.  Sunday I plan to work on getting the new things organized...books on the bookshelves, out of season clothes in the spare bedroom dresser, etc.  I will feel so much better when that's all done!

After this weekend I'm hopeful the only things left to do will be to get all the art hung and to get a new nightstand.  I'm relegating mine to the spare bedroom because it matches my bedroom set that will be going in there and does not match the master bedroom set.

Also, once this is all done I'll no longer have to talk about it ALL THE TIME.  I'm sure we'll all be relieved!  :-)

Anyway, that's all she wrote on this subject for today, so I'm going to wrap up.  Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Personal Day

I'm taking a Personal Day from work tomorrow.  I simply have too many things to get taken care of that cannot get accomplished after work  hours or on the weekend.  My To Do list is too long and it's stressing me out, so I'm taking Wednesday off to get things done!  It's going to be a really busy morning for sure, and probably a fairly busy afternoon.

I will start out my day driving to Alexandria to meet someone at 7:45 to sell a small table I currently have on Craigslist.  After that is an 8:20 dental cleaning, a 9:30 oil change appointment at my dealership and a 10 am chiropractor appt. that I'll go to while waiting for my car.  I will also be going to Comcast to return all of my cable and internet equipment and pay my final bill, going to my apartment to get what is hopefully the final load of things for my car and taking some measurements of the couch I'm selling since I dropped the ball on that during the original posting.

On the route between Alexandria and home I'm likely going to pit stop at one or more of the following places:  DSW, Payless, JC Penney.  I have some Rewards money at JC Penney which will likely be spent on socks because I'm glamorous like that, and the other places are because I'm having an urge for some new shoes.  Back in the town of Casa Blue I will be venturing to the Town Office Building in order to trade in my Alexandria parking sticker for a Town of Casa Blue sticker.

I hope to be done with all of this and home relaxing before BF gets home from work around 5 pm. We'll see how successful I am!  :-)  Seriously, though, if I get all of this done (and manage to get some laundry in when I get home), I will be able to cross so many things off my to do list.  Plus, I will get a lot of my Alexandria appointments done and should be set for awhile.  I really like my dentist and my car dealership, so since they are usually infrequent visits, I'd like to try to keep them.

No big plans for tonight.  We were supposed to get chicken tortilla soup ready to make for tonight's dinner, but forgot, so we're going rogue and doing waffles for dinner since it's one of the two "Waffle Days" (though admittedly the less noteworthy one here in the US).  Beyond that I'm sure it will just be a low key night since I have so much to do tomorrow.  I'm super bummed I don't even get to sleep in.  :-p

These next few weeks are going to be pretty busy.  This weekend is moving day on Saturday, and we'll have BF's daughter, J from Friday until Wednesday in light of her spring break.  We're hoping to see Insurgent soon, and I'd like to swing it this weekend, but who knows if we'll make it.  The following weekend is a nicely empty weekend, and also Easter.  We likely won't have J and will just do a little nicer dinner than usual.  Weekend after that is my short Saturday-Monday trip to KC for a girlfriend's wedding, then the weekend after that is BF's in the works "Guys" trip weekend.  Five of them are driving five hours to one guy's family cabin at some lake, where I suspect the weekend will consist of fishing, drinking, eating and bullshitting LOL.

I'm currently making plans to fill this wide open weekend.  It will be the first time I've stayed by myself at that house, so that will be interesting!  My initial inclination was to pack the weekend totally full of plans out of the house, but then I my apartment I loved an occasional night or weekend on my own.  I liked ordering in Chinese, spending the whole night in yoga pants and a t-shirt watching DVR or Netflix.  So I may compromise and take some advantage of a wide open social schedule, but not make a desperate effort to fill every minute.  Right now I just have lunch plans with a friend I've not seen in ages on Saturday and brunch plans on Sunday.  I suspect one evening will end up with plans, even if those plans include roping a girlfriend or two out to the new place, and one night may be more low key.  To be determined!

Can't wait for the end of this work day.  Looking forward to getting to my bus and spending the ride home reading or just zoning out.  Finished another book ("Little Black Lies" by Sandra Black) and will be deciding on the next one soon, as I have a few on my Kindle to read.  They include:

The Girl with a Clock for a Heart-Peter Swanson
Life Drawing-Robin Black
The One That Got Away-Simon Wood

I also have the audio book of "The Kind Worth Killing" (also by Peter Swanson).

Just watched the Girls season finale on HBO Go last night and loved it.  Thought it was one of the better season finales they've had.  Currently wanting to watch "The Jinx", while also needing to catch the episode of Grey's Anatomy from two weeks ago b/c my cable was messed up.  I'll have to get that one via On Demand.  Finally, weirdly intrigued by this new show I've read about called iZombie.  Didn't initially sound like my kind of thing (even though I love The Walking Dead), but when I read it was done by the Veronica Mars people, I was hooked.  Hoping to check out the first episode sooon to see what I think!  Speaking of TWD, super excited about the season finale this sunday.  90 minutes of awesome!

Anyway, now I'm just rambling and procrastinating.  Back to work I go!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Margarita, please

I'm in a better mood than I was this morning, which is a plus.  The main issue now is that I'm just feeling a bit frazzled and discombobulated about handling the rest of this move.  I feel like there are so many loose ends to tie up and still so much to do, and it's hard to get all the puzzle pieces to fit together.

