Vacation, all I ever wanted

So I wanted to do a quick recap of my weekend getaway with BF.  It was fabulous.  :-)  The cabin was adorable!  It was modern enough that I felt comfortable, as I'm not a roughing it kind of girl.  It had a steep, winding driveway and was totally secluded from other houses nearby, backing up to miles of national forest. There was a deck, a hot tub, a fire pit and a hammock outside.  We took advantage of all, though the hammock was better in theory than in reality.

We grilled most of our meals, we roasted marshmallows over the fire pit, we watched gorgeous sunsets from the deck, and we spent so much time in that awesome hot tub, probably twice a day.  It was the best way to end each evening, with the trees swaying in the breeze around us.

We also went to the Luray Caverns, which was really cool.  I'd never been to the area, so it was all new to me!  We did the Garden Maze at the Caverns, which was a lot of laughs.  It took us awhile, but we managed to get out!  Beyond that, we did a brief section of Skyline Drive, which was gorgeous.  Spectacular views and just a fun little afternoon adventure.

I was so pleased with how we did together on this trip.  We got along insanely well, and I never felt crowded or tired of him, or frustrated with him.  We were just so in sync, and I think it was a really great relationship moment for us.  It happened to fall over our four month anniversary, too, which was nice!  We met a pretty cool milestone in that cabin in that we finally said I love you to one another.  I'd been feeling it for awhile, and I'd promised myself that when the feeling became too much to keep inside I'd tell him.  So we were standing there in the living room of the cabin in a long hug, and I just blurted out, "So, I love you".  He told me he loved me back, that he'd been in love with me for quite awhile, probably since too early on, and that he'd already decided this was going to be the weekend he told me.  I beat him to it.  :-)  The important thing was that we're both on the same page.

It was so liberating to have that out in the open, so I don't have to keep thinking it on a loop and not saying it, or sending him emoticon hearts in our texts as my own secret way of telling him without telling him.  We both reveled in the freedom a bit, and the rest of the weekend was peppered with statements like, "I'm so glad I can finally tell you how I feel" and such things.  It felt really amazing to share that, and I know that Luray will always hold a special place for me now!

Coming back to reality after the trip was hard, but we gained so much from the trip that it was all worth it. We are in such a good place, and are already planning our next trips!  We are planning on a week long (!!!) trip to the beaches in Outer Banks for Labor Day week, and then a trip to Omaha again probably in late September, for which he'll be joining me.  :-)  We also aim to fit in another more local weekend getaway between now and the beach, but first we're focusing on the other two and getting them situated.

Things are good.  I am happy.  :-)

It's a Good Thing

It's a good thing I'm not getting ahead of myself in this young relationship.

It's been four months of dating now.  We're in a really good place.  I know that sometimes, especially when people reach their thirties and later, romances become whirlwinds, and people end up engaged after a couple months, married at six months.  That's not us.  It's not us now, and it won't be us.  He's pretty cautious, and I'm pretty cautious.  I'm okay with that for now.

If I were getting ahead of myself, I would worry about the fact that he lives an hour away, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on traffic.

I would worry that, while he works twenty minutes from me now, he's going to be interviewing for a job that is forty minutes from me, and twenty minutes closer to his house.  I would worry that our weekday visits would be so much harder to manage, if not impossible.

If I were getting ahead of myself, I would worry that my last great hope of making a logical play to get him to move closer to the city if we stayed together will disappear if that job comes through.

Sure, his daughter lives midway between us.  Sure, I live in Alexandria and work in DC.  But if that job materializes, my third and final argument about him working near where his daughter lives would be gone.

I lived about forty five minutes away from everything for Angry Ex.  He worked in the city we lived in, I still worked in DC. He made me promises of dinners every night, and other accommodations to ease the fact of my commute.  He lived up to none of them. I resented him for it, and I vowed two things:

1) I vowed to never move in with a guy again until I have a ring on my finger and a commitment.  We don't have to be married, but we have to be engaged with a plan.

2) I vowed to never move that far away from my job again.

