NEXT!

I am ready for today to be over.  It started off so promising.  My alarm went off at 6:35 and instead of snoozing it until post-7am, I got up and got ready for work.  It all pretty much went downhill from there.

It's cold outside.  DC cold, not Nebraska cold.  But the wind was chilling and my face hurt after my 5+ block to work from the Metro station.  I SO BADLY wanted a warm, comforting White Mocha from the Bux, but I ignored it's siren song and went on to the office.

This morning brought the kick in the gut of the revelation of Angry Ex's marriage, and the subsequent mess of emotions it left in its wake.  I've got yet another dull headache (THANKS, HORMONES) and I'm so over the headache thing from the last few days.  Enough already.  I feel emotionally drained and tired, and to top that off, my pants are tight.  It's pissing me off.

This afternoon I let stress get the better of me and I indulged in two tiny (like 2 inch square) lemon bars leftover from the Partners' Meeting, and even though I counted it and should be able to still stay on track with calories after I work out, it sent me soaring over my sugar recommendations, and I felt weak for giving in.  Worse yet?  All I want right now is a roll of cookie dough, a spoon and a giant glass of milk.  Hi, I'm Bluemoon, and I like to eat my feelings! 

I'm not going to buy a roll of cookie dough.  I'm not going to eat more tiny lemon bars, or pummel myself with guilt over eating the two I did.  It was a mistake, and I'm holding myself accountable, and reminding myself that while those lemon bars were tasty, they did not fix my heart.  And they certainly did not help the issue of my pants feeling tight, or my scale not budging, or that stupid tape measurer telling me the same waist measurement it has for weeks now. 

I do apologize for the droopy nature of my posts today.  I try not to be like this very often, but today is just hard.  I think it's a combination of hormones, the news from earlier today, and the struggle with the dietary changes on top of everything.  I'm just a ball of irritation and stress, it seems.

I'm annoyed with Georgia for seemingly disappearing on me after telling me he was worth the wait.

I'm annoyed with my trainer for being less than stellar on his communication in the last week.  He told me my Saturday session would be rescheduled, but never let me know when, so I emailed him pretty pissy on Sunday about it.  I'm scheduled for three this week to make up for it, but I'm irrationally frustrated with him because my fuse is already short. 

I'm annoyed with myself for those two lemon squares.

I'm annoyed with exes in general.  Go away already.

I'm really annoyed with these vindictive pants.  I swear I've ingested enough water today that I feel like I'm going to float away, but I feel fat and grumpy and like I need a nap.  Is it wrong to want the weekend already???

ETA:  Trainer just sent out cardio results for all of his clients again for last week.  I won again.  I burned over 3500 calories from exercise last week.  It made me feel a little better, and tamped down what was becoming a serious desire to eat that cookie dough until I felt sick.