Pages

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Neighbor Drama

As background, a couple with a small dog moved in to the apartment next to mine about a month ago. I've heard them arguing several times already, very loudly. The walls are pretty thin, as are the front doors, so you can hear everything, especially if it's quiet in your apartment.

So Monday night I had my night interrupted by a one sided screaming match, wherein the girl screamed bloody murder at the guy, whom I've met a couple of times via the dog.  She spent HOURS accusing him of cheating on her, of talking to his family behind her back (Huh?), of buying a plane ticket to Miami without telling her.  She screamed and cursed like crazy, and she sounded completely and totally off her rocker.  I heard her throwing things that then broke, they sounded like glass, and pounding on things for emphasis as she yelled.  All I could think of was that poor, tiny little dog, who was barking like crazy the entire time, probably out of stress.

The whole situation seriously raised my blood pressure and caused me a lot of anxiety.  The guy didn't raise his voice at all even though she called him horrible names, ripped into him and his family, told him how she wished his family was dead, how much she hates them.  She demanded to talk to his family on the phone, she spewed anger about how they had her blocked on FB. She told him over and over how he doesn't deserve her, how she's so much better than him, and espousing what a good person she is.

Now I don't know their situation beyond what I heard.  Maybe he's a big cheater, maybe he's a horrible person.  But what I do know is that she's the one who screamed at him for hours, loud enough for our whole building to hear.  She's the one who threw and broke things, hit things, scared the ever loving shit out of her little dog.  She's the one who called names, worked herself into a hysterical frenzy, and made me hugely anxious.

He left the apartment probably 3 times over the course of the evening with the dog, out into the falling snow, for a walk, presumably to let her cool down.  These were the only quiet times.  Within a minute of him getting back into the apartment I'd hear her screaming at him again.

All I could think was....why doesn't one of them just leave?  Clearly that situation was not going anywhere good.  They're very lucky no one called the cops on them, including me.  I seriously considered it because it was scary.  People are truly so terrible to each other sometimes.  They say the worst things, they scream and think it's making a difference.

I guess this hits home for me because I've been in those fights before with Angry Ex, the kind where you're just screaming and shouting and there's no real cognizance of what you're saying or doing. The kind where walls get hit or things get broken, and control is an idea not a reality.

Things calmed down eventually, but it was after probably 3 hours of this off and on, with the only breaks being when he went outside with the dog.

It makes me feel so awkward every time I see the guy after these incidents.  I've actually only seen the girl out and about one time.  She screamed at him about her dog, but I would swear it's his as he's the only one I ever see with the dog. Surely they must know that everyone can hear their fighting?

I'm trying not to take sides or get more involved than I am because I only hear what's being said and have no back story.  But honestly, cheater or not, I guess I'm impressed that the guy hasn't taken the bait.  To me, based on my history, this is an accomplishment.  In my relationship with Angry Ex, if I'd yelled at him like that, he would have lost his shit.  He would have definitely been yelling back harder. This guy hasn't shouted at her, he hasn't gone storming out, he's not the one throwing things.  I don't know how you can take someone screaming at you like that and not take the low road with them.

These new neighbors are making me really uncomfortable in general.  I feel bad for that dog, and I feel bad that my anxiety is ratcheted up every time they need to have a throwdown.  It makes me roll my eyes far less at the noisy upstairs neighbors because at least their noise is happy noise.  They chase each other around and wrestle and laugh very loudly...which now, by comparison, is fine by me.

SUPER GLAD my lease just officially renewed TODAY.  Sigh.

8 comments:

  1. Ugh. That does not sound fun. I may slip a note under the door saying "Everyone in the building can hear what you are saying. We are sorry you are having issues, but take it down a notch." ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! I thought about saying something to the guy, just letting him know that we can all hear, I don't want anyone to call the cops on her, etc, but I think I'm ultimately too chicken. :-o

      Delete
  2. Oh my goodness. That's no way to live. I hope they figure it out. Soon. For your sake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed! And for that girl's mental health, as she sounds legitimately certifiable. :-o She was telling him how she'd followed him the previous night, too....not healthy.

      Delete
  3. Fuck that, I'd call the cops. I have no patience for that, especially if its at night and I want to sleep, oh no, hell no. I called the cops on so many people, I have the SDPD number saved in my cell phone, no shame. I wonder if someone did call the cops on her, if she would think twice before screaming bloody murder at her boyfriend. Although, be sure to say that its her causing the disturbance and not him, I'm sure the stereotype is that the boyfriend is the abuser, no reason to get the quiet guy in trouble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was during the evening and was wrapped up by maybe 10-11? I would definitely clarify who was shouting and throwing things if I ever did call, though. That guy seemed like a saint for not screaming back!

      Delete
  4. I'm with Danielle on this one, I would call the police, especially since it's not just about the potential for domestic abuse but also because of the public nuisance they're causing!!!

    I used to live next-door to a guy that insisted on late night (3am) Skype calls to his family, except instead of talking, he would shout. I used to bang on the walls to no avail, in the end I called the landlord each time! I know, but the way I see it, I'm paying rent too and deserve to live in peace!

    I hope things get better for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I plan to complain to the apt. management if it happens again. This really only helps BF's cause to get me out to his place! :-)

      Delete