First thing tomorrow BF is dropping one of his cars off for an inspection before we head out.  We get to load my car with some garage stuff of his that we have to take to the dumpster.  Yay?  After that we're going to the apartment.We'll squish as much as we can in my CR-V, but I'm hoping to return all my Comcast cable equipment prior to that and cancel my service.  I also want to make a Goodwill trip to donate my pots, pans, dishes, flatware and miscellaneous kitchen gadgets, along with anything else that I decide against keeping.  Those trips will come first in order to clear out as much stuff as possible, and I also need to take my couple of heavy bags of books to the book donation bin right next to my apartment to get rid of those.  These chores will be a lot easier to handle with two of us there!

After those detours and loading up my car, we'll head back to Casa Blue, where we'll get the joy of unloading everything.  Once I see how much stuff is left after the trip tomorrow, I'll decide if I need to make another trip this weekend, or if I can just get the rest next Saturday.

Among other things to figure out:

Real moving truck day is a week from Saturday.  That's also the day I'm handing in my keys to the leasing office.  In between this weekend and next Saturday I need to get my move-out clean scheduled, as that's one thing I do NOT want to mess with.  Unfortunately due to timing issues I will likely need to get the move out clean prior to the actual moving of the furniture, but that should be fine.  This week's list of things to do will also include moving the current guest bed, dresser and nightstand out of the guest BR and to the garage to make room for my things coming next weekend. I also need to book the U-Haul by the end of the day Saturday just to have it on the books.  Waiting to see how much stuff I have left after our trip to decide between 9' cargo van and 10' truck.  Don't want to spend the extra money if I don't need to!

Other decisions to make include:

Gym situation-
Option 1: Cancel old gym because of no locations by new home. Keep using current trainer, which will require twice weekly sessions over my lunch break at the office.  This means mid-day showers, overly long lunch breaks, and a lot of rescheduling likely due to work obligations.  Work out at work gym or use home elliptical and weights the rest of the week.

Option 2: Cancel old gym, join new gym that costs three times as much a month for a smaller gym. Ditch old trainer. Increased gym cost alleviated by not paying trainer anymore.  No trainers.  Just me, new gym, home elliptical and weights.

Option 3: Join new, more pricy gym and enlist new trainer at same cost  as current trainer.

I really like the accountability a trainer provides, but honestly?  I've been working with a trainer for a couple of years now.  I know what to do.  If properly motivated I can do this on my own now.  WILL I????  This new gym is $60/month and my current gym is $20.  :-/

A few weeks ago all I wanted was to get to the first friday of my first week in BFland.  Now all I want is to get to a week from Sunday when I'm officially DONE with that apartment, aside from the residual financial obligations.

Right now on this friday I'm just counting down until 4 pm.  We're having a March Madness themed happy hour celebration for the office that starts then, and they'll have basketball on TVs in the room, plus a bunch of bar type food and a margarita machine.  You better believe a margarita or two are in my future!  :-)

Things That Do Not Impress Me

It's Friday, but I'm in a funk.  It's probably at least partially a result of going to bed too late and getting seriously insufficient sleep.  Nonetheless, here I am, grumpy on a Friday.

Today's list of things that do not impress me include:

  • Snow on the first day of spring.  It's not really sticking, but STILL.
  • Getting lectured by our General Counsel for a problem that resulted from him being too lazy to respond to an email of mine ALL WEEK LONG.  I proceeded without hearing from him because I was overdue for a deadline because of him, and he got all up in a tizzy and really pissed me off.
  • BF took today off because he was going to stop accruing vacation time if he didn't take a day. This, btw, is a problem I will never have.  He planned to stay up to watch the Georgetown B-Ball game, which was supposed to start shortly before ten and ended up getting delayed until almost eleven.  BF is NOT a late night person, so he prepared by getting a Red Bull and indulging in that to keep himself awake.  
I have zero interest in basketball and did have to get up today, so I adjourned to the bedroom to watch TV shortly before 11.  COULD NOT fall asleep, and probably didn't do so until around 1 am.  Woke up at 2:40 to see that BF was still not in bed.  Went down to basement, he'd passed out with the TV on at some point.  Tried to wake him, but he was out.  Went to bed and figured he'd get up eventually to come to bed.  He did not.  He was still asleep in the basement when I left the house this morning.  Not impressed.  Seriously, not impressed.  He JUST texted me this morning to declare the obvious, that he fell asleep on the couch.  Because I am pissy and grumpy I have nothing nice to say right now, so I'm choosing to leave his message unread and not respond for the time being.  Grr.

I hate that I'm in such a lousy mood on a Friday.  I look really cute at least.  Silver lining?  Right now I'm just in a sour mood and not fit for public consumption.  Hopefully something will turn this day around.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Mid-Week Miscellany

The last two days have been sunny and lovely.  We grilled our dinner on Monday night, for God's sake.  Today it is currently 37 and chilly.  Friday we are likely to get WET SNOW in the morning. Can winter just be over yet??

