Surrender, Dorothy

Sometimes I feel like I can no longer come up with any good reasons to keep with this whole dating business.  Right now is one of those times.

I'm still stewing over how things played out with E.  How could something go from so good and such potential to this in a week's time?  I allowed myself to break my own rules and I got truly excited about the possibilities, the potential, and I was marveling over the fact that I seemed to have finally found an emotionally mature, functional adult male to spend time with.  And then.  Sure, I'm glad to have found out now versus down the road, but it doesn't take the sting away.  I liked him.  A lot.  And his dismissive parting email makes it pretty obvious that I was more invested than him.  Yeah, I'm cute and very sweet.  Awesome.

I cannot figure men out anymore. 

I went to a meetup event on Friday night.  It's a 30s group for Northern Virginia, and it was my first event with them.  About 20 people showed up for cosmic bowling, and it turned out to be a really good selection of people.  There was a subgroup of about 10 people that I hung out with most, and I actually had a fantastic time.  I was really glad I'd kept my plans to go, especially once I got E's email while I was waiting for everyone to arrive at the bowling alley.  The distraction and all the new faces were welcome. 

I even won a game of bowling with my own personal best score of 149, at least in years and years and years.  I was a happy, flirty, fun social butterfly and it was an ideal way for me to spend the evening.  One of the people I met was a guy who I clicked with fairly instantly.  We ended up talking lots throughout the evening, and at intermittent periods we learned a lot about each other through questions...jobs, pets, family, hobbies, interests.  We were really getting along, and discovered that we are both horror movie fans.  We talked about going to see a movie sometime, and when we all dispersed, he said he would be in touch, as he'd pulled up my profile on meetup.com in front of me to make sure he could find me.

So Saturday afternoon I get a message from him.  He told me he had a great time and thanked me for making his first meetup so fun, and gave me his number.  Told me to let him know when I was up for that movie.

I was super busy all Saturday afternoon, so I replied later that night via text.  You know what I got in reply?  Nothing.  Because men are driving me to the point of insanity and I kind of don't give a shit about rules anymore, I messaged him via meetup late sunday afternoon.  Made a joke about how I'd texted him since he told me he didn't like talking on the phone, and teased him about not replying.  Told him I hoped he had a good weekend, and that was it.  Nothing.

WTF?  He suggested getting together for the movie.  He messaged me.  He gave me his phone number.  And then I actually return the contact and I get dead silence in response?  I give up.  I will never understand WTF is going on in the heads of these men.  Truly. 

That just goes to show that you can meet screwed up, unreliable, ridiculous men just as easily in real life as you can via online dating.  It's not online dating that's messed up, it's men in general.  No matter where you dig them up, they all seem to have a swimming pool of issues in their possession, and I'm tired of being jerked around. 

If you don't want to follow through on seeing me or talking to me again, don't suggest getting together.  Don't give me your number.  Don't act like you like me, or tell me you like me or give me any positive signs of any sort if you just intend to screw me over or ignore me.  I'm not asking you for this stuff, you're OFFERING IT for no reason, apparently with no intention of meaning anything you say.

I'm frustrated.  Really frustrated.  I'm not doing anything wrong here.  I'm not being over the top or needy or ridiculous.  I've been funny and charming and cute and interesting and dynamic, and I am a PRIZE.  A catch. I'm so much better than the bullshit that's been coming my way lately.  When will this bad dating mojo change for the better?