For the first time, I handled news like this like an adult.  I didn't automatically make it about me, or how it would affect us.  I encouraged him to apply for the new job if it's what he wants.  I told him he'd worked hard enough to deserve it and put in the time (it's within his same company).  I commented on how it would improve his commute.  He told me that from all sources he has, including his past supervisor and current supervisor, the job is probably his if he wants it.

In my head, I was not quite so calm, but I realized that was my own nonsense, and it was way too early to worry about anything in this vein.  I knew that it would have been wrong of me to project my own practical concerns onto him at this point, when the job is just a possibility.  I knew it would be wrong to pull focus from the excitement about a great professional opportunity to indulge my own insecurities.

Also?  Somewhere inside, beneath the surface worry, I know we would be okay.  We would work around it.  We would make a new normal if this new job becomes a reality.  I can't conquer all the long-term battles, I can't know how we would deal with the living situation if we ever decided to cohabitate, but the ones about how our day to day relationship would change during this dating period?  Manageable.  Completely workable.  I know we both care enough to sacrifice a little more driving, a little more inconvenience, to make time to see each other during the week no matter where we work or live.

After we'd talked about it for awhile, he said, out of nowhere, "Don't worry.  I haven't forgotten about our weekday time at your place."  With those words, he addressed the unspoken, and it felt better to have him remind me that I was obviously going to be factored in than it would have if I'd called attention to my plight on my own.  In past relationships, I would have gone down that road immediately.  What about how this affects me??  We'll never see each other!!!  Oh well, whatever.  It sucks, and I'm going to make you feel really bad about it, but then tell you not to feel bad, even though I passive aggressively want you to feel bad. So unhealthy.

None of that happened here, and I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of him.  These are little things, but I love the way we are handling them:  matter of factly, as they come, with a confidence that we'll make it work.

It's a good thing I'm not getting ahead of myself here.  ;-)

spaghetti arms

It's been a busy week in Bluemoonland!  Tonight is going to take the cake for the week, though.  Upon my arrival back home after work around 6:15, I have to clean up my apartment, do a load of laundry, paint my nails, go to the trainer and pack.  I also have maybe plans to get to Target for a couple of things, but that may fall by the wayside.

*  I met with my new trainer on Tuesday for our first session.  It was brutal, mostly because I hadn't done any training in over a month and because I've slacked on cardio AND diet.  :-o  However, I think this trainer is perhaps a bit more challenging in some of the technique and details of how exercises are performed.  I already dread going back for session #2 tonight, and will probably keep dreading him for the first month, but I know it will be good for me.  Once I build back up my cardio endurance with my own workouts I'm sure that will help, plus just getting back in the training groove.

My arms and core are super sore from Tuesday, so I imagine tonight will be legs.  I fear the intense soreness that follows a leg workout, and am super thankful I'll have access to a hot tub this weekend.  Ha!

The nice thing is that I have two set sessions every week, same day, same time.  No more of that waiting until Sunday night to get old trainer's schedule, wherein my session moved from day to day and time to time. Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8:30 pm, I'm there.  Yeah, it sounds late, but I usually go to the gym on my own around 8:30 or 9 pm, so it actually matches my pre-existing schedule.

** Last night I went out to dinner with BF, two girlfriends and R, a guy friend of mine who was in town for work.  BF had only met one of my gfs, so he got to meet two more people in my world.  R is a bit overwhelming conversationally and personality-wise, so it wasn't a flashy debut for BF, but I think it went well and we all had a good time and an obscene amount of laughs!

*** Tomorrow after work BF and I head to a cabin in the Luray/Shenandoah Valley area for the weekend.  I'm really looking forward to our first getaway!  The cabin has a hot tub, a deck with a gorgeous view, an outdoor fire pit, a grill and a hammock, LOL.  I'm excited to take a break from the day to day and just spend a weekend with BF, being outside, enjoying the weather, checking out the Luray Caverns and other little local attractions.

