I'm seriously considering closing down my online dating account for the time being. Ignoring all the leftovers who keep contacting me. Not giving my number to anyone anymore, at least for awhile.
Something is off. I feel like I'm lonely sometimes, but then I start getting attention from anyone and I feel smothered almost instantly. Beyond that, lately I've had a bad run of people who are looking solely for a hookup, and I'm quite honestly really tired of it. Sleeping with me is not a given. Talking dirty to me nearly right off the bat is not acceptable. Get over yourselves, men of the world.
I worry sometimes that I am only attracted to people who are not attracted to me, or who are less than what I deserve. And that the only people attracted to me are the ones I feel nothing for.
Other times I don't want to think about any of this at all. I would rather drive for 2 hours on a saturday night in the company of just myself than sit around flirting online with some idiotic man who will either bore me, blow me off or let me down. Waste of energy.
I need legitimate spring to arrive and stay. Maybe it will make me feel better, and make me forget all this other nonsense.
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