little things, big feeling

I don't know where this is going.  I expect to have a third date, but I've learned not to assume anything, no matter what I think I feel, or how well I think things are going.  But here in this in between place, where I vacillate between happy anticipation and the insecurities and nerves of a teenaged girl, I want to be sure to capture the little pleasures.  Too often (and even today, and probably tomorrow) I dwell on what could go wrong.  How I may get disappointed.  How we might not be ultimately on the same page, or the right match, or that I could be made a fool of.  These are all risks.  I cannot say for sure that any of them will not happen.  But...

* I got picked up for my date friday night, and I felt fluttery nerves as I walked to the car, the sidewalk feeling like a long, weird runway wherein he could see me coming, and I could just see the vague shape of him in his car. [ETA: I told him before he arrived to just let me know when he was there and I would come out.  He would have come to my apartment, but I didn't even tell him which number I was in, LOL].

** He looked adorable.  All of my worries that I wouldn't be as attracted to him this time were quickly assuaged.

*** Dinner was full of flirtation and smiling like an idiot (the latter on my part).  He waited for me to take a bite before he ate.  I asked him why he wasn't eating, he said he was waiting for me.  I asked why, puzzled.  He told me he'd been taught by his father to always let the lady start first.  He teased me about how he was just trying to be polite and I was giving him grief for it.  I had to explain to him that not only had no one ever done that with me before, I'd never even heard of it.  Who knew?

**** We were walking back through Old Town (he drove, so in that case I love Old Town!) and he grabbed my hand.  We were walking along this brick street, past these lovely old homes with bricked in courtyards, it was dark and mostly warm and lovely, and it was intensely sweet.

***** He opened my door for me when we reached the car.  He came around, got in, leaned over and kissed me.  It was so unexpected, but very nice.  Just an innocent kiss, and then he kissed me on the forehead.  He held my hand while he drove.  :-)

****** We came back to my apartment after to hang out for a bit longer.  I put my ipod on the dock for music, and defaulted to Mumford & Sons because it was a safe playlist.  I didn't want to explain any embarrassing music just yet.  ;-) As I turned away from setting the music up, he pulled me to him and we actually danced in my living room.  I am not kidding you.  It was like something out of a book or a movie...something people never actually do, right?  But apparently they do.  Apparently I did.

Don't get me wrong.  He is not all hearts and flowers and swoon and sincerity.  He is hilarious.  He is intensely smart, well spoken and clever.  He is a big flirt.  His sense of humor is over the top at moments.  I definitely sense a mischievous nature, no doubt at all.  But in the in between moments, he is the man who is holding my hand.  Opening my door.  Looking into my eyes.  Complimenting my beauty.  Kissing my forehead.  Holding me close.

Little things.  Big feeling.