****  Next week after our return on Monday afternoon, my week kind of blows up into craziness.  We have tentative plans for dinner that night with BF's daughter, arranged since he won't have her this weekend. Tuesday night is trainer, Wednesday night is going to BF's daughter's latest play.  Thursday trainer, Friday is a luncheon at work for  a cool cause I've been involved in.  I'm HOPING Friday night stays good and empty, because Saturday morning I have the Susan G. Komen 5K Walk/Run with a team from work, and tentative plans with a friend in the afternoon.  I imagine I'll end up out at BF's either later Saturday or Sunday as well.   My poor cats are going to forget who I am!  ;-)

***** I got a Fitbit Flex last week.  I'm competing with a couple of friends and a friend from work so far.  It's a good little motivator to take the stairs instead of the escalator and such.  Some days are easier than others, and I'm still working out the kinks on making sure it catches my elliptical workouts!  Cool little gadget, though.

****** I secretly long for a full night where I can just come home, get into comfy pjs and marathon some DVR while eating takeout Chinese.  I need a night of Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU.  I can probably have a tiny version of this tonight before gym and after gym, but the gym interruption throws off my flow, and there's definitely not going to be any Chinese takeout.  :-o

That's all I've got for this post right now.  Don't you hate when you're at work and all you can think of is all the things at home or at least NOT at work you should be doing??

*******  I forgot...reading "The Interestings" and LOVING it.  Wish I had time to do that more, too!

Pet Peeved

One of my biggest pet peeves is being ignored.  It drives me nuts when someone can't be respectful enough to respond to me, especially when it's work or business related.  This week is young, but already it is rich with frustration!

#1 Offender:  My ex-trainer.  Did I mention I'm dumping his sorry ass?  He was great for about a year, but his priorities have shifted, and suddenly I was getting screwed over.  He's literally not had me on the schedule since the week before my breast biopsy.  WTF?  That's just about a month.  I tried to contact him about it in the first couple of weeks, and he basically ignored me, or gave me blow off responses.  I finally told him I wanted to sell my remaining sessions.  He acted all faux apologetic, telling me he has too many clients and not enough time, and that it wasn't fair to me.  Meanwhile, his website was advertising a referral special.  It's been nearly two weeks and my sessions are STILL NOT SOLD.  I just want to wash my hands and be done with him, but I can't until I get my money.  He's leaving for a Vegas trip tomorrow until Sunday, so I'm sure I'm not going to be seeing any money anytime soon.  You better believe that once I'm done with him, I'm revising my year old Yelp Review to reflect the kind of business he's operating now.

#2 Offender: Everyone I work with.  Ok, not really.  But I feel like I've been chasing a handful of people around for verging on two weeks, and NO ONE WILL GIVE ME WHAT THEY OWE ME.  I'm not chasing them around for my own enjoyment.  I'm tired of being willfully ignored, and I'm also tired of the others who give me BS excuses for their own laziness.  It holds me back from doing my job when others won't do theirs.  You better believe I'm saving documentation of all of these exchanges so I'm not held accountable for the slacking of others.

I've decided to just try to step back from these frustrations and realize I can't do more than I am already.  I can follow up with my POS ex-trainer every couple of days or realistically, every week, but I can't force him to sell my sessions ASAP.  I will have to just pay for new trainer sessions out of my check tomorrow and not be too pissed off about it.  I'm going to focus on the good things, which include meeting this new trainer tonight, and hopefully getting a fresh bout of motivation from a new person.  I'm also pretty afraid I'm going to pass out from exhaustion since I have not worked out with a trainer in  over a month, and so my body is out of practice.  I've also been slacking on the cardio, which I need to remedy.  I've gone Sunday and Monday, though, which is a step in the right direction again.

Anyway, that's my vent for now.  Wish me luck with the new trainer tonight!

Wednesday should be Thursday

I had big plans for productivity last night.  I was going to do some things around my apartment, do laundry, get to the gym, and paint my nails.  I ended up laying around for longer than planned, eating popcorn on the stove for dinner, watching Dance Moms and some other assorted nonsense.  I stripped my nails, but never managed to get new polish on them.  I am not exaggerating when I say this NEVER HAPPENS.  I am known for my constantly changing, always in reasonably good shape manicures.  My nails feel so naked today!  I had bought a new color I thought I liked, but I put it on my toes last night and it was a bit blah.  It's fine for my feet for now I guess, but it's just not the right mood for my fingernails.  I need something bright and spring-y to pretend that it is NOT in the thirties outside and that I did NOT spend last evening listening to freezing rain pelt my window briefly.  :-o  I may actually just go get a manicure over lunch.  I like to do that periodically to get my nails back in shape since I don't do all of the maintenance on a daily basis personally.

