Thursday, April 18, 2013

So long, Swoon

So I talked to Swoon last night.  This is a summary of how it went.

CONTEXT: I texted him Tuesday night around 7 or 8pm.  When we met we'd made jokes about me hoping he wasn't a serial killer and him hoping I wasn't a stalker.  Tuesday night I texted him something along the lines of:

Me: "Did we break up already???  [CUE CREEPY STALKER MUSIC HERE.]"

Wednesday night he replies, and jokes:

Swoon: "So how were those dreams? ;-)".

He asked this because we'd joked about having fun dreams after making out for an hour the other night.  I was being a dumb girl and coquettishly (HA!) replied:

Me: "I have no idea what you were talking about!" and then used this moronic angel with a halo emoticon my phone offers. 

So another hour or so passes without a reply, and I find this annoying and decide to just cut to the chase.

Me: "I'm calling shenanigans on your text response time.  This is what I do when I'm not interested in someone."

Swoon: "Well, it was fun.... ;-)"

Me: "Got it.  Take care!"

Swoon:  "Well, I didn't say I was opposed to more of it.  :-)"

This roiled me a bit, so I lied a little bit.

Me: "Sorry, the casual sex position has already been filled.  I'm aiming for something with a little more substance this time around."

Swoon:  "Well, it was fun.  Good luck!"

WTF, mate???

Honestly, it annoyed me and then I laughed.  I prefer this direct acknowledgement that he was just a guy looking for some no strings attached sex than the concept of him stringing me along and PRETENDING to want more until I slept with him and then he left, anyway. 

But still....seriously?  Needless to say, I uninstalled Swoon (the app) and deleted Swoon (the guy).  So long, Swoons!  :-D


  1. Would you mind if stole the 'shenanigans' and the 'casual sex position has been filled' lines?! Those made me laugh out loud, bluemoon! Straight and to the point, easiest BS detector.

    I got rid of Swoon and Tinder too.

    1. Steal away! I made myself laugh in that exchange. :D

  2. Great response!

  3. At least he was honest about it. Figured as much anyway, frat boy and all that. Hot make out sesh, and hopefully he paid for dinner when you guys went out. SEE, THIS IS WHY GUYS SHOULD PAY!

    1. Yeah, as much as I'm all WTF, I'd rather it go this way! Oh yeah, he paid for our food and drinks. After that drive, he paid. ;)

  4. hey! i'm going to use an analogy for this one: in jiu jitsu (and most other things in life), when you are struggling with something, the problem isn't usually what you think it is, it's almost always the step that came right before it. if you keep getting armbarred, the problem isn't that you need to practice your armbar escapes, it's that you are extending your arms out too far (the prior step) and someone is grabbing it. Instead of working the escape, figure out how you got into that position to avoid it. If you are always scrambling to file your taxes on april 15th, the problem isnt' that you need to get better at TurboTax, it's that you need to start doing the prepwork earlier.

    Instead of wasting your time and energy with people who are on a different wavelength, figure out why you weren't on a date with someone on the same path as you. Is there something you could've done before to filter out that other guy? Did you give him more slack for being good looking or charming than you would've otherwise? would a daytime date, or a shorter date have ended differently?

    you've been on dates with quality people, so how did you meet them, and how was the vetting process different from what happened there?

  5. I'm definitely stealing the casual sex one, love it! :)

  6. AMAZING. I am proud of you. As much as it was fun, you have your mind set on what you need, a real relationship, so Swoonie was just a rest stop on your final journey. At least he was a good make out! I applaud your ability to call BS. I have a hard time with this, confronting reality, but it makes you feel sane. Knowing the situation is the only way to begin to navigate it. Swoon's loss.

    1. That's exactly what he was...a very brief, sexy rest stop along the way. :p Swoon's loss, indeed!

  7. Haha I love that you called "shenanigans" on his response time. I am definitely going to use that.

    1. Not gonna lie, I amused myself with my entire handling of the end of that situation. ;)