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Monday, December 10, 2012

Oh, bother

So for the last few weeks, I was trying something out.  Rather, I was trying *someone* out. 

Has there ever been a food you didn't like, but that you kept trying again to see if your tastes changed?  Probably it's one of those things that most people like, that you logically KNOW is good for you, but no matter how many times you try it, your mouth is still bored or just turned off?

That's what happened to me.  I met this guy in mid-November.  We got together probably 6-7 times over the course of the next few weeks.  We kissed.  I won't even say we made out because honestly, it never got that involved.  He's great on paper.  He's cute, he has bright blue eyes.  He owns a house, he has a good job, he used to be in the military, he's close to his family. 

But it just didn't work.  At first I was hopeful.  He was so sweet and sincere, but was also pretty funny and very gentlemanly.  However, the more we hung out, the more things started to prickle at me about him.  Every time we parted ways he told me "Don't be a stranger". 

Today I finally had to give up on the whole thing.  It wasn't clicking.  It stopped clicking awhile ago.  I preferred being alone to his company.  I got tired of his late habit of calling me "buddy".  I began to wonder if he actually had any friends, as I don't think he's mentioned doing a single social thing since we started talking.  Not one.  :-/

Great on paper, not great for me.  I'm good with that.  I am surprising myself by not feeling nostalgic about missing out on a relationship for the holidays.  I am continually surprised by how happy I am doing my own thing, by how happy I am alone. 

If the right one comes along, maybe I'll be ready and willing to give up more of my "me" time.  Maybe I won't feel resentful, or smothered, or annoyed.  Maybe the puzzle piece will just fit better, and I won't be trying to force it because I "should" want a boyfriend or because my mom is desperate for me to pair up, or because I need some solid man type to kiss on New Year's Eve. 

Some things, some foods, some people, are just not my taste, and no matter how much I try to change it, to re-train my (dating) palate, the plain truth remains....if you have to force it, it's probably not right, anyway.  :-)

9 comments:

  1. Yeah, you can't force a connection. I tried that with Stanford, it was a no go. I'd rather be alone than with someone I wasn't into.

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    1. Exactly, and that's exactly why I had to stop that train that was going nowhere. I'm the one dating him, so if it's not working for me, it's not working.

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  2. I'm a stickler for my "me" time too. Please, prove to me that you're worth giving up my 1-2 hours a night of music and art - maybe then I'll give it to you!

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    1. Someday I imagine that someone will prove their worth in both of our lives! For me, right now, it's just not happening, and I'm good with that. :)

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  3. What I really want to know is how things are going with the hot guy at your gym! :)

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  4. I would be totally turned off by a guy calling me "buddy". I wouldn't be able to give up all of my "me time" either. After a brutal day in the office, it's what keeps me sane.

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    1. RIGHT???? He's the second guy to do that to me. Way to turn me off entirely. :/

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