This week has felt like such a little snapshot of domesticity at Casa Blue (my new name for my new abode, since it's no longer just BFland!).  We sat down and planned out our meals on Sunday, shopped accordingly, and have been dining accordingly each night.  Monday night we made buffalo turkey burgers with corn on the cob on the grill, last night was homemade fish and chips for St. Patrick's Day.  Tonight is baked mustard crusted chicken with roasted asparagus and brown rice and tomorrow is pasta with chicken sausage and garlic bread.  I thought I would HATE meal planning, but cooking dinner together is really turning out to be a highlight each evening.  :-)  It's something we've always enjoyed doing on occasion, though mostly on the weekends.  I love that we now get to do it all the time!

My commuting continues to be an adventure.  Since I get in so early, I'm heading out five minutes early each day because it really helps me get home quicker.  The weird thing is that there are so many buses going out in my general direction at this bus stop in quick succession that it can lead to some confusion.  I got there in time for the 5:11 bus, so when one rolled up that looked right, I boarded it. The driver announced that this bus did not stop at a certain park and ride that the bus I usually ride does, and I knew something was amiss.  I covertly checked my bus schedule, not wanting to look like the newbie I still am on this ride, and tried to figure out what bus I was actually on.  It stopped in Rosslyn, which my other bus doesn't do, so I was all confused.  I spent the rest of the ride being stubborn and not asking and just hoping it got me to my Park & Ride.  Luckily it did....I think I just ended up on a different bus & route because the bus was running about ten minutes late and showed up when my regular bus would have.  At least I have a lot of options to get home!  It's amazing how leaving work five minutes earlier can result in me getting home 15 minutes earlier.  I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but it really makes a huge difference mentally for some reason.

Tonight I have to stop at the local dry cleaners that I'm trying for the first time to pick up some things I dropped off last weekend.  Hopefully they did a good job, as they were super nice and friendly when I went in, and gave me a discount for being a first time customer.

Last night, as mentioned, we made homemade fish and chips for St. Patrick's Day.  BF indulged in some Guinness for the occasion and I chose the Bailey's on the rocks route instead.  ;-)  I felt like such a rebel drinking during the week LOL.  Plus, I drink so rarely now that I'm a real lightweight. Two drinks over the course of a couple of hours had me feeling good!  Luckily it was the right kind of tipsy where I felt perfectly fine this morning.  When I got home BF had no green on, so I was obligated to pinch him.  He ended up putting on a really corny, fun St. Patrick's Day tie that was previously his dad's just to be festive and avoid further pinching.  It was quite a sight, him in khaki shorts, a white t-shirt and a green shamrock & leprechaun laden tie.  :-)  Love him!

So my Mom's birthday is Monday.  I mailed off her card last night and got a Sephora gift card in the mail for her.  She has become rather addicted to Sephora, but always expresses guilt about spending money there.  I figure this way she has some guilt-free spending!  I'm also sending a book from her favorite author via Amazon, so everything should arrive before or on her birthday.  I'm pretty pleased with my choices and think she'll be quite happy with everything.

I'm trying to resist the siren song of Etsy, as there are some really cute things on there, like usual.  I think I'm an earring addict!  I'm going to have to get another earring stand to hold all of these earrings! It's dangerous for me to even browse on that site.  :-)

Anyway, I guess that's all I know in this particular moment.  Happy Wednesday!

Monday, March 16, 2015

The Devil is in the Details

Today you get two posts from me!  ;-)

After some evaluation this weekend, I went ahead and emailed my contact at the leasing office for my apartment to notify him of my intent to vacate as of March 31st.    It's an early lease termination, so there's no real notice required, as I'll be paying the lease breakage fee.  I will compensate for this expense by not paying BF any rent until I've satisfied this financial obligation.  Yay.

Basically I decided that there is no real value in waiting another three weeks to give the notice, as I'd originally planned to do it after a month of cohabitation.  Everything involves a risk, and this is a risk I'm willing to take.  Beyond that, I don't want to be paying for an empty apartment longer than I need to.  The termination option I chose is to pay a fee plus up to two months rent, unless my apartment gets rented out quicker than that, in which case I'd only pay for the time it was empty plus the fee. It's not ideal, but my lease JUST RENEWED, and we were poor planners, so this is the hand we're dealing with here.  :-)  I guess I figure that when most people move, they don't keep their apt. on hand in case it doesn't work out.  Like I said:  Yes, this is a gamble, but it is a gamble I feel good about!

Anyway, I am waiting for a response back from my contact to see how to proceed.  This gives me two weekends to get my remaining belongings out of the apartment, and I also gave the Apt. guy the option of going in at any point to assess what work needs to be done beyond the standard painting and carpet replacement.  I don't think there should be much, as I intend to have a move-out clean done after I'm finished there and I didn't cause any damage that wasn't paint or carpet related, and those were just normal wear and tear.

The next step for me is to get out to the apartment this weekend to get as much of my remaining belongings as possible that will fit into my CR-V.  I'm planning to get all of my books boxed and packed as well as all of my art from my walls and hopefully the storage bins from my basement.

I will also be getting pictures of the items I plan to sell on Craiglist so I can get those listings up by Saturday night or Sunday morning.  I want to have the following week to get them sold, with pickups the following weekend.  Right now the definite sell items include my couch, a spare dresser and a small wooden end table.  I'm also probably going to list the set of four chairs that came with my dining table that I never even unboxed (I kept my old chairs instead).  I'm also probably going to sell the entertainment stand from my living room.

