Online dating is annoying. It can be entertaining, it can be fun, but it can be really, really annoying.
I don't initiate conversation very often on online dating sites, but every now and again I will send someone a first message. Personally, if they're not interested, I'd prefer they just ignore me and carry on. I don't want some awkward reply about why they aren't interested, or even a message just saying they're not interested. It's not that serious. Just ignore me, I'll take the hint and we're good.
Turns out that while some people agree with this, others vehemently disagree. Some men (ahem, many men) on these sites want me to respond to every message I get to tell them I'm not interested. I find that annoying. First of all, I get a lot of messages. Call me a bitch, but I don't want to take the time to respond to each and every one of them, in particular the really asinine ones. Second, since when did online dating become a contract where I owe everyone something? If I'm not interested, I'm not interested. Let's not talk about why, let's not make me explicitly tell you. My non-response tells you, doesn't it?
Some guy sent me some cheesy message a couple weeks back. I read it, was bored, deleted it. This morning I get another message from him. The guilt technique. "So you didn't reply to my message, I get it. I was really hoping to get to no (yup, that's how he spelled it) you, but it's your choice. I guess keep picking the wrong guys and good luck with that."
I'm in no mood to have some strange, bitter little man from the online dating universe try to judge/shame/guilt me today. I replied. I told him that I prefer to be ignored if someone doesn't think I'm a match, so this is how I handle things in the reverse. I pointed out that it's a lose-lose situation, that I'm going to offend someone no matter what because some people like to be told no, others just want to be ignored. I then told him that his assumption that I just want to pick the wrong guys was uncalled for, and that when it's coming from someone who I've turned down, comes off like sour grapes. TAKE CARE, ASSHOLE.
He wrote back, "At least I got a response, LOL. Take care of yourself."
I've gotten less tolerant of some of the BS that rolls through my inbox lately on this front. I've started to reply to the morons, the sulkers, the pompous asses, the ones handing out cheesy lines like it's their job. Then I block them if they bother me. Fair's fair.
So you see, online dating? Annoying. Really wish there was a better option. But please do not tell me I should just meet people in real life. People who say that a) already have a boyfriend/husband/significant other b) have been out of the dating world so long they've forgotten how brutal it is and c) are naive if they think meeting people in the real world is either easy or better. There are just as many assholes and broken toys to be found at the gym or the grocery store or a coffee shop!
Also? Since I'm on a venting roll....I have gotten so many messages with the saddest, most embarrassing misspellings in them lately. What about my profile beckons to the uneducated masses??? Oy. I should add a note to my profile that I'm the type who finds misspellings and typos on menus and business signs and that if you can't spell basic, elementary-level words, we're going to have a PROBLEM.
That is all.
Can't Tell Me Nothin'
18 hours ago