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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I thank you very sweetly

This is a post about the awesome people I call my friends.  I know this blog is a lot of nonsense about boys (and yes, I know I'm 33 and the people I'm involved with should not be called boys, but I'm still 12/14/16 at heart, so deal with it), but the fact of the matter is that without my friends, I'd be full on insane by now.

The honest truth is that I'm one of those girls.  You know the ones....they get into a relationship, and they slowly begin to suck.  I've never been a critical offender, instead taking the more passive path.  I don't cut my friends off, I just become less motivated to get out and be social.  I lose the motivation to do things that are just my own. 

Since moving to DC six years ago, I've had a hit and miss road with making friends.  I had a very close friendship with a girl, J for many years.  We were both from the Midwest and she actually grew up very near where I went to college.  We were great friends...and then she got engaged.  No joke, that changed the course of our friendship, and now here we are a year and a half later, and we don't talk anymore.  I mourned the loss of that friendship for a long time, but ultimately I realized that it wasn't going to go back to how it was before, and I had to let it go.

Beyond that, I've had friendships connected to each of my relationship, and a couple of other good friends along the way.  However, our paths were always pretty different, so they were never people I saw a ton. 

This year, after the breakup with the ex, and after my self imposed hibernation, I found myself feeling changed inside.  I was more open.  More friendly.  Happier.  And suddenly, I was making a lot more friends.  The weird thing is that this has mostly happened with people I already knew...co-workers and acquiantances.  Somehow I was building these legitimate friendships, and the best part?  They were reciprocal. 

Over the years I've grown kind of accustomed to being the one in a friendship who does more work, generally speaking.  The one who always has to suggest getting together, the one who has to reach out.  I didn't often get reached out *to*!  But now, things are finally changing.  I have friends who call me to see how I am.  Text me to say hi.  Send me thoughtful emails, ask me to do things.  Finally, I'm doing something right, with the right people.

I may be a bit boy crazy now and again.  I may be a bit of a mess.  But I am a good friend, and I have good friends, and for that I am so very grateful.  :-)

2 comments:

  1. You are a very good friend! Although those "boys" have a very different role in our lives, I'm so grateful they brought us together! Now . . . for us to actually *get* together again sooner rather than later. I cannot believe it's been almost four years since I last saw you in person. I dislike this.

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  2. @Tracy: I agree! Silver lining. :) Four years? That's depressing. We need to remedy this! I SO want to come to Columbia.

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