I have maybe plans for dinner tonight with some girlfriends.  If it works out, great, but if not that's okay.  I MUST do at least one load of laundry.  I probably actually have 3-4 loads to do, an accumulation of blankets, towels, and other assorted nonsense, but I can get all the most pressing items in one load.  Beyond that, I definitely need to get to the gym again tonight.  These are my goals!  Laundry & gym.  I dream big, folks!  ;-)

So BF left this morning for his twee family trip to Williamsburg.  He said his family asked if I were coming.  I cannot imagine having my first meeting being on a family trip whereupon we'd all be stuck together for three days in shared space!  He'd asked me about it when they originally planned the trip, and I declined, telling him it was too soon.  I guess it's nice that they asked!  He did say that I'm expected at Easter dinner now, which is fine since I told him I'd go to that.

I've been reading quite a bit lately.  I read "Divergent" after seeing the movie.  Pretty enjoyable, but I suspect I would have liked it better if I'd seen it before the movie, or at least given it some time before I jumped into the book.  Did buy Insurgent, though,and will read that eventually.  I read this fluffy little book called "New England Witch Chronicles" LOL.  It's basically a YA witchy book, but I did enjoy it.  It's a series, so I bought the second book, "Conjured", which is on my to be read list eventually as well.  I also read the Veronica Mars Book, "The Thousand Dollar Tan Line", which is a god awful title.  However, it picked up right where the movie left off, I love Veronica Mars, and I really enjoyed the book. I will definitely continue to read this series just because of my love for the characters.

Right now I'm reading "Come Home" by Lisa Scottoline.  Not the best writing, first of all.  However, the story is decent and I feel compelled to finish it.  It's just one of those books that I feel would have benefited a lot from stronger writing.  Some of it feels a bit juvenile, like something I'd have written in high school.  It's weird, because the reviews for this book talk about what an awesome writer she is, but I just....something about it doesn't click right with me.  Again, good story, meh writing.

I have one more book on my Kindle waiting to be read, and that's "You Should Have Known" by Jean Hanff Korelitz.  I've heard rave reviews about this, so I'm interested to see what I think of it.  Same goes for "The Goldfinch", which I recently picked up in Target and desperately wanted.  It's one of those rare hardbacks that just felt good in my hands.  I decided to order it from Amazon, but now that the book just won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction, it's back ordered by a couple of days, and I'm thinking I may just give in and buy it in Target.  Sometimes the instant gratification is just nice!  I shouldn't be in a rush since I have so many other things to read still!

Anyway, that's all I've got for now.  Happy Wednesday!

April Showers

So it is pouring rain outside today.  It has been for the bulk of the day.  I stupidly left my apartment to catch my bus wearing flats, considering only briefly running to switch into my rain boots.  I decided I was running too late and figured I'd be fine to at least get into the office.

HA.  I came up from the escalator to ground level in DC and it was a straight up deluge of rain.  My pants were soaked by the time I got to work.  It took nearly two hours to get dry.  It continues to pour outside the windows, and I do not look forward to my commute home.  I will at the least be changing into tennis shoes to minimize SOME rain on my feet.

Work last week was crazy busy.  I was super productive as soon as I got that weight off of my shoulders.  I got a ton of work done and cleared off my desk and I felt really good about it.  This week the focus has shifted back to my day to day tasks, and yesterday was essentially a big walking headache.  I managed to survive it, though, and my friend A and I rewarded ourselves by going to Wendy's for dinner.  It was just what the stress doctor ordered.  ;-)

I had a really good weekend.  Possibly one of the best I've had yet with Bluefish.  I went out his way Friday night after work.  We had eaten dinner separately since I don't get out there until 8 or so, so we went and shared a red velvet concrete for dessert before going to see "Oculus".  I love a good scary movie, and I enjoyed this one.  He was mostly indulging me, but it all balances out!

