The Un-Anniversary

Ten years ago today I got married in a little church in the Midwest.  The days leading up to the wedding were gorgeous, sunny and unseasonably warm.  On the Friday before the wedding, it turned cold and snow fell overnight.  On my wedding day I stood outside of the church shivering and cold for pictures.  The landscape matched my white dress, which in retrospect wasn't anywhere near my dream wedding dress. 

March 2, 2002 Wedding
November 2008 Separation
December 2009 Divorce

March 2, 2012 It would have been my ten year wedding anniversary.  Weird.

I'm not really sad, as that marriage was not what it should have been.  I am sad that it ended in the general sense, though.  I never thought I would be a divorced person, but I am.  Guess what?  It's not the end of the world.  I'm still here. 

Life truly does go on.  You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward again.  If you're me (or most people), you fall down about a million more times, but you keep going.  Sometimes you cry about it, sometimes you laugh about it, sometimes you just feel really grateful to have the chance to keep screwing up.  Sometimes the screwing up makes you feel really alive and present and it always, always teaches you something...even if you have to make the same mistake a dozen times before it starts to sink in.

Ten years ago today I made a choice.  I took vows, and I kept them.  Things didn't work out exactly like we'd planned, but I kept my promises and I have no regrets. 

Happy independence anniversary to me.  I'm doing just fine on my own.  :-)