so this is what potential feels like

I'd forgotten what it was like, you know.  Then last night, it all came flooding back, and I found myself in the midst of a moment, appreciating it, feeling wonder at finding this again.  It was a long time coming.

Third date.  I've found that third dates are often a turning point.  I either come out knowing it won't work, or suspecting that it might.  Can you guess where I landed last night?

He picked me up and even came to my door to get me.  It felt oddly old-fashioned and lovely.  I gave him the 30-second tour of my apartment, and he met one of my cats, as the other was in hiding.  We headed out with a general area in mind, deciding to select a restaurant upon arrival.  We decided upon a low key, eclectic diner place that we both like.  We got seated at a solitary table right in front of the main window of the restaurant, in a little alcove of our own.  There was a little pink votive candle on the table.

Every time the waiter came by our table, we were enveloped in laughter.  He just makes me laugh.  Our senses of humor are pretty in sync, and I just find myself laughing and smiling all the time with him.  He looked cute.  Jeans, brown boots, a plaid button down underneath a half zip sweater.  Casual, but adorable. 

After dinner we came back to my apartment.  We watched an episode of "The Big Bang Theory", chatting throughout, then randomly, strangely, decided to watch "Romancing the Stone".  We watched/joked about it for the duration, and finally at some point during the movie I went from just being in close proximity to him to laying up against him in the crook of his arm.  My other arm fell asleep, but I so did not give a damn.

He smelled so good.  And his eyelashes are so long, and he felt good to lean against.  I wanted so badly to kiss him, but I swear, I couldn't figure out how to make the moment evolve.  Something about him is bringing out all the nerves I usually can't be bothered to have.

The movie ended and SNL was on, and we were mocking Justin Bieber, as he was hosting.  I started rambling a little.  Nervous rambling.  I felt like if something didn't shift, he was going to leave soon, and the moment would be missed.  I was stuck and panicking inside a little.  But then somehow, some way, he made a move and kissed me.

The flood gates broke open.  We kissed and kissed and kissed and I'd never been so grateful for the increased lung capacity all of my working out had afforded me.  We kissed until I was breathless and my lips were sore and swollen.  It was easy and amazing.  I used to mistakenly assume good kissing was a given, but it's not.   It can be hard to find a good match for kissing styles, for kissing skills.  We MATCHED.  We were totally and completely in sync.  It was spectacular.  I would also like to note that for the record, part of the time Justin Bieber was on TV in the background singing "As Long as You Love Me".  I laughed, and told him that now I would forever associate this silly Bieber song with this. 

After awhile he drew back and sat up, and his hair was all crazy and going in different directions, and I swear, it was adorable and sexy and I loved it.  We sat there grinning at each other like morons.

He said he should get going soon, and so eventually we got up and he got his coat on.  I went to kiss him, and the fire sparked again instantly.  Damn.  I COULD NOT STOP KISSING HIM.  I didn't want to stop.  I told him he had to stop being such a good kisser, he said that really it was me, I had to stop being so good at this.  We were at a happy stalemate.

He took his jacket off, and I kept him for another 45 minutes or so.  Most insane kissing chemistry I've felt in so, so, so long.  Finally we disentangled and he said he had to leave because it was getting dangerous.  He was right.  ;-) 

Coat back on.  To door.  Cue more kissing.  Cue him telling me I had to kick him out.  More kissing.  Me kicking him out.  So, so reluctantly.

I was wired for sound once he left.  I kid you not, I wandered around my apartment smiling like a fool.  He left around 1:20 in the morning, and I didn't fall asleep until 4.  I slept in until after NOON.  I woke up happy. 

I texted him tonight.  I was overthinking how and when to contact him, and finally I said screw it.  I asked him how his sunday was going, he told me he was very tired for some reason.  ;-)  And at a certain point amid our chitchat, I told him he was on a roll of successes with me.  He asked what they were.  I told him straight up:  You make me laugh, you're cute, and each time I see you it makes me want to see you more, not less.  Also, the kissing.

He responded that he couldn't take credit for the kissing, that I'm just really good at it. And that the feeling was mutual.  I told him that a) it takes two, and that clearly we are just very talented together and b) I was glad my boldness hadn't backfired.  He assured me that he wouldn't have made out with me if he didn't like me, so I was safe from any backfiring.  I told him I'd been pretty certain I was safe in that regard and he said "Oh, you definitely are."

Cut to the scene of me, feeling so happy and full of anticipation and potential that I may burst.  We talked  about when we're getting together again, and he invited me to come out to his area on Friday, so that's the plan. 

Cautiously optimistic is my formal state of the union here.  But I know that my lips are still sore from all the fast and furious kissing, and the memory of the chemistry there...wow.  This is a prime example of a tiny spark that slow burned into a fire.  I was attracted at first date, but nothing earth shattering.  Second date upped the stakes, and even the simple, chaste kisses were noteworthy, and I was more attracted.  Third date threw it over the edge, and everything blew up.  His personality, his sense of humor, the fact that we have so many weird, random little things in common, that he has a self proclaimed thing for curly hair.... ;-)

In summation?  I cannot wait for Friday.  Truly.  Anticipation burns bright in the land of Bluemoon tonight.