Saturday we had a bit of a lazy morning, and then headed to brunch.  We got to eat outside since the weather was so gorgeous, and it was such a nice change after the neverending winter.  After brunch we ran several random errands.  We stopped for groceries after in order to procure food for grilling that night.  We spent the evening outside on BF's deck, enjoying the lovely weather, listening to a NASCAR race (told you, balance!) and eating chicken and steak kabobs with corn on the cob.

Sunday BF made pancakes for breakfast, which was sweet.  We then went miniature golfing (I won!) and to Costco, because we are glamorous like that.  We spent the afternoon sitting outside on the deck again, listening to the Nats baseball game and then grilling hot dogs for dinner.  I finally packed it up and headed home after we ate, as it was a long drive home.

By the time I got home I had a raging migraine, probably a combination of allergies and hormones.  I spent the rest of the night feeling pretty miserable, finally falling asleep around 11 pm thanks to a cocktail of meds designed to knock me out.

So this week BF is spending Wednesday through Friday in Williamsburg with his daughter, mother, sister, brother in law and nephew.  They are all coming back to his place Friday to stay until Tuesday.  The current plan is to go to the zoo on Saturday, and do Easter dinner Sunday.  I'm invited to both events.  :-o

It's a good thing, I guess.  I'm a bit nervous, but it will be what it will be, I guess!  No idea where BF and I are headed in general.  We had a big talk last Wednesday night and cleared the air on a lot of issues that had been lingering between us, mostly just communication issues.  I think it was a necessary discussion, though it was three hours of fun (sensing my sarcasm here?).  :-)  Anyway, we managed to have a really good weekend after, so I guess that's a good sign!

We also have a short weekend getaway planned for May 3-5.  We got a cute, modern cabin in the Shenandoah Valley near Luray for a couple of nights.  It has a hot tub, an outdoor fire pit, pretty views.  I'm excited to get out of the DC Metro for a couple of days and see how we fare!

Anyway, that's my latest, long-winded update.  Thanks for plodding along through that novel!

Download

So there's been a lot going on over the course of the last two weeks.  I had my annual exam a couple of weeks ago and during the appt. my Dr. recommended that I get a baseline mammogram.  I'll be 36 in June, but because my paternal grandmother had breast cancer, she wanted to start me a bit early.  I went ahead and made the appt. for two weeks ago today.  I went in and it wasn't a big deal.  I'd heard widely varying assessments of it being mildly uncomfortable to very painful, but it didn't bother me at all.

That Thursday the radiologists office called me and told me that they wanted me to come back in for some more pictures and possibly an ultrasound.  They'd found a mass on my right breast that they wanted to take a further look at.  Of course I panicked.  I was able to make an appt. for the following day, as I'm all about getting these kind of things resolved as quickly as possible.

I went into the office and had a spot compression mammogram done, which was basically just a smaller, more specific mammogram.  I then had an ultrasound done, during which the tech and then Dr. confirmed there was a mass.  They told me it looked like it was probably something called a fibroadenoma, which is a benign kind of tumor that is apparently very common in women in their twenties and thirties.  However, they said that sometimes things could present with those characteristics and turn out to be something else, so they would need to do a biopsy to confirm.

I scheduled the biopsy for this past Wednesday.  I could have had it done sooner if I didn't have ibuprofen in my system, as I had to be ibuprofen-free for five days since it can act as a blood thinner.  One of my girlfriends picked me up for a Starbucks coffee date, and then we went to the office for the biopsy.  It was in-office and took about thirty minutes.  They used a local anesthetic and it was basically painless.  I've had cervical biopsies before, and I think they use a similar tool for getting the sample.  I didn't look at it, but it sounds like a hole punch.

They took three samples and also left a clip in me that acts as a marker.  They explained that if it turned out to be a fibroadenoma, it would tell future radiologists that this spot has already been biopsied, and if something was wrong, it would tell future surgeons where to go.  I had one more mammogram before I left the office to confirm that the clip was in the right place, and then they wrapped my chest in a big old ace bandage afterwards, and I left the office with my bra in my purse and a sheet of aftercare instructions. I was told I couldn't shower for 24 hours (ugh), among other things.

My girlfriend took me to lunch after that once she confirmed I was up for it.  I took some Tylenol for the soreness, and she joked that that was the most flat chested she'd ever seen me...I was bound like a girl trying to hide her boobs!  I went home after that and just relaxed.  I tried to get comfortable, I iced my poor boob like I was told to.

