Monday, May 23, 2011

Damn, I have a lot to say today.

You know what's really, really liberating?  To know that no matter what anyone else thinks, no matter what anyone else wants me to do, thinks I should do, I will ultimately do exactly what I want, and no one can change that. 

I know it is strange to revel so much in this independence, but I guess that for so long I felt like I was under the thumb of my ex, mostly by my own fault.  I let a fear of conflict or additional stress keep me from doing everything I wanted to do, and I felt so held trapped.  So now that I'm free of that burden, I think it just really hits me each time something comes up where the people in my life question my judgment, or tell me how to handle something. 

Sure, I value the opinions of my friends and family.  Yes, I take everything under advisement and consideration.  But I love, love, love that in the end, I will do exactly what I want to do, even if it is the dead opposite of what everyone wants.  This is my life, and these are my mistakes to make, my successes to relish.  I love owning it all, knowing that no matter what happens, I did what I wanted, without undue influence from anyone else.

Liberating, indeed.

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