Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I'm sorry, but all the men in my life are just stupid.

I know that's a nervy proclamation for me to make.  I'm no genius myself, and I certainly make plenty of mistakes on a routine basis to get judged right back in return.  But I'm okay with that.  An outsider's perspective has value, damn it, and I could just smack each and every one of these guys for not seeing what's really before them.

Shall we begin?

Ex-H:  Dating a girl with a small child.  They went from casual, infrequent dating in the fall to suddenly serious dating in the last month or two.  She's been married twice, and told him the second marriage was to sever the parental rights of the first.  Hmm.  First husband isn't in the picture at all, but second is and apparently there's some measure of drama there.  She recently made ex-H take down all the pictures of her daughter (and her) from his FB page, even though she'd put them up in the first place.  She also periodically deactivates her FB page, and ex-H thinks she's paranoid about an ex seeing that she's dating someone else?  That's always a glowing green light of goodness, isn't it?  :-/

Ex-BF:  Dating and living with a girl who barely works, has just about never paid him rent, and insofar as I can tell, is just taking advantage of his money and him being a sucker.  She doesn't help out around the house, they argue all the time. But she's blonde and has great abs, so it all balances out.  Right?  ;-)

Ex Ex BF:  Married and has a baby coming in June with his wife.  Recently told me that it had been a whole two weeks since their relationship had been hostile, and that if it weren't for the baby the marriage would have ended already.  Keeps himself insanely busy with hobbies and home improvement because "Too much time with [Wife] is a bad thing.  They hardly see each other as is due to their work schedules.  He said he feels trapped and that their personalities are too much alike, and all they do is clash.

My friend, R:  Met girl online (through a friend, he'd met her in real life once before briefly) around Thanksgiving. Online chatted and talked on phone until their first visit President's Day weekend.  He proposed (ring-less) on that visit.  Visited again in March with ring.  Originally planned to move to Texas (then Tennessee, plans changed) to start their lives together in August.  He told me they would be getting married in September, but today told me actually reception would have been September, wedding late June. But she failed some test in some program she's in and got booted from the program, so now they're getting married April 29 in California, where she lives now.  They will be moving to Tennessee this summer, late June early July.  None of his family is attending, not even his 14 year old son. 


I just don't understand the choices some people make.  Again, I know I've made plenty of really bad ones, but seriously?  EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON discussed here is doing things I simply don't understand. 
It's not my place to judge.  I don't have to understand any of it because they are not my people anymore, and I do not have to live with the consequences.  However, I still care about all of these people, and it is so hard to watch, you know?

Life is never so easy as it seems.  People seem so happy on Facebook and even in person or over email when that's what they want you to see.  But then the truth comes out and nothing is so shiny and lovely and clean cut as it appears. 

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