Tuesday, February 11, 2014

all good in the hood

Things are good.  :-)

Being in a relationship again is so interesting.  It's been just shy of three years since I've been in one, and this one feels positive.  Healthy.  Refreshing.  I marvel over how seamlessly he's fitting into my life.  How his presence makes me happy, and how his absence makes me miss him, but not need him.  I like that things feel balanced and honest.  

I've never met anyone so direct as he is.  It is breathtakingly different than what I'm used to.  Late last week he messaged me and told me he has a friend he used to date seven years ago, and that they get together about once a month for dinner.  He said they were due for another catch up dinner, but he wanted to tell me about it so it didn't seem like something it wasn't.

I told him I had no problem with it, and reminded him that I'm also friends with my ex (husband) and that we also get together on occasion.  "If you're okay with mine, I'm okay with yours."

He told me, "As long as I don't have any reason to worry, I'm fine with it, and you've given me no reason to worry."  And so there that was.  This conversation I'd been worried about having just happened, and it was without any fanfare or drama or illogical jealousy.  I appreciate that he just directly told me about it so that I didn't find out about it after the fact,  or that it didn't seem hidden or weird.  That's what I'm used to. Also? At the end of that conversation he told me, "I'm fully committed to a long term relationship with you, so I want to make sure we do these things right," or something similar.  Better yet?  It didn't scare me to hear.  :-)

Our dynamic makes me want to bring the best version of myself to the table.  That's a good sign!  I am grateful every day for meeting someone that so far has been so fantastic, and who I feel fantastic with.  He makes me laugh every day, he makes me feel appreciated and wanted and valued for my brain, my humor and my cuteness.  ;-)  

None of my friends have met him yet, but they all love him already, based exclusively on what they've heard, and how happy I seem.  "You're giddy when you talk about him," one friend told me over the phone.  I guess I am!

Last night he video chatted with his family and told them about having a girlfriend.  Last week he went out to a hockey game and dinner with his guy friends and told them about having a girlfriend.  I've actually managed to refer to him as "the boyfriend" a couple of times when talking about him!  This is progress for me.

I'm meeting his 13 year old daughter on Saturday, weather permitting.  She's known about me for a bit already, and we're just doing dinner at a Mexican place of her choosing.  I know it may seem early to some, but she's older, her parents haven't really been together in her lifetime, and she seems fine with it.  I think I'm more worried about it than anyone else, and that's only because I've never been in this situation before.  I think it should be fine, though.  Crossing fingers!

I spent so long worrying about how I'd acclimate to being in a relationship again.  Worrying about how to fit someone into my life after so long on my own.  Wondering if I could maintain a healthy balance, or if I'd fall back into old patterns.  

It's early.  I'm not kidding myself here, this is all still very new.  But so far it's going really well, and I feel like this is just the beginning.  I have a really good feeling about Bluefish, and about us together, and I'm excited to see where things go.  Each day is a tiny new adventure with him, each day I get to know him better and vice versa, and so far that's only making me like him more.  :-)


  1. I'm glad everything is working out well for you. Your story will soon become one of the Urban Legends of dating, "Meeting a good guy on PoF". Although, meeting the daughter! Big step! That would make me super nervous as well. Hopefully she picks a Mexican restaurant with churro's to make things less awkward. Churro's fix everything.

    1. I don't know about churros, but there is tres leches cake, and that is ALWAYS a good thing!

      I yearn to become a dating urban legend! :-D

  2. You strike me as a fairly realistic person, not at all delusional about relationships. So if your gut instincts are telling you this is good, then it probably is! :)

    1. Thank you! I continue to feel really good about things, and it's such a nice change!

  3. How direct and honest he is is very refreshing! It makes all the potentially awkward moments in a new relationship much easier. I love your updates, so please keep writing :)

    1. Thank you! I am loving this lately and it just keeps getting better. :-)