Right now I'm likely keeping my dining table/chairs.  I just got it this last year, though it already has a couple of scratches (Thanks, CAT).  I imagine I'll sell it eventually, but at this moment, I'm probably keeping it like a safety blanket.  :-o

The real issue here is this:  How do I find the line between how much to keep "JUST IN CASE" and how much to get rid of?

I don't want to plan for the worst case scenario, but I also don't want to be blind to the possibilities. When I left Angry Ex's house I had to rebuild a lot of my life, and I'm not just talking in terms of friendships and emotions.  Luckily I had some things in storage (ie my bed), but I had to get a couch, all new end tables, miscellaneous furniture.  It was expensive on top of all the usual expenses of a new place.

Where do I draw that line when it comes to my furniture and my dishes and my pans and my vacuum?? I know it sounds crazy silly, but it's something I'm really trying to figure out.  What do you think?

Domestic Bliss

One week in and I am really loving this new living situation.  Truly.

I had a lovely weekend.  I've decided that Fridays are easily my favorite commute day, as the bus was emptier both ways, and on the way home Friday I had an empty seat next to me and behind me, so I got to recline AND managed to catch an earlier bus home.  SCORE!

Also, my Drs. office called late Friday afternoon to let me know that my test results came back, CIN1, which was the best case scenario.  It just means that I'm back to the Pap every six months, which is fine by me.  That's what I'm used to, anyway.  ;-)

Friday night I spent the evening chilling with BF and his daughter, J.  We watched several episodes of the new Netflix Show "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt", which I loved. Saturday we ran a couple of quick errands, then in the afternoon J and I did home manicures while finishing out the Kimmy Schmidt season.  It was J's half weekend with us, so she got picked up at 6pm.  We went out to dinner at a new to us place nearby, and it was a  grand success.  Great food, good drinks, good atmosphere!  We followed it up with a visit to Target for a couple of things, and then went home and baked a delicious chocolate chip cookie pie for dessert.  Yum!

Sunday was lounging around in the morning, cleaning out the garage in preparation for my storage items coming soon, and getting a roast in the crockpot for dinner.  We also planned out our meals for the week and went shopping for everything needed to make them.  I did some laundry, we did some other house chores, and we wrapped up the night watching "The Walking Dead" in bed together.

I know this is not glamorous.  I know I'm not out at the bars or the clubs or the shows of the world. But I LOVE our life together.  I told BF as much this weekend.  I love doing the normal, mundane things together.  We had fun cleaning out the garage for god's sake, LOL.  I'm just so happy to be living together, combining our lives.  I have such a good feeling about this, and I really feel like we have taken the next step in our lives together.

Beyond that, I think it's already helping us make small strides towards the future.  I think that we are both seeing what our life together could be like, and liking it.  Just this weekend BF said a couple different variations of things about "when we're married" or "when we get married", and last night we saw something silly about an old couple who'd been together for a long time and kind of hated each other as a result and he said, "I hope we're not like that when we're old!"  He was kidding, but it's just nice to see that, even moreso than before, he's seeing the same future I with us together.

Don't go getting any ideas, though----there is no imminent proposal coming, LOL.  I wouldn't be surprised if that were a year off!  The point is that we've started down this road and so far, it's a good road.  So far, we're working well together.  So far, he's completely assuaging any concerns I had about making the same mistake I did with Angry Ex.  This is so much better.  :-)

Today was one of BF's every other week telework days.  He was still in bed when I left, but we hugged and kissed goodbye, and he reminded me about my lunch in the fridge.  My bus ride in was so quiet and lovely, and there was the most gorgeous sunrise to watch as we drove along.  I felt peaceful, happy, and thankful for the choices I've made to be where I am right now.  I made the right decision.  :-)

Friday, March 13, 2015


So Artboy IMed me today.  We make mostly idle chit chat every now and again and probably against my better judgment, I've vented to him about relationship frustrations a couple of times.  In rare unicorn moments he's able to be a decent source of advice, or at least listening.  Anyway, I'd told him in the last couple of months about the frustrations I was having with BF and the living situation.  I noted how BF wanted me to move out there and how I couldn't fathom it, even though I'd been willing to do the trial.  I told him how we'd discussed living somewhere in the middle and how our definitions of the middle were different.  He was sympathetic and on my side.

Well, after not providing any updates since, he offhandedly asked if I was "going out to the boonies tonight".  I said yes and then gave him a half truth, telling him I was actually staying out there this week to see how it actually was.  His response was, "Oh man, way to cave."

The subsequent conversation included him telling me, "It's always a good idea to do what the man wants, he is more important after all" and "He has always lived out there, your life experiences don't matter."  HUGE waves of sarcasm, obviously. I tried (stupidly) to explain the logic of it, saving money to get a place closer in together eventually.  His response?  "Getting your girlfriend to do what you want:  Priceless."

Sigh.  I don't know why I bother with him.  Truly.  What I mostly hate is that his comments give me moments of pause, like...Does everyone think I caved?  DID I cave?? I made a big deal about how I'd never live in BFland because it was so far out from my work and now here I am, living there.  I promised myself after Angry Ex that I would never give up my own place and inconvenience myself to accommodate someone else again.  I promised myself that I wouldn't live with someone again until I had a ring on my finger.  And I am.

