Monday, August 5, 2013

stop the madness

Most people use the summer months as motivation to get in shape.  They envision beaches and pools and bikinis and shorts and cute dresses and think about how they should work to look their best in all of these summery things.  Me?  I look at summer and apparently I get hungry.  And lazy.  And indulgent.  And so I eat with abandon, and I slack on going to the gym, but maybe 3x a week instead of the six I used to.  And it shows!

I weighed myself this morning for the first time in MONTHS.  I'd been avoiding the scale because I knew.  I knew I'd lost ground, and I didn't want to see it in front of me.  But today I did it, and it was bad.  I've gained back all of my weight I'd lost except for 4 lbs.  Boo.  But honestly, it could have been worse. 

I surprised myself because I didn't cry about it.  I didn't immediately start berating myself over my lack of self control.  I didn't collapse into a puddle on my bathroom floor full of self-loathing and disgust.  I saw the number.  I logged the number on, and I got in the shower.  Instead of going down the dark road, I squared my shoulders and took stock of things.

I've cut my working out down by half.  Half as many workouts each week on my own, and only one weekly session with my trainer instead of two. 

I've been eating horribly.  Not only by quantity, but by quality.  I still eat fruit, but not as often.  I still eat vegetables, but way less than before.  I've been drinking a lot less water unless it's post-workout.  My sodium and sugar intake have been off the charts.  I've indulged in fast food a lot this summer.

So yeah.  OBVIOUSLY I've gained weight back.  Obviously my skin is breaking out a little bit more again.  Obviously.  What did I expect?

There are a couple silver linings to this dark cloud of a reality check this morning.  One, in spite of the weight gain, I feel like I don't look as overweight as I did last year at this time.  I think that's because I'm still more toned than I was.  Two, I know how to fix this.  I have all the tools to make it right, to get back on track.  I'm not aimless like I was before.  So I'm going to use those tools to get back on the better road.  I'm starting today.

I had a nice bowl of Fiber One Honey Squares with skim milk for breakfast.  I have a bowl of mixed berries for a snack.  I'm going to get a salad for lunch.  I'm going to drink a TON of water today.

Also?  I'm instituting some new rules for myself. 
1) Every morning when I get into work, I'm going to drink a big glass of water before I eat or drink anything else.  It helps get my water intake off to a good start, it makes me feel a little bit fuller, and it's good for my skin!

2) I'm going to make an effort to stop distracted eating.  This morning I noticed I was just blindly shoveling cereal in while reading news online.  I caught myself and stopped.  I took the time to focus on the rest of the cereal and finished it without distraction.  Distraction while eating equals eating more without needing to. 

3) Back to walking up and down more stairs or escalators instead of just taking the free ride.  Every little bit helps!

4) Back to the gym with a goal of 6x/week again.  If I can't swing trainer more often, I just need to make sure I do the strength and toning workout on my own at home once or twice more a week at least. 

5) Sleep.  I'm going to try to get my sleep habits under control during the week.  I can't be staying up until 2am.  Not only do I end up having more hours to feel like I'm hungry when I'm not, it just leaves me feeling exhausted during the day, and gives me an excuse to skip out on the gym.  Not okay anymore!

Tonight I'm going to the store to pick up a few staples that I need when I'm doing the whole eating better thing.  This will mean more preparation the night before of breakfasts and lunches, and more planning for dinners and snacks.  I will have to stop buying the trigger foods I can't control myself with, and absolutely, positively, without fail continue to track my food intake and exercise for at least a month or so to get back on track.

I can totally do this.  I've done it before, and I know exactly why I've gained the weight back.  I know exactly how to lose it again.  Here I go again.  :-)


  1. It's so hard, right?! I think a lot of people have the same problem in the summer. I was actually just talking to my trainer about it and she said she struggles too, and she's super fit and a clean eater. But we all slide because of longer days (that lead to ice cream), vacations, and nicer days. So while yes, we show more skin, we also want to just have more fun in general. And fun usually involves snacks and more often than not, slacking on "good" workouts.

    I'm with you. I need to get back on it, too. For reals. But I'm gonna let the week slide because it's birthdya week. I know that's the wrong way to look at it but oh well. :)

  2. I hear you! I am a night owl and E is back to day shifts now - 5:30am to 5:30pm. He can pop right out of bed like it's nothing. I like to take my time stirring before I wake.

    I need to motivate myself to get motivated! I looked at photos of myself the other day at my ideal weight and it feels impossible to get back to there (I use the excuse of being 37 vs. in my early 30's back then, but I know it's just an excuse). I think I am scared I can't get back there, but there are women my age and older who look amazing.

    Thank you for this entry! It is a reminder that I also need to put things in perspective. I am trying to remind myself I have a good base (I don't eat salt/sugar or drink sugar, so that's good). It's just the exercise part getting past the tired.

    I am so inspired by you and you rocked that bikini, girl! You'll shave it right off and I am going to start my own program. Thank you again for the motivation. I'll be right there with you, from 3,000 miles away...

  3. I'm so proud of you for not letting the weight gain make you feel wrecked. I feel like weight is a horrible indicator. Muscle is heavier than fat. Plus - I bet you feel five-thousand times healthier now than you did when you started on your path to fitness. I think you can still be proud of your accomplishments! Plus, you know what you need to do - you're gonna be just fine :-)

  4. I LOVE THIS POST and I relate to every single word you wrote. I have been up, down, and all around when it comes to the scale. The most important thing for me is my own attitude. I control the outcome by the way I treat myself. Old habits die hard, but every little change adds up, too. I know you can do it and I am super proud of your positivity. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!

  5. I had this EXACT moment today. It feels good to not fall apart in tears like I normally would and instead feel appreciative for all the relaxed weeks I've had, accepting of the consequences and motivated that we have the knowledge to fix it! Good luck!!

  6. Good for you for having a positive and realistic attitude - you know how the weight was put on, and you know how it to take it off. There's always ups and downs in the process of losing - at least, that's how it always happens to me and I temporarily freak out before getting back to business.

    People underestimate #3 - every little bit of walking, taking the stairs, parking at the back of the lot, etc. help. It's all about having an active mindset.