Monday, July 22, 2013

I went slumming and all I've got to show for it is this hickey

On Friday I went to the movies with some friends.  It was a large group, probably a dozen people.  I knew most of them, but there were a couple newbies.  I ended up seated next to one of them, and I decided quickly that I didn't like her.  Why?  She checked her phone and texted CONSTANTLY throughout the movie.  A horror movie, where the dark theater is important.  Where her huge, gigantic (I know because it's the same phone I have!) phone lit up a section of our row everytime she felt compelled to check the time, or her texts, or respond to something, or check her Facebook.

This is a huge, huge pet peeve of mine.  Why did she even come if she just wanted to go out with her phone?  Stop wasting my money and time with your rudness, please!  When I go to movies I mute my phone and it goes in my purse, where it stays, unchecked for the duration of the movie.  I can be unavailable for 2 hours.  End rant.

Saturday I had a double lined up for the day date-wise.  First up was the Bass Player, who I went out with for the first time over a year and a half ago.  He resurfaced, and because he is really cute, I said what the hell.  We met for lunch in a central location, which was still a hike for me since he lives really far out in VA.  He's still cute, no disputing that, and he's 6'3".  Hello!  Gotta love that.

Lunch was fine.  He's a nice guy.  He works full time and goes to school as well.  He's close with his family, who all live in the area.  He's a huge football fan.  He plays bass, previously in a band, but not currently, and seems great on paper.  Problem?  He just comes off blah to me.  Nice, attractive, like I *should* like him, but so far I'm not getting anything.

After lunch he asked about doing something this coming weekend, but I'll be out of town for a girls weekend, so I told him perhaps the following weekend.  He texted me yesterday to check in and say hi, and to see how my weekend had gone after our lunch.  Nice, right?

Saturday night was my first date with the Starving Artist. Not the same as Artboy!  He's 31, lives in DC, works as a waiter and bartender.  Loves to do art, has many tattoos on his arms, owns a condo and a car somehow.  We'd been talking for about a week, a ton of texting each evening.  Exchanging pics (nothing scandalous!).  We got along really well, so I was excited to meet him.  I knew he wasn't the drop dead gorgeous type, instead he was kind of rumpled and messy and adorable.  Like another artist type I know....

Saturday night we did drinks and dinner and back at my apartment after, we made out a little, and it was nice because the chemistry was pretty good.  He asked about seeing me again, and because of our conflicting schedules and me going out of town this coming weekend, we ended up hanging out again last night for a couple of hours.  More kissing ensued. 

But I realized something about the Starving Artist, in particular as I spent the second evening with him.  He was so insistent before we met that he was not a player.  That the only games he would play with me were board games (ha!).  That while he was dating around now, ultimately he wanted to find one person to date.  We had both already acknowledged with amusement that we didn't fully understand why we clicked, because we're vastly different. 

He's a self-proclaimed slacker with no goals beyond his job as a waiter/bartender.  He does art, but he doesn't try to make any money off of it.  He considers going out drinking twice a week to not be drinking very much.  He says he has no real nice clothes.  His condo is a hot mess, seriously.  I had to make a conscious effort to not look too closely or else it would have compelled me to start cleaning.  And his phone.  It was BLOWING UP and he was alternating between snatching the phone up to look at it, with the display purposefully out of my line of sight, or just checking it and telling me, "Oh, it's the crazy girl from NY", or "I don't even know who that one is from", etc. 

Meanwhile, he owns his condo and because he is an ARTIST, he draws and writes on his walls, and apparently gives others the freedom to do so.  So in addition to his own writings and drawings on there, he showed me a sequence of things that were done by two alternating girls he was dating at the same time, who were each trying to piss the other off with things they wrote on the wall.  WTF?

He was fun to kiss.  He was rumpled and cute.  He complimented my hair, my nails, my body, my whatever, over the course of the time we talked.  He had crazy, weird charm and talent.  But?

He kept saying I was slumming it with him.  That he didn't understand why we got along.  That he gave it two weeks before I realized the error of my ways.  That I am this professional, successful adult and he's just a slacker, and wtf am I doing talking to him.

And you know what?  I protested at first, I told him to stop saying things like that.  But by the time I left last night he'd convinced me.  Not only was I sure that he was a player in spite of his assertions to the contrary, and was I sure that he is a big fan of the game playing, but he'd also convinced me that he was right about the other stuff.  He is a big child.  He can't be bothered to pick up his apartment even a little before a date comes over.  He uses his walls like a diary. 

I left and he walked me to my car, which was nice.  He asked, "Should I call you before you go out of town Thursday?"  At this point I was still somehow not decided on being done with him, so I told him, "Why wouldn't we talk before that?"  He shrugged and said, "Will we?  Okay.  But probably not tomorrow."  Huh?  Games people play, I guess.

I was halfway home when I got a text from him.  "You left your little jacket here, I'm sure so you have an excuse to come back.  ;-)"

I was pissed.  I love my little short-sleeved Nike hoodie.  I responded, "Not on purpose.  Damn, I really like that hoodie."

Him:  "I'll just keep it.  It smells nice.  :-)"

Me, feeling annoyed, knowing I will probably never see this kid again:  "They still sell it, I'll just get another one.  Stupid to bring it, anyway."

Two (sort of) dates, some good kissing, some awesome flirting, some unexpected chemistry....but all I get out of it is being down a hoodie and up two super classy hickies on my neck.  Where's my cover-up???


  1. Ugh I am annoyed for you! Why the heck did he bring up these other girls? So dumb of him to talk you out of dating him. He's going to end up alone or settling for someone he doesn't like if he always says things like that to girls he thinks are too smart for him or too pretty for him.

    Hickeys are so annoying too! Why do grown men think that's ok to do still?

    1. Hickeys are so tacky, especially on someone of my age, LOL. Oh well, thank god for makeup to cover them up.

      Yeah, he told me he is "too honest" and has no filter, and he wasn't kidding! Of course he messaged me last night like nothing was off, so not surprising.

      I just can't see how he can claim he's not a player when he's obviously got so many things going on!

  2. What a fucking loser. If he texts you and asks why you disappeared you should just say "When someone tells me who they are, I believe them, BYE". I don't know if he would, but he is an obvious fisher.

    I would still chat it up with the other guy, you never know. If you get along well and he is attractive, perhaps it just takes a bit to get out of his shell. Chemistry isn't always instant.

    I would have told that girl to put her phone away. I have no patience for that kid shit.

    1. I should have said something to the woman about her phone. Sad thing? She was probably like 45 years old!!

      I'm going to give the boring guy another chance probably, if he sticks around through me being gone this whole weekend. Like I said, he's nice, just nothing standing out just yet. I'm trying to be patient. :)

  3. For realz on Danielle...I always found that the more a guy would say "I am not a cheater" "I am not a player" "I am not a serial dater"...the more they were all of those things.

    1. Yeah, that does seem to be true fairly often. Too bad, he was cute, LOL.

  4. I've gone on 2nd or 3rd dates with guys for the sake of fetching my favorite hair pins or cheapie Forever 21 earrings. Nike hoodie is precious!

    Starving Artist plays games but he is horrible at it because he's so transparent. When do these guys grow up??

    1. Yeah, I remain bummed about the hoodie, but I'm pretty sure he's not going out of his way to get it back to me, and I'm not going back out his way, LOL.

      He has a long way to go before he grows up. He's 31, but acts 22. WTF? Oh well, he was fun to kiss for a couple of days, LOL.