This is something I've really struggled with.  I really hate Artboy for somehow knowing that weak spot and exploiting it.  I pointed out to him the irony of his sudden advocacy for me when the bulk of our time together was spent with him wanting to do what he wanted on his schedule.  That's something I rationalized to myself the entire time we were hanging out, but that's the truth of it.  Most of it was on his terms.  Ugh.

It's so easy to default to the idea of a relationship as a power game, and in that framework, it's so easy to feel like I'm losing the game by moving out there.  I have thoughts every single day since we started this process along this same line.  Did I give in?  Did I sacrifice my own preferences for someone else's sake?  Am I giving up everything while he's giving up nothing?  What if this backfires and in the end there's no real intent to move forward together?

I didn't tell Artboy any of that, of course.  Instead I simply replied, "You're full of it.  I appreciate the concern, but I think you underestimate me."

The thing of it, though?  This relationship DOESN'T feel like a power struggle even when I try to make it one.  I DON'T feel like this is going to backfire, or that he's misleading me about his intent. I DO feel like this is someone I can see spending my indefinite future with. Most importantly, I don't feel like I'm giving EVERYTHING up.  I'm giving up an apartment. Convenience to my friends and my office and other things.  But I'm GAINING things, too.  I'm gaining the pleasure of his company every single day.  I'm gaining the freedom of the space and amenities of his house and the ability to make it feel like my own.  I'm gaining progress in this relationship.  And again, the BFland aspect isn't forever.  We will move in closer eventually, though it won't be as close as Alexandria.  But after this, anything will seem easier!

Last night I did my own thing and BF did his own thing, and we came together at the end of the night in bed and just laid there talking and laughing and being silly for an hour.  I felt like I was overflowing with happiness and love and the feeling that I was making the right choice.  His home already feels more like our home, and it's been less than a week of cohabitation.  When I was at my apt. yesterday I didn't feel sad about not living there.  It felt like a place I lived once that was good to me, but that I was moving past.  I was excited to get HOME.  To BFland.  I even (GASP)
had thoughts about how much I prefer the bus commute over the Metro already.  Do I wish the bus times were more convenient?  Definitely.  But the actual commute?  So much easier!

I also know that in the bigger picture, I shouldn't give a damn what anyone else thinks about what I'm doing.  I'm the only one that knows my relationship.  No one else deals with the joys and consequences of my decisions.  Most importantly, everyone's advice on anything comes colored with the bias and shading of their own experiences.

I think it's possible the only real lesson to be gleaned from this post is this:

Artboy doesn't know me.
He doesn't know what I want, need, deserve, and didn't care much when he was actually in my life.
Therefore, Artboy should no longer be given windows into my personal life because he will pollute it with his negativity and emotionally manipulate me at any opportunity.

And on that note...I'm going to get back to work.  Close out the chat screen with Artboy.  Get through the last couple hours of my work day, and then go home to the person I love.  <3

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Come on, Spring!

So the weather this morning is so mild and lovely!  It's such a nice change after this long, cold, snowy winter.  I know we're not out of the woods yet entirely, but hopefully the good weather days will be more plentiful than the bad!

I met with my trainer yesterday over my lunch break.  I hadn't seen him in two weeks, so it was a hard workout, but totally worth it.  I was exhausted afterwards, but I felt amazing when I got home to BF.  I was happy, energetic and in a good mood.  Working out really is such a good mood booster! We also determined that this was a workable option, so I'll still be working out with him twice a week like before, just at my building gym instead of the one by my apt.  I'll use my lunch hours for the workouts.  So pleased with that!

So because of my appointments this week, I decided the easiest way to deal with everything location-wise was to get up this morning and drive to Alexandria.  I showered there (with a bag packed full of stuff since my apt. is basically empty except for furniture!) and commuted into work from there.  I will leave at 2 today to get home and out the door for acupuncture later this afternoon.  Tonight I've decided to maximize my Alexandria time so I'll be running some fun errands with my friend, A, and then coming back to sleep at the apt.

Tomorrow morning is my Dr. appt. at 8:30, so I'll get that over with then head into DC for the remainder of my work day.  In order to balance out the mojo for the day, I'm aiming to negate the blah aspect prompted by the Dr. appt. by making a relaxing, pampering hair appt. for after work.  It's time for spring highlights and a trim!  Now I'm actually excited for Thursday.  :-)

After the hair appt. I'll commute back to the apt. in Alexandria, pack up a few additional things I ran out of room for last time, and then drive to BF's house.  I probably won't get there until 9 or 9:30, but BF has plans to go out to dinner with some guy friends, anyway, so I'm not missing anything!  On the upside, this saves me the need to come back to Alexandria this weekend for the stuff I'm grabbing on this trip.  Silver lining?  Ha!

My apartment is so weird right now.  Empty closet, empty bathroom except for what I brought.  Very strange!  I will get a chance to get some more stuff donated and thrown out, too, I think, which is good.  Every little bit helps!

I got the pleasure (?!?) of returning to a Metro commute to work today and again tomorrow, and I realized something....ignoring the timing issues of my new commute (ie I wish there was a later bus so I didn't get into the office 30 mins. early), I prefer the new commute!  The straight bus ride is so much easier, so much more relaxing.  I've got the option of sleeping, reading, watching shows on my ipod, listening to audiobooks or music.  I don't have to worry about going from the bus to the Metro. It's just simpler!  And at least for the time being, I'm kind of enjoying my walk to and from the bus each day.  I love that I'm getting 2 miles of walking in every day automatically, especially when my longer days will likely make it harder to get to the gym.

