Tuesday, March 5, 2013

It only takes one.

"It takes ONE guy. Just ONE. Finding him will take loads of perseverance, patience, and WHY'S and you are too good to settle. So, I wish you better than these horrific dates and I wish you love and I hope your best guy is right around the keep on kissing those frogs until then."

This was an excerpt from a comment by Readyandfading on one of my more recent posts.  You all know I've had a rough couple of weeks, and part of that roughness has been a decided frustration with dating and men and the likelihood of me ever finding someone to really love again. 

That sentiment, that it just takes one guy, and that I'm too good to settle for anything less...that's so important to be reminded of.  The two things go together, and then they spiral out into a bigger picture, with a more significant message.  I am more than any romantic relationship I may desire or become a part of.  I am pretty spectacular on my own.  I am more self-sufficient than I ever imagined, more capable, more driven.  If someone had asked the married version of me at 23 if  I could ever be happy in a life as a perpetual singleton, living alone and doing my own thing all the time, I would have crinkled my nose with disdain.  So much solitary time!  So many day to day adult life unknowns!

Yet here I am.  And while I may have a frequent rider's pass for the dating merry go round, I also have a job I love, friends I adore, family I love, an apartment that suits me, cats who make me laugh, hobbies and things to do that fill my time, and a group of awesome blogger friends who support me and encourage me and commiserate with me, all while reading along on this crazy little journey.

That, my friends, is pretty impressive, and is part of the reason why I really am too good to settle, and why I won't, and why I need to continue to work on being patient, and taking care of all the other parts of my life, and letting this dating puzzle piece work itself out over time.  Upside?  BLOG MATERIAL!


  1. I think what's key is not getting too invested before you know what you're dealing with. The best way for me to do that is either date many guys at one time, or have a busy schedule full of activities (like yoga, swimming, shopping trips or whatever).

    I have to remind myself of the same thing, it only takes one. I'm thinking about going for Match or eHarmony when I am ready to get back into online dating. Free is nice, but also leads to a bunch of cheap asses just looking for sex. Some of the guys on Match are no better, but at least it seems that they want to find something more and are paying to find something more.

    1. Yeah, that's what I try to do. I failed with E, but only because he misrepresented himself so substantially.

      I don't love dating many guys at one time, and would thusly prefer to just be busy on my own accord. :)

      I've done Match and eHarmony and I LOATHED eHarmony. Match was fine and I would consider it again, but not just yet.

  2. Bluemoon, you managed to echo my sentiments in a beautiful, pithy way. I almost want to repost paragraphs 2 &3 on my blog (linked back and credited of course). This particularly resonated with me:

    "I am more than any romantic relationship I may desire or become a part of. I am pretty spectacular on my own. I am more self-sufficient than I ever imagined, more capable, more driven."

    1. Well, thank you. :) And you're certainly welcome to repost and link away if you'd like! I'm glad you can identify with what I'm saying and that it came across clearly. Sometimes I know in my head what I mean, but I'm not sure I can translate it to the written word accurately!

  3. Thank you so much for this beautiful post, I am touched. I am so happy that you read my comment and it stuck with you. You are WAY to good to settle. You have too many good qualities to be taken for granted or taken advantage of. When I finally (after MANY MANY MANY bad dates and even worse long-term relationships) got that I am too good too settle (my best friend was the one who gave me this advice), I found someone that I don't have to settle too much for (yes, he is still a man and told me last night that he washed his sheets last "months ago" and I gagged)...ALL of the very bad and terrible and horrible (yet amazing reading material....) dates worth it. Go get get them and thank you again. This MADE my day!