Evil Face

I seriously hate my skin right now.  95% of my face is totally clear and soft and lovely.  Then there is that other 5%.  Maybe even less than that, but it's all I can see.  As I mentioned yesterday, I am pretty certain that my sugar bingeing in the last 2-3 weeks has resulted in a pretty detestable breakout on my chin.  One one side.  WHAT.THE.EFF? 

I've had it suggested that it's from resting my chin against my hand, but damn...I'm not doing anything different than I've always done.  I changed my pillowcases.  I added the evil benzoyl peroxide back into my regime in the mornings because the salicyclic acid wasn't cutting it.  If my new towels get bleached because of that stuff...argh.  I've been diligently washing my face after working out, as I did wonder if that might have been a cause, too. 

Whatever, the bottom line is that I hate looking in the mirror lately.  My skin and thusly my face is just a source of constant frustration, and I do not feel attractive.  Add to this the other effects of my overindulgence, and it's been a rough few weeks confidence wise.

Yes, I'm back onto the eating better train as of yesterday, and I did very well.  Saw my trainer, had a great workout.  Tonight is boot camp, and I'm doing well on the eating again.  Small things that will turn back into habit again soon, I'm sure.  But in the meantime, I'm still feeling very unattractive right now.

It's annoying, especially after I'd had so many weeks of feeling progressively more and more awesome and attractive.  I feel like the entire last month has just been one big series of setbacks, and I'm definitely being tested!  I know my skin isn't going to clear up with one day of eating better, and I know part of it is hormonal, and sometimes skin just breaks out.  But damn....I would really love to look in the mirror again one day soon and be happy with my reflection, instead of being distracted by the monstrosity of the outbreak on my chin.  It's all I can see!

I'm supposed to be doing all of these fun social things in the coming days, and my enthusiasm is not as high as it would be otherwise.  I'm feeling self-conscious in advance, and pissed off that I have to meet new people looking like this.  I was supposed to meet some POF guy tomorrow night, but I swear I may reschedule it for next week just so that I have a slightly better chance that my skin will be in SLIGHTLY better shape.  It's not even for the guy, it's for me.  For my self-confidence and self-assurance, which has been in a world of hurt lately. 

Kick me when I'm down, why don't you, lousy skin!