If/Then

When I get mad, when someone hurts me, when I'm bored, when I'm frustrated, when I'm lonely, when I'm stuck....

-I drive
-I eat
-I zone out in front of the tv
-I sleep

If I could retrain myself to forego those activities even half of the time in favor of doing some kind of exercise, be it walking, going to the gym, or some other such cardiovascular activity, I would probably lose this double handful of pounds I've accumulated that is making every single pair of pants I own tight.

All of my pants are my sworn enemies lately.  I have been overindulging in the wallowing.  I eat too much crap for no good reason.  I eat because I'm bored.  I eat because something sounds good in theory even if I'm not actually hungry.  I eat because everyone else is. 

I lay around because people are exhausting sometimes and its easier to be alone.  I drive because sometimes my car, with music raining down on me in waves, is the only place I can think straight.

I think I need a cold hard smack from reality.  All this self-indulgence is getting me is tight pants and junk food un-abs. 

In my dream world that I aspire to, when I get mad, when someone hurts me, when I'm bored, when I'm frustrated, when I'm lonely, when I'm stuck....

-I go to the gym, or on a walk
-I write

Willpower, come back to me.  Let's be friends.