Speaking of the gym-still planning to check out the local one this weekend.  Wanted to wait a week to get settled in and used to things in case they give me a free week trial or something.  I'll check it out and decide what to do about my other gym membership from there.  It's super cheap, $20/month, but not worth keeping if I'm never going to use it.

Got my new shower caddy and drying racks for BF's house.  Got some mail there yesterday, too (Birchbox!).  All of these small touches are really making it feel like my own place, which is awesome.  I truly love coming home to him, too, and the two cats.  I like knowing that on Friday I'll get to go straight there and arrive before 7 when usually Fridays I don't roll in until 8 because I go to my apt., get my stuff and then head out.  It's a new routine for sure, but I think we're off to a good start.  :-)  (YES, I know it's very early.  I just have a really good feeling about this!)

Anyway, better get to work.  Lots to get done before my early departure today, especially since I'll also be in late tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

It's Always Something

So an already stressful few weeks turned more stressful yesterday afternoon when I got a call from my GYN office about my Pap test results.  Shocker....abnormal results again.  Low grade cells, blah blah blah.  This is seriously probably my fifth time having to go in for a colposcopy and likely biopsy as a result of this stuff.  I'm not happy about it, it ruined my afternoon, but that's life.  So I'm going in Thursday morning for that super fun appointment and I get the joy of going into the office after. Cheers?

I'm also leaving work early tomorrow to go see my acupuncturist.  I've made sure to see her prior to all follow up tests I've had in the past, and I'm not going to break the streak...even if my supervisor basically told me she thinks acupuncture is essentially a placebo when I asked for the time off yesterday.  I know some people think it's nonsense, but I really believe in it, and it has helped me with a variety of issues over the years.  So I'll leave at 2 pm tomorrow so I can get to a late afternoon acupuncture session.

Yesterday was just a really long day.  Between a horrible night of sleep Sunday night, Daylight Saving Time and the new schedule, which involves a 5:40 wake up time (!!!), I was exhausted from start to finish.  The bus ride in the morning was actually not bad at all.  Nice bus, cushy seats that recline if you want, lights off until you're in DC, but with individual reading lights if you desire.  I didn't mind that commute actually.  I've decided that as long as the weather is semi-suitable, I'm going to walk from my bus drop off to my office, which is about a mile.  I won't be opposed to getting two miles of walking in every day!

Evening commute was not bad either, it just felt longer because it was at the tail end of a long day.  I have to really motor after work to get to the bus stop in time, so that's exciting/stressy.  Ha!  I got home and was just truly spent, both emotionally and physically.  BF greeted me upon my arrival and gave me a big hug.  I went upstairs to change and found a really lovely little vase of flowers on my dresser.  It made me smile and I was reminded again how lucky I am, and the real reason I've made this big change.  I love coming home to him!

We made a nice dinner last night, talked some, and then I decompressed by watching The Bachelor finale (I know, for shame!) and he did his own thing, and then we went to bed.  I got a much better night of sleep, which was awesome.  Waking up this morning was easier, although still very early.  I guess I will have to get used to going to bed a little earlier to balance out this shifting schedule of mine.

My trainer is coming to the gym in my building today for a session.  Basically he's going to test out the drive and the parking to see if it's feasible for him to train me once or twice a week here.  It's not super awesome for me because we're training over my lunch hour, which means I'll be showering at work, in the middle of the day, but I've got to do what I've got to do!  I'm not sure he'll commit beyond this one session, anyway, honestly.  If that's the case, I'll either find a trainer at the gym I'm going to check out this weekend in BFland, or finally be put to the test on applying what I've learned!

Really, this week just feels super hectic.  :-o  I'm already desperately looking forward to the weekend!

Anyway, that's today's update.  Tons to do at work today, so I'm going to get to it.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Moving Day - Phase 1

Phase one of my move to BF's house begins tonight.  :-o :-o

Thanks to a snow day yesterday, I got a lot done.  We were all pretty sure the office would be closed based on the weather forecast, so I definitely gambled and stayed up pretty late on Wednesday night. I've been trying to get through my remaining DVR because the plan is to put my cable on hold during this first month while I'm making sure this is a go plan.  

I managed to get a ton loaded into my car yesterday at various points.  I looked like a nutter loading my car in the middle of a snowstorm, but I wanted to get as much done as possible.  All that I have left are the things that couldn't be left in the cold car overnight, so I'll get those tonight.  My car is going to be stuffed to the brim, I tell you.  I hope I can find a place for everything at BF's house!!  It never seems like as much stuff as it really turns out to be when you're actually moving it.  

I got rid of a ton of stuff and dropped it off for donation Wednesday night, and also got a bunch of trash out.  By last night I ended up with another growing donation pile that I'll have to deal with the next time I come by the apartment.  How can I get rid of THAT MUCH STUFF and still feel like I have so much to lug over?  :-)

I'm excited in theory I guess, but I'll admit that this mostly just feels like any normal weekend.  It probably will start to set in once I'm getting all of these belongings moved in, and it will definitely set in once the work week starts!  

