Grandfather

I've been MIA for a couple of weeks, but with good reason.  My grandfather passed away the morning of Friday, April 8th.  We all knew it was coming, and he was certainly ready to go.  He went in his sleep that morning and at that point it was honestly a gift.

I flew home to Omaha Sunday and was there until Thursday.  The funeral was Tuesday and I got the chance to spend some time with my family.  The wayward brother was there for almost everything, including the funeral, which was nice, I guess, although weird.  We spent some time going through my grandfather's house, but the project was much bigger than that and will be happening in my absence as well.

It's strange.  Living so far away makes it seem almost not real because I didn't talk to him or see him every day.  But I think about it every day.

I'm doing pretty well.  I take a lot of comfort in the fact that I got to see him in what was probably his last really good few days.  We talked, we laughed, and we made a few final memories for the books. The funeral service was really lovely, and I even managed to get up and read something I'd written without too much struggle until the end.

I came back to work on the Friday after I returned to begin to dig out of the hole of work waiting for me, and then got a weekend to really settle back in.  This week has been work and gym and BF and life stuff and intermittent conversations with various family members about the things left behind to take care of.  I'll be back in Omaha in three weeks with BF, and I'm looking forward to it.

Our family reunion is moving forward as planned, and we think it will be a lovely way to celebrate my grandfather's life and legacy, as he placed so much value on family connections and laughter.

One thing I did realize throughout all of this is that while it was nice to have my wayward brother around again, I don't need it anymore.  I have very low (realistic) expectations of his presence in my life going forward, and that's OK.  The most important thing is that he was there to spend time with my grandfather in the last weeks of his life, and my grandfather left this earth knowing that some bridges were being re-built, no matter how shaky.  Maybe my brothers will keep in touch, I'm not sure.  I don't expect the same on my end, perhaps because of the distance?  Either way, I'm glad we all proved that we could come together for my grandfather to celebrate his life and mourn his passing together.  It's something.