Tuesday, January 22, 2013


I am ready for today to be over.  It started off so promising.  My alarm went off at 6:35 and instead of snoozing it until post-7am, I got up and got ready for work.  It all pretty much went downhill from there.

It's cold outside.  DC cold, not Nebraska cold.  But the wind was chilling and my face hurt after my 5+ block to work from the Metro station.  I SO BADLY wanted a warm, comforting White Mocha from the Bux, but I ignored it's siren song and went on to the office.

This morning brought the kick in the gut of the revelation of Angry Ex's marriage, and the subsequent mess of emotions it left in its wake.  I've got yet another dull headache (THANKS, HORMONES) and I'm so over the headache thing from the last few days.  Enough already.  I feel emotionally drained and tired, and to top that off, my pants are tight.  It's pissing me off.

This afternoon I let stress get the better of me and I indulged in two tiny (like 2 inch square) lemon bars leftover from the Partners' Meeting, and even though I counted it and should be able to still stay on track with calories after I work out, it sent me soaring over my sugar recommendations, and I felt weak for giving in.  Worse yet?  All I want right now is a roll of cookie dough, a spoon and a giant glass of milk.  Hi, I'm Bluemoon, and I like to eat my feelings! 

I'm not going to buy a roll of cookie dough.  I'm not going to eat more tiny lemon bars, or pummel myself with guilt over eating the two I did.  It was a mistake, and I'm holding myself accountable, and reminding myself that while those lemon bars were tasty, they did not fix my heart.  And they certainly did not help the issue of my pants feeling tight, or my scale not budging, or that stupid tape measurer telling me the same waist measurement it has for weeks now. 

I do apologize for the droopy nature of my posts today.  I try not to be like this very often, but today is just hard.  I think it's a combination of hormones, the news from earlier today, and the struggle with the dietary changes on top of everything.  I'm just a ball of irritation and stress, it seems.

I'm annoyed with Georgia for seemingly disappearing on me after telling me he was worth the wait.

I'm annoyed with my trainer for being less than stellar on his communication in the last week.  He told me my Saturday session would be rescheduled, but never let me know when, so I emailed him pretty pissy on Sunday about it.  I'm scheduled for three this week to make up for it, but I'm irrationally frustrated with him because my fuse is already short. 

I'm annoyed with myself for those two lemon squares.

I'm annoyed with exes in general.  Go away already.

I'm really annoyed with these vindictive pants.  I swear I've ingested enough water today that I feel like I'm going to float away, but I feel fat and grumpy and like I need a nap.  Is it wrong to want the weekend already???

ETA:  Trainer just sent out cardio results for all of his clients again for last week.  I won again.  I burned over 3500 calories from exercise last week.  It made me feel a little better, and tamped down what was becoming a serious desire to eat that cookie dough until I felt sick. 


  1. This happens to all females, so you are not alone.

    And please please please don't beat yourself up too much over the lemon bars. Have some sweet potatoes or another slow burning carb with dinner or something.

    Georgia, well, you guys probably hit that droop where its go time, meaning, its time to meet and see if there is chemistry, or he is actually busy with packing. Either way, fuck him, he is just another man, they are pretty much all let downs anyway. I'm seriously considering lesbianism.

    Perhaps call Artboy for some hot sex?

    1. RE: Artboy, wish I could, but my body dictates I have to wait a couple of days. :/

      RE: Georgia, I, too, feel like its go time, but I'm not going to just drop him in the meantime. I would have been 100% ok with a text telling me he's got to focus on getting ready for his move, but that he'll get in touch once he's settled here. That's WAY preferable to just falling off the face of the Earth. Grow up, man!

      I'm not feeling TOO bad about the lemon bars, but my intense yearning to say fuck it to dinner and eat the cookie dough or some brownies...yeah. That's the real battle. :/

  2. Be droopy! That's what the interweb is for, and all of us readers who find you interesting, droopy or not :) You're exercising a lot of self-control, both with your emotions and the emotional eating... way to go! Plus, everyone is entitled to days where they hate everyone and everything. Hang in there.

    1. Thank you. I do sometimes feel like I need to apologize if I'm not being witty or silly or at least light hearted, but some days are just like today, I guess!

      I came home and resisted all evil temptations and had a good dinner, with my worst indulgence being some frozen sweet corn. Went to trainer, had my workout with him for strength training, told him about my frustrations, and then did my own cardio workout after. Back at home, going to nosh on something protein-tastic, carb-less (or low) and imbibe MORE water before bed.

      Tomorrow...let it be a better day!

  3. I just read your last post about Georgia contact dwindling. Have you heard from him at all? He could just be another flop but he could also be really stressed with everything and maybe even worried he won't be as enticing in person as he in over the phone. Don't want to paint a rosy picture but it could be a number of things. But, time will tell.

    1. I guess we'll see. No contact on Monday or Tuesday, and nothing today so far. Not promising! I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I would have appreciated SOME kind of message, even if it was just to tell me he'd contact me once he was settled. As it is, I'm not so impressed!

    2. Yeah, what the heck happened?! Now you have a bad taste in your mouth and he'll have to make it up to you somehow!

    3. HA, he reappeared today. Go figure!