October is my favorite month. It's autumn, it's football and hoodies and pumpkins and haunted things and hot chocolate. This October, as it turns out, has also been unreasonable deadlines, grumpy/difficult/challenging/obnoxious people and frustration. Thank god for acupuncture on Monday that decompressed me in a major way, and thank god for the chiro appt. I have Saturday morning to do more of the job.
I've been so drained from work lately, it's crazy. It's been a weird distraction from the rest of my life, which is just a thing floating by me in the hours I'm not at work or thinking about work. I went on a coffee date last night, it was not bad. I've been talking to another guy for a couple of weeks and thought he was really promising, in spite of him being 5 years my junior (!!!), but then I found out he smokes, so I'm torn. Another guy I've "known" online for 2-3 months now and cannot get the motivation to meet. We were supposed to go out tonight, but I'm opting out. I need a nap, and the gym, and a warm dinner ALONE.
Tomorrow night I'm planning to go to a haunted forest with some people, so that should be a good time. However, I think I'm most looking forward to the rest of the weekend. Sleeping, chiro, trainer/gym, scary movies, buying my pumpkins, maybe baking up some chex mix, watching all kinds of football. Yes, please!
I just feel like I need a couple of days where no one is demanding anything of me, or expecting anything of me, where I can just do my thing and not be questioned about it. I know the 2nd guy (smoker) wants to meet, but I just can't decide if it's even worth it. I cannot possibly describe how much I loathe smoking, and how truly offensive it is to kiss a smoker for me, and how I absolutely will not do it. But why does this guy have to be the nicest, sweetest, most sincere one? Bah. Smoking has always been a dealbreaker for me, so I'm mostly annoyed with myself for missing it on his profile when we first started talking.
Meanwhile, I'm a magnet for guys I've already told I'm not interested in dating...they just KEEP.COMING.BACK. Last night a guy I've turned down twice already contacted me again to ask me out. He got all weird when I AGAIN said no. I've been trying to be nice about it because we met through friends, and we have seen each other at various events and gatherings, and this will continue to happen, but DAMN. How many times do I have to turn you down before you get it? Sigh.
See? This is why I look forward to chex mix more than I do to a date. :-)
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I would get rid of the smoker now before you really start to invest in him. Its a dealbreaker for you, just think how bad he would smell of smoke when he sleeps next to you. I know he is nice, and you like him, but smoking is fucking disgusting.
ReplyDeleteStop being nice to the guys that keep coming back. Something like "I told you already that I wasn't interested, I'M NOT INTERESTED BYE" or whatever. Just because you were nice about it doesn't mean that your "no" means try harder. Fucking dating rapists. YES, I WILL GO THERE! No means no!!
Yeah, you're right. I told him last night that it won't work if he doesn't even have a desire to quit. He doesn't, it's done. It really is just a disgusting habit I can't get past.
DeleteThe other guy I'm only being this nice to because I WILL see him again, many times, at events with mutual friends. I don't want it to be awkward, which it would be if I were a bitch about it. Plus? Being a bitch isn't in my nature, even when sometimes its merited!
A friend of mine was in that situation last Spring. Met a guy that was very well mannered, super nice, active, etc etc but smoked and didn't plan to quit anytime soon. She gave it a go because he didn't seem to have other flaws, but in the end she just couldn't deal with it. For a moment I thought it might be the same guy (he lives in NoVa), but he was in his upper 30s if memory serves.
ReplyDeleteI know I couldn't date a smoker. Biggest turn off ever.
And I don't understand people who keep on going after someone that's turned them down.
Yeah, this guy is only 30 and lives in MD, and has no plans to quit, so I had to stop it. Told him last night, he was disappointed, but understood.
DeleteYeah, the smoking thing is a deal-breaker for me. If he wanted to quit and was making strides to do so, that might be a little bit of a different story but I couldn't handle smoking.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on not being a bitch to that guy. You can't blame a guy for trying - he likes you! Does that mean you should go out with him? Nope, not if you don't want to (and you shouldn't feel badly about that), but there's no reason to be a bitch to someone showing you interest in a harmless way.
Completely agree, on both fronts. He needs to take a hint, though! If it comes up again I'll just be very direct about it, instead of just what I thought was direct the last couple of times, LOL.
DeleteGuys always come back. And the ones you don't like always stick around, they can sense your not interested and love the chase!
ReplyDeleteI really think that's a part of it most of the time...the chase!
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