Monday, April 23, 2012

My path, it is circular

Do you ever just feel like your life is on a continuous loop?  Sometimes I feel that way.  It seems I need to experience something multiple times before I trust my instincts and move forward.

Luckily, this time I'm not doing anything self-destructive.  Go me!  I'm actually a little bit proud of myself for small victories, and reminded again that as soon as you stop paying attention to people, they suddenly become interested in you again.  Sigh.  So predictable!  Said object of inattention tried to converse with me friday, got nowhere, and tried to converse with me today.  Got short, to the point answers and he asked me "Why are you being saucy today?"  LOL.  Poor lad was confused that I wasn't kissing his ass and flirting with him like he was the last virile man on earth.  I took no bait and I felt no pull, and really I just felt a little flush of satisfaction at putting him off his game.

Beyond that, my weekend was okayish.  Friday sucked.  Plans got waylaid and annoying and I took my grumpy self home instead of sharing it with the much delayed company I was supposed to meet up with.  I went home and had a quiet night in the apartment instead. 

Saturday I bought new shoes for the gym, as my current ones had been making my toes numb before the end of a 60 minute workout, and I kind of figured that wasn't a good thing, ha!  My new shoes (which I got at 20% off, thank you, well-timed coupon) are cute and lightweight and super comfortable.  I look forward to breaking them in at the gym tomorrow, although I did wear them saturday evening.

Saturday evening I spent somewhere with someone doing something.  We went someplace and we ate something and we talked about this and that and it was familiar and comforting and puzzling and nerve-inducing all at once because I spent over seven hours there and nobody kissed me.  I got home at just shy of three in the morning, and luckily I was much more awake than the time last weekend when I drove home at 11 after doing something with this someone someplace.  Thank god for Coke Zero.  :-)

This is a loop I've made before, and for whatever reason I've been drawn back to it, and I'm trying it out again.  Forgive my ambiguity, but trust that this loop has never been hurtful to me, not once. 

It rained all day.  I was lazy and spent the bulk of the day on my couch catching up on DVR.  I made chicken tacos via crockpot, had some popcorn as a snack, lit a candle that smells like banana nut bread, dozed briefly.  I went out to the store for a couple of things and got a coffee on the way back, arriving home wet and chilled from the sunday weather.  Kind of a lovely sunday full of restfulness, puzzling over something that is NOT bad for me, but remains an enigma and as a silver lining, being called "saucy" for a marked change in my behavior with someone I needed  to have a marked change in behavior with. 

On that note.....time to retire to bed for the evening.

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