Monday, May 4, 2015

Three Day Work Week

So it's a Monday, but I'm not feeling too bummed about it since I'm only working through Wednesday this week.  :-)  I'm a little tired thanks to two consecutive migraine nights, though. Saturday night was a slow builder that led to me taking two Benadryl before bed in addition to a bunch of Advil.  I still had to get up early and take a migraine pill, but I went back to bed and slept in until 11:30. Thanks, Benadryl!

Last night I went to bed with a dull headache and woke up around 3:45 am with a pounder.  I made my way downstairs to get new ice packs and a granola bar to eat since I need something on my stomach with that migraine pill.  I think it's a double whammy effect of hormones and allergies.  :-/

I'm really hoping that I get a break during this work week because I only have four migraine pills left until the middle of next month, and I definitely want some on hand for the weekend.  I will not have my trip home tainted by a migraine if I can help it!

After I went back to sleep around 4, I had what felt like a huge, long, crazy dream.  The details are fuzzy now, but I think it was basically an anxiety dream about introducing BF to my friends and family in a few days.  I've never dated someone this long without them meeting my family, so I guess it feels like it has a bigger build up!  In some respects I will be glad to just get it over with.  :-p

Plans are coming together for Omaha, which is good.  I'm hoping I can fit everything in that I want to do while also working around all the family events.  I would like to show BF some additional Omaha spots because who knows when he'll come home with me again!  Plane tickets there are so pricy for someone who is not family-bound to visit.  ;-)  Crossing my fingers for good weather because I want to go to the zoo for sure, and lots of our plans are outdoor oriented.

Weekend was nice!  Friday night I met BF and J at a new to us pizza place for dinner after work.  The food was really good, so we were happy!  J requested to ride back to the house with me, so we got a chance to chat on the drive back.  We then ended up sitting in the driveway for over an hour talking, which was pretty awesome.  She really opened up to me a lot, and it was such a good conversation.  I'm walking a fine line between letting her know I'm there for her if she needs me, but not trying to overstep my bounds or rub her mom the wrong way.  I'm not her mom and I'm not pretending to be, but I am her friend and we feel like family at this point.  I think in many ways I'm an easy outlet for her because I'm an adult female who's involved enough, but not so involved as to be her mom.

She told me, amongst other things, that her mom really likes me and is really happy for BF that he found someone like me.  She said he seems happier and that makes things easier.  J also basically told me that she really likes our little family, and again made reference to her being like my kid.  She told me that she was glad her dad was finally dating someone sane, and that she thinks his less than stellar relationship tenures in the past were because he didn't care enough to make it work with the past people for varying reasons---one was too lazy (no job, didn't try to find one), some were crazy, one was rude to J.  We talked about how, in spite of the fact that he bugs her and is a dork sometimes, she is very lucky that he loves her so much and wants her to be involved and not feel left out and to be engaged during her time with us.  We talked about how his frustrations with her mostly stem from him simply not understanding what to do with a teenaged girl. :-D

She also talked to me about feeling like her mom is too free- rein with her.  She gave an example of last week when she skipped gym glass.  She told her mom via iMessage she was going to skip and her mom said something along the lines of, "I'm not here to tell you to go to class, that's your responsibility."  J said that if her mom had told her to go, she would have gone. She said that sometimes she wants and needs that guidance and is the type that will listen if told.  She also talked about figuring out her schedule next year, and how her mom told her to figure it out on her own.  She's been really into drama, but isn't sure she wants to remain focused on that next year.  She's considering getting into writing with a creative writing class, but said that she's very indecisive and sometimes wishes she could get some advice.  I told her that anytime she wants to talk about that kind of stuff, I'm around, even if it's just to have a sounding board to work the decisions out on her own.

I'm trying so hard to be there for her, but not to overstep.  When she was expressing frustration with her mom, in particular about still not having gotten her phone back from two months ago, I tried to explain her mom's point of view, or what I guessed it to be.  Her mom is reacting with anger and punishment to what I see as hurt feelings, and J couldn't see that at first.  I tried to explain that it's easier to just be mad sometimes than to admit your feelings are hurt, and she seemed to consider that more.

We talked about a lot of stuff, and she was just so open with me.  When talking about her grounding, she said something along the lines of, "I think I'm a pretty good kid.  I don't drink, I don't smoke pot, do drugs, I don't have sex (because no one likes me, but whatever)."  Ugh, that killed me!  I totally believe her, too.  She IS a good kid.

Anyway, it was a really good talk.  She let me know that she thinks it would be "so cute" if BF and I got married, and how glad she is we get along.  She is such a bright, insightful girl and hearing her take on BF's past, our current relationship and everything else was just awesome.

MOVING ON from that huge tangent, LOL...Saturday was nice, though busy.  The three of us ran errands until about 3pm.  We came home and made a buffalo chicken dip for the evening, and once J left around 5 it wasn't long before we went to the fight party at his friend's house.  It was actually a really fun night and I felt like I got to know a couple of people a lot better this time around.  We didn't get home until about 1 am because of how late the fight was, and we crashed pretty quickly.

Sunday was the grocery store and then grilling lunch and using BF's new smoker for dinner.  It was our first try at the smoker and it showed...we didn't eat until about 9:45pm.  It tasted awesome, though!

This week should be manageable.  Tonight will be dinner (mahi mahi burgers) and the gym, then hopefully an hour or to of relaxing before bedtime.  Tomorrow night will be quesadillas for dinner in honor of Cinco de Mayo, ha, and gym again.  Wednesday night dinner (sausage and peppers) and, you guessed it, gym!  Thursday we'll hopefully be sleeping in a little, then packing and getting ready for trip.  I want to pick up some flowers for J on the way to her play, and then we get to watch her show!  Friday we're off to Omaha!

Should be a good week, which will be a nice follow up to a really lovely weekend!


  1. J sounds so mature for a teenager. Wow. I learned as a middle school teacher that kids thrive with guidance and structure. Some parents (and teacher's) don't get that. I can't believe her mom told her it was her's not as if she is in college! It's great you all are forming such a close bond.

  2. Oh my goodness, J sounds like an AWESOME kid. I'm glad you guys get along. My mom always says that kids like having boundaries and knowing what they are -- your conversation with her reminded me of that. Hurray for a short week! Hope it goes by quick! And no more migraines!

  3. J sounds very mature for her age, jeez, didn't you say she was 14?? Insane!

    Sucks that insurance limits your migraine pills. I've started getting migraines around PMS time and they are unpleasant, but I doubt they are as serious as yours!

  4. Sorry for my absence on the blog-scene!

    J sounds amazing and I'm glad you guys have such a great bond together! I guess it must be also hard not to overstep boundaries, but sounds like you're doing an amazing job! It's great that she feels so confident to talk to you about her parents and school. You are so caring and patient, sounds like you're a great little family unit!

    Migraines suck. I get them too, and sounds like you're doing the only thing that I would recommend - an ice pack. Hope you feel better soon!

  5. J sounds really mature, and seems like BF and his ex are handling the co-parenting well... she's lucky to have you around! I can't wait to be an adult female figure for my niece (she's only 1.5 right now)... I want to give her advice about boys and life someday :)