Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Is that so much to ask?

"I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I'm the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me." - Hannah, "Girls"

So the holidays are a booming time for internet dating, it seems.  I think it frequently reminds single people of their singlehood, and with all the hearts and stars and whimsy in the air, it's easy to get caught up and feel like you are missing something if you're not part of a pair.  I think I even had a couple of those moments around Christmas, and even a brief moment in the midst of my solo NYE.

However, I have to say that I have received an absolutely unbelievable number of messages and notifications on my online dating profile in the last few days.  It is kind of over the top crazy.  It's like all the single men hopped onto the site and started searching with all their might for their next mate.

I feel very popular, sure.  But anytime there's a flood like this, there are sure to be some snakes in the water.  I am growing weary of being told how breathtaking or beautiful I am.  Does that sound wrong?  I'm not ungrateful or anything, and I don't have some floor-skimming self-esteem levels.  I just know that I'm generally more of a "cute" or an "adorable" type.  I have my beautiful moments, and maybe here or there I've taken a breath away, but generally?  That's not me.  I find those over the top compliments to be a turn off.

Sometimes I think I know what I want, and other times I'm just not so sure, and that's okay.  The quote from "Girls" sounds pretty good, but I don't want someone who wants to hang out all the time.  Not really.  Although maybe if I found the right person, I'd like that, and I'd want to hang out all the time, too.

Key difference?  Unlike the bluemoon of the past, I wouldn't do it.  I'd keep going to the gym.  Doing my own thing.  Doing happy hours when it's nicer, going to movies with friends.  I would finally find the balance between together time and solo time, and I expect whatever relationship I do find myself in next will be a lot healthier for it.  :-)

The parts about thinking I'm the best person in the world and wanting to have sex with only me are non-negotiable, though.  ;-) 

Happy New Year!


  1. I get annoyed by the "You're so beautiful" comments as well. You know, when you're not saying that to someone right off the bat, it can be quite endearing. For instance if I were to make an extra effort at primping one day and then my (imaginary) boyfriend were to say "Wow! You look beautiful!" I would take it to heart.

    But the last guy I went on a date with was sending me texts every damn day "Did anyone tell you that you have beautiful eyes today?" "Did anyone tell you that your smile is like a rainbow?" Seriously.

    Stop. Just. Stop.

    1. EXACTLY. And the rainbow smile thing? Would have me running in the opposite direction!

  2. Yeah when you dont evenknow me and you are making those comments is annoying and feels disingenuous. Even if i do know you well and you say it over and over, it begins to lose its luster (balance, people. Balance).

    1. So true! These guys are trying too hard.

  3. I consider those guys to be straight up players, looking for nothing more than bed mates for a couple nights. I've been getting a ton of messages too, and really, I'm just not interested.

    Hannah's speech has been in my head all day, its an odd coincidence that you posted it on your blog, today of all days. I'm going to have to have one of those talks soon so, yeah, not fun.

    1. Right on and same here!

      I love Hannah's whole speech. I love/hate that after she makes this big proclamation, she immediately gives into him again. Like it or not, I'm a Hannah and I have an Adam, and I keep giving in!

      I've had those talks and they haven't stuck yet. :/