Regarding the commute, I'm trying to really control my thought process on it.  It's weird because when I just think about things in a big picture, whole day sense, it doesn't seem like anything is going to be hugely different.  It's only when I sit down and look at the nitty gritty of the bus schedules and when I'll need to get up, when I'll get home do I feel discouraged.  So I'm trying to not over-analyze the commute and instead focus on the positives:

Morning Commute:
I can sleep, or at least rest for an hour every morning.  If time is really crunched and I want to be able to get up as late as possible, I can be that person doing my makeup on the bus.  ;-)  I can read if I want, I can listen to music, whatever.

Evening Commute:
I could get so much reading done!  I could write for an hour every day on this commute home.  I can catnap, I can listen to music, anything.  

I'm honestly just ready to get into this new routine.  I really can't wait for it to be a week from today when I've done this new deal for a week and have an idea of how it really is.  Right now there's just so much uncertainty-where the park and ride is, how early I need to get there to get parked, get to the bus and get a seat on the bus.  Where the bus dropoff is, and which stop will make the most sense for me.  Uncertainty drives me nuts, so I'll be really glad to get this big thing figured out!

Anyway, this is pretty much all consuming right now.  I look forward to getting settled in and being able to focus on the normal things again.  Wish me luck!

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

The Great Apartment Purge of 2015

God, I love organizing.  I really do.  I love straightening things, making sense of things, finding homes for things.  I really love the part of moving that requires you to re-evaluate all of your belongings and whether or not you care about them enough to lug them with you to the new place. I've been doing a lot of that lately!

I got to have some involvement in BF doing this this past weekend at his house, but ultimately these were his things and his decisions.  I got to vote on clothes he wavered on, bedding he was keeping just because and other such things.  But it wasn't a true involvement because it was his stuff.

This week at my apartment it's my stuff.  I went through my clothes last week and again last night and culled a large pile of items to donate.  I also went through my purses, my belts, my shoes.  I found two pairs of almost never worn shoes to donate and may end up adding more to the pile later this week.

I plan on going through my DVDs (because honestly?  I rarely watch them, and am more into BluRays when I get anything now).  I want to go through my books (!!!), but I'm not super confident I'll clear much out there. I  do love my books!

I made a preliminary pass through my linen closet where I also store hair, face, body products in an overflow capacity.  I tossed some things out and will make another pass before leaving this weekend. I've made preliminary passes through my kitchen cupboards and will be re-visiting those, as well as all of my kitchen gadgets and pans.

The holy grail of impending organization will come in the form of my storage unit in the basement of the building.  It's not a huge space, but I know it will feel like a lot more when I'm moving, so I want to really be thorough when I go through it.  It's full of things like an old Dyson vacuum that doesn't work well anymore, my dog's old crate, bins of old bedding and towels that got cycled out.  I got a new, giant Rubbermaid bin for my holiday decs as my current one is cracked and unwieldy.  I'm pretty sure there's a bin of books down there, and those may be more ripe for donation since I haven't looked at them in the 3+ years I've lived here.  There are also a bunch of seasonal clothes to go through, and then my favorite....BINS OF NONSENSE.  Seriously, probably at LEAST 2-3 large bins full of miscellany.  :-o

I went to Target again last night, as well as making a stop at Petco for cat food and then HomeGoods. I left HomeGoods with two smallish woven baskets I plan to use for purse and accessory storage in the closet.  They are blue and gray and lovely!  Target resulted in the aforementioned large rubbermaid bin, two larger woven black baskets for t-shirt and miscellaneous overflow clothing storage in the closet and a gray, low height bin for under the sink toiletry storage.

I am such a nerd for being so excited over this stuff.  I am a big nerd for getting a little thrill from the growing pile of donation stuff at my apartment, and I'm excited to be thinning out my belongings just a bit before the move.  It's definitely therapeutic!

So this week was intended to be all about move prep, and I'm doing well so far.  Tonight I'm scheduled for trainer, but keeping an eye on the weather forecast.  We're supposed to get some sleet/freezing rain this afternoon into the early evening, and I'm just waiting to see how the timing actually shakes out and how much there is.  Trainer will definitely cancel if the weather is bad, and I won't blame him!

Wednesday night BF is supposed to come over for our usual (and now last!) weeknight stay at my place together, but again---weather watching.  They're predicting snow, and perhaps a chunk of it, Thursday morning.  If that forecast stays on track, he likely won't come over after work because his cars are terrible in the snow.  I'm not too devastated either way since I'll be with him all the time starting this weekend!  Honestly?  A little part of me keeps thinking that him not being there will give me more time to pack and organize and sort.  :-p

Thursday trainer is scheduled again that night, but...WEATHER.  So basically a lot of my plans this week are waiting on the weather to shake out, but it's OK---any free time I have can be spent getting situated for this weekend!

I ordered my shower caddy and drying racks (so many of my tops are dry flat!) on BB&B today, so they'll be coming to BF's house (OUR HOUSE??) in the next few days.  I'm calling it....aside from groceries, I'm done buying things for this move for now.  :-)  I think I have everything I need!

Anyway, this is a long, rambling post about boring stuff, but talking about all of it is a cheap stand in for doing it, and I'll take it.  Would much rather be at home getting organized, but instead I'm at work, with a 12:30 training on our new, upcoming database that may last my entire afternoon.  Cheers!

Monday, March 2, 2015

Panic like you mean it

Twelve years ago today I got married in Kansas City, Missouri on a blustery, cold day.  I sometimes wonder if there will ever be a year where I don't think of this on this date!  It truly feels like it was another lifetime ago.

