Monday, November 11, 2013

things fall apart so that other things can fall together

I read the quote from the title of this post somewhere today, and I loved it.  Things fall apart so that other things can fall together.  I like the idea of that.  I think it's oftentimes true.  I hope it continues to be true because I have a couple of things falling apart right now, and I'd like to see the silver lining of it all.  They are not big things in the grand scheme, mind you, but still.

Trainer.  I love him personally, but am beginning to really dislike him professionally.  Too bad I just bought another batch of sessions!  I feel like he is very good at the actual personal training part of his job, but he is lousy at the business side of it.  He's not hugely reliable.  He's impulsive and irresponsible at times, and not hugely apologetic when it happens.  Saturday I had a session with him scheduled for noon.  I showed up a couple minutes early, waited for him to meet me at the door (it's a secured building).  I texted him about 12:05 to tell him I was there.  I left at 12:17 when I hadn't heard anything from him.

About 12:35 I get two consecutive texts from him.  "Are you not getting my messages?" and then, "Hello?"  I wrote back and told him that I'd not received anything other than those two messages right then. He replied and said he was running fifteen minutes late.  I don't know if that was an older message, or if he was saying that's what he'd told me before, or what.  It didn't matter.  It was 12:35, and I told him, "Bottom line, I waited until 12:17 for a 12pm appt., and when you didn't show or reply, I left.  I'm already home."  I didn't get a reply after that.

He is supposed to get weekly schedules out on Sunday.  I didn't get anything, so I emailed him this morning.  I got a schedule about an hour later.  For this week.

Pet peeve?  I cannot get a standard appt. to save my life.  It is apparently impossible, so my training day switches from one week to the next.  It drives me nuts because I don't get the schedule until Sunday or Monday, so I can't make any plans for the week until then.  Is it so unreasonable to ask for a Tuesday 7pm appt. every week?

I made an appt. with a small group training gym for women in the area for Thursday.  I'm going in for an introductory session and meeting.  Groups of four max with a trainer.  I am considering it.  Granted, pricing will be a factor, but it's something I'm looking into.  Like I said, I already have 20+ sessions remaining with my current trainer.  I would lose money if I sold them to another client, so either way, I will probably just keep them and use them up.  I don't know if I'll even like the new place, but it can't hurt to look.  Maybe the group setting would motivate me more, or be enough of a change to spark something in me.  We'll see.

All I know is my trainer is increasing his pricing packages come the new year (still super reasonable compared to others in the area), and I do not intend to pay more for this kind of service.  We're either going to have a come to Jesus throwdown talk in order for me to stay if I dislike this new place, or I'll use up my remaining sessions with him while transitioning to the new place.  Thursday will be interesting!  I see my trainer on Wednesday and have yet to decide how I'm going to approach him about things.

The other falling apart thing is just Artboy, but that's just a continuation.  I haven't reached out to him in two weeks, and he's reached out to me in a completely useless, idle ways maybe three times.  It can't even be called conversation mostly.  It still makes me sad.  I don't understand why it is happening like this, but ultimately, I can't change it.  I can't make him explain it, I can't force understanding my way.  I have to just let it go, stop seeking him out, move on.

In other news, I finally finished reading "Night Film" and I loved it.  I was disappointed when it was over because I just enjoyed the experience of reading it.  In spite of some very passionate conflicting reviews (READ: People seem to either adore it or loathe it), I really liked it and am glad I read it.  I picked up a new book "S." by JJ Abrams, which is a whole other kind of puzzle.  Not sure when I'll get into that one!

I also saw "About Time" yesterday with some girlfriends.  I'm not usually much for chick flicks, and I'm not really in a great rom-com frame of mind, but this movie was so much more than just a rom com.  It had dramatic elements, it had a great message without being cloying.  It's a movie that made me laugh and cry, and just smile a whole hell of a lot. I highly recommend it!

The dating thing is the same merry go round.  Getting to know people, wondering if they are losing interest, wondering if I am, wondering if we'll meet.  Who knows!


  1. I don't know why you bought 20 more sessions with Trainer if he is being like this. I would use them up and move along to someone else. I'm sure the extra $ will be towards someone who acts professional!! That is just fucking rude! You continuing to buy sessions from him just lets him know that you are A-OKAY with his behavior. Time to say something.

    Artboy, I mean, friends with benefits doesn't work. EVER. I learned this multiple times in my dating past, and I know that you already know this. I think that you are right in saying its time to stop seeking him out.

    I liked Night Film till the end. I didn't even mind when he went to the Island. It was just the abrupt ending. I was like "REALLY?!?! After 600+ pages, that's it???" Plus the fact that everyone else's character just wrapped up neatly in a happily ever after? After the author spent so much time drolling on about useless bullshit about them? Like Nora at the bus depot when she first arrived to NYC, why was that relevant to the story? It wasn't!

    I think we are both jaded daters. I really don't know how to fix that problem either. Let me know if you figure it out.

    1. I bought ten more sessions with trainer, and this was before his recent lapse back into unreliability. After the last bout of frustration i talked to him about things and they were notably better. The extra ten were discounted because they were being sold by another client who just found out she was pg.

      I have no issue using up my existing sessions with him, even if I decide to switch trainers ultimately. I really like him as a person and think he's a very good trainer, he just needs to get his act way together when it comes to the practicalities of it all, you know?

      You're right about Artboy, and it's been a long time coming. I've known it, just had to come to it in my own time in order for it to stick.

      As far as the book, I didn't mind the ending. It worked for me somehow, and didn't seem too over the top tied up in a bow. I just really enjoyed it as a whole. :-)

      And we are definitely jaded daters. I don't know if there is a solution beyond somehow stumbling upon someone decent! Sigh.

    2. He sounds like as an actual trainer, his practice is good, but he is a Flake. Capital F. Waiting on people is my number 1 pet peeve.

    3. No argument there! And yeah, I'm not super patient myself, especially in professional settings.

  2. I just got Night Film from the library! Have to finish the one I'm reading (I can only handle one at a time), and I can't wait to get to it!

    As for the rest . . . let it fall apart. I need AMAZING things to be falling together for us both! :)

    1. I hope you enjoy the book like I did. :-)

      I'm with you on the rest. Doing my best to let the things fall apart that should so that everything good can fall together (for both of us!) :-)

  3. A few people have said that About Time is the new Love Actually, did you feel that way? Of course, this would assume you think Love Actually is the highest form of motion picture, like I do :)

    I didn't know JJ Abrams wrote a book. I'll have to check it out, being a fan of Lost and Alias.

    1. I have to confess...I think I've only seen Love Actually once and it was years and years ago, and I don't know if I saw the whole thing. :-o So I can't compare it!

      I also apparently misspoke on the book. JJ Abrams conceived the idea, someone named Doug Durst wrote it. It's billed as a collaborative effort!