Sunday, February 3, 2013

dating games

So I had my second date with E last night.  We met at the movie theater for an early show (his idea, not mine).  He was waiting when I arrived, and I came in feeling pretty confident.  I had decided to try to blow out my hair on my own on a lark that morning, and lo and behold I was actually successful!  Then, I had the most awesome, softest pair of new jeans to wear, and a super adorable un-leather jacket I'd gotten late that afternoon that I wore over a bright blue scoop neck shirt.  I felt really cute and confident, and that erased a lot of the nerves I'd been having.

We'd gotten to the movie early, so we had about 45 minutes to talk before it started, which was actually a good thing.  I was glad we had a chance to re-acclimate before it started, and he looked as cute as last time.  I did take better notice of his eyes last night, dark brown and with great long lashes.  ;-)

Anyway, after the movie, we headed outside and over to a nearby restaurant for dinner.  It was snowing, which was lovely.  We stayed at dinner for a couple of hours talking and laughing, and I had a really good time.  I definitely felt like I was more of my true self this time, a little quirkier, a little flirtier, a little more silly and relaxed.  Plus, the waitress complimented both my jacket and my purse, so that was nice, too.  :-)

After dinner, we walked outside and approached the awkward point of the night on a sidewalk with people milling around on either side.  We'd parked on opposite sides of the theater, go figure.  I swear I am the most awkward, ridiculous person when it comes to this stuff!  We hugged at first, and then we broke apart and he was just smiling at me, and I could tell we'd reached the do we/don't we kiss moment.  Because I'm me, I declared "Ha, I hate this part" and he laughed, and I was all "All of these people are walking by", but I leaned in for another hug and we kissed.  Just a nice chaste kiss, but it was actually really lovely, and we kissed probably 3-4 more times as we said goodbye.  I told him I liked hanging out with him, he said the same, I said we should do it again, he said definitely.  At that point words were just dumping out of my mouth, and I figured what the hell.

So we went our separate ways after that, and I drove home with the snow flying past my windshield, a few new kisses on my lips, and a fluttery excitement over a second good date. 

All good, right?  So today, I couldn't decide if I should contact him or not.  I did last time after our date, so I was kind of hoping maybe this time he'd take the lead, but I've heard nothing from him all day.  I'm still considering sending a quick email, but damn, where's the initiative, E?  I don't think I misread the situation last night.  I do think he likes me, but he seems to be super laid back about all of this, and that's strange to me!

So I'm still sitting here trying to decide what to do.  And wondering why dating can't ever just be easy on all fronts.  And how nice it was to kiss E, and how I'd like to hang out with him again.  So why couldn't he just email me?  I am so dysfunctional about all of this that I already feel defensive, like he's wanting me to chase him, and that's probably totally unfair.  He is not Artboy.  He's probably just...oh, I don't even know.  Really.  And am I giving in if I shoot him a quick email?


Oh, dating.  You are a fickle beast!


  1. So glad it was a good date!

    I hate this kind of thing (everyone does). I feel like ideally you don't want to play games but let's be honest, on some level, game-playing is inevitable at the beginning. If it were me, I would wait on him for a little bit longer. The reason being: every time I reached out way more than the other person in the beginning, I ended up doing most of the work in the relationship. I don't want to reinforce annoying behaviors from the get-go. I'm more than happy to meet half-way but not willing to do all the work. I don't care what people say, for me, it's entirely necessary to court me or else I'm going to lose interest really quickly. Not sure if you're the same way or not but you deserve to have someone like you enough that they don't wait days to make sure you know that.

    1. Yes, I think that even if you don't consciously make a game of dating, on some level it is one, at least so early on!

      I'm glad I waited, as he emailed me this morning. ;) I, too, feel that having a balanced, mutual interest is so important!

  2. Not sure if I've mentioned this before, but this book: is fantastic. One of the big things she stresses is to wait for him to contact you, instead of vice versa. (Which, for me, is super duper hard because I'm like, "Butbutbut... I wanna talk to him!"). Seriously, it's worth a look... I know the Arlington library has it (because I've checked it out there about 50 times before buying my own copy ;).