Right now my ex-husband is in Mexico with his girlfriend, and the only thing I'm jealous of is the weather!  He missed out on a lot of cold weather and quite an ice storm yesterday.  Lucky bastard.  :-) I'm continually grateful that after everything we've been through we've managed to end up as friends. We had a couple of off periods over the years since the split, but I think that's natural, and we've eventually come back around full circle to where we started in 1997 at Mizzou in the Mark Twain dorm....friends! was a good weekend.  I'll admit, though, it started off a bit rough.  All week long the plan was for me to pack up a portion of my things and bring them with me to BF's house this weekend.  Part two would be  this coming weekend when I would bring anything else I felt was needed for the time being, excluding all furniture items and things like that, which would be dealt with at a later date.  So all week I planned what I would be bringing, I got it together and loaded into my car.

On the hour drive to the house, the panic started to set in.  I'd had a phone convo with my leasing office earlier in the day to discuss the specifics of an early lease termination, and I think that triggered something new in my brain that screamed out..THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.  THIS IS A THING YOU ARE DOING.  I felt the panic bubbling up, so I turned up my music so loud that I could feel it, and concentrated really hard on driving and NOT crying.  My eyes welled up, but I didn't cry, but I definitely felt like I was on the verge of bubbling over.

When I got to the house, I sat in the driveway for a couple of minutes trying to pull myself together.  BF came out and helped me bring my things in, and I kid you not, within 3 minutes of that being complete I was crying in his arms like a crazy person.  Suddenly I was feeling all the things at once----the panic, the fear, the WTF am I doing.  BF was amazing.  Truly.  He held me in his arms and just let me cry.  He led me to the couch so I could sit down because I was on the verge of a panic attack, my breathing out of control and hard to manage.  He rubbed my back, held my hand, gave me some time.  Then we talked.

I told him that even though I **know** he is a different person and this is a different relationship, I couldn't help but have this overwhelming fear that I was making the same mistake I'd made previously with Angry Ex.  The horrifying thought that I could be giving up everything on the basis of false promises and hopes, only to lose it all and have to start over.  The fear of being out of my own place and into someone else's place and wondering if it would ever truly feel like my home. Panic about being away from my friends and the places I know best.  I let it all out because it had been building up and that leasing office convo just crystallized it.

Honestly I think that it was a really healthy, beneficial breakdown as far as breakdowns go.  ;-)  I obviously needed to voice all of that out loud for my own sake, but I think it was also really important for BF to see how big of a deal this is for me, and to understand the full impact of this choice.  I think sometimes it's been easy for him to underestimate how significant of a change this is for me because in his head, I'm moving to a place where I'm welcome to make it my own, where I'm wanted and loved and I'll save money to boot.  Presenting him with an opportunity to really see all the ripples this move is creating in my life is really significant and I think will only make him appreciate and understand this choice even more.

So that was Friday.  :-)  We ended up having a really nice evening once that was resolved.

Saturday was a crazy productive day.  We got up and out of the house early and got a quick breakfast and Starbucks.  After that we went to Lowe's for a few sets of replacement blinds for the house, Bed Bath & Beyond for a few things and then Target.  We came home with a combination of good for the house things and necessary for Bluemoon things. We also went to the grocery store to get food for our weekend meals.

Back at the house the productivity continued.  He put up the new blinds and then went through his closet and some other spots in the bedroom to clear room for me.  We culled a ton of things for donation, including clothes, bedding and other miscellany.  I then got the things I brought organized into the closet and dressers.  While he assembled the over the toilet storage unit for the master bath, I put the new towel hooks, bathroom rug and trash can into place.  The bathroom actually looks a lot nicer now and is definitely more practical for storage and such.

It felt really good to get all of the things I brought put away.  It really was a great start at making me feel more at home, and this was just the very beginning.  Next weekend will be an even bigger step because I'll bring the rest of my clothes (at least the seasonal ones), my dresser stuff (earring and jewelry holders), as well as pictures and knicknacks.  All those little details really make a difference!

Once our productivity streak was done, we spent the evening eating a yummy, easy crock pot dinner (French Dips) and having fun drinks (Colorado Bulldogs!).  It was a really fantastic Saturday.

Sunday we got the ice storm, so we didn't leave the house.  We just had a lazy sunday and made a turkey breast in the crockpot along with some roasted asparagus and roasted red potatoes for dinner, which was all amazing.  Before bed we watched the new Walking Dead episode and called it a night. Unfortunately I slept REALLY poorly because I knew I had to get up super early to drive home.  I could have tried the commute for the first time, but the problem with that is that I'd have to commute back there tonight and then drive home after since I have trainer tomorrow night.  I wanted to free up my Monday night because I have a lot to do this week, so that meant a 5:15 wake up. Boo!

Made good time getting back home, got showered and unpacked and then ice skated my way to the bus stop----no exaggeration.  :-o

My list of things to do this week is huge, but I'm excited to get started.  Tonight's plan is to get to Target (again!) to supplement the things I realized I needed more of or needed to start with.  I would like to get to the gym, too, and there are some things to be done around the apt.  We'll see how the night goes!  In the meantime, it's a work day, so I better get back to it.

Thanks for listening to all of my long, rambling nonsense these days!  :-)