I'd asked BF to come over that evening after work, as he knew what was going on.  He arrived around 4pm and we later had crockpot tacos for dinner.  I'd planned ahead for once!  He earned many boyfriend points that day and was asking me what I needed, listening to me vent my fears, distracting me when I needed it, and just generally taking care of me.  My other good girlfriend, A, also stopped by to check on me later that night.  I felt very loved!

I kept the following days as full as I could.  They'd told me it would take 2 days to a week to get the results back.  Thursday I kept myself busy as I could with mundane things around the house once I got home from work.  Friday I went to happy hour with some friends, then got home and crashed HARD by 10pm. Saturday I went to the chiropractor and I ran errands all day long.  Then I met with a girlfriend for dinner and ice cream, and she came over after to hang out.  A came by and joined us, and we just had a nice, impromptu girls night in that evening.  Sunday morning I went to brunch, then to the grocery store, and that night I was super productive around my apartment and wrapped up the night at the gym.

By Monday my patience was wearing thin.  I became convinced I wouldn't hear anything until Wednesday.  I was getting incredibly stressed.  Around three PM, the Dr. who did the biopsy called.  He informed me that it was, in fact, a fibroadenoma, and advised me that I would need to come back in for a 6 month follow up ultrasound just to monitor it.  Bottom line?  I was okay.

I felt such a huge, massive, overwhelming wave of relief, and when I hung up the phone I nearly burst into tears.  I went out to a friend's desk at work and told her, and she gave me a tremendous hug and I felt the weight of the last two weeks lifting off my shoulders.  I relayed the news to those who'd been there for me during the whole thing, and I felt this intense joy and happiness and gratitude for all of the good things in my life, all of the amazing people.

I know some people probably don't think this is a big deal.  They told me it was probably something benign, maybe I was just getting worked up over nothing.  But it was a big deal to me because I didn't know for sure, and it was incredibly stressful.  I spent a week and a half wondering if something really wrong was going on with my body, and wondering how I would deal with it, and if I would be okay.  It made me hesitate booking a weekend getaway in May, it made me unable to focus on anything beyond finding out that news.

Today the only remaining signs of this experience are the steri strips that are hanging on like champs onto my right breast, and the clip they left inside me.  When I went in for that mammogram, I thought I was just getting a baseline for future mammograms.  It didn't work out that way, and I found out that that's pretty common for first time mammograms.  They have nothing to compare it to, so everything can easily be irregular.  I found out that even ultrasounds and biopsies are not hugely uncommon results of first mammograms.  I never knew that.  It was a scary, stressful several days, but I'm glad I did it, and I'm glad the doctors and techs were thorough in their assessment.

Anyway, that's been a lot of my world for the last couple of weeks.  I have more to write about that's unrelated, but for now I'm going to wrap up.

still here!

I am still here, and I'm still reading.  I promise to try better with a goal of getting back to blogging for real at least a bit more often next week!  In the meantime, clinging desperately to the first lingering appearance of springish weather, waiting for more, and super excited for baseball games to be re-introduced into my social calendar.  :-)

Still dating BF, tomorrow marks three months.  Going well, but it hasn't been without growing pains.  There are advantages to being more aware of your past mistakes and missteps, but sometimes too much knowledge can be a pain, too!  We did just book a weekend trip to the Shenandoah Valley for a couple of days the first weekend in May.  Looking forward to that little escape.  :-)

Practical Shoes are for the Birds

So in recent weeks I bought three pairs of shoes.  Two pairs of wedges (black and blue) and a cute pair of tan/light brown kitten heels.  Two of three were predominantly purchased for work, but they're all amenable to out of work situations.  They were super cute, so I was wearing them a lot.

Ouch.  I ended up with very pissed off feet from all of the new shoe excitement, and I've had to take it easy on cute shoes in the last couple of weeks.  Today, for instance, I'm wearing a nice work dress and BLACK FLATS.  Boring!  It's a bummer to not be able to wear the cute shoes, new or old, but I *think* the back of my foot is finally improving, slowly, so I'm going to try to keep it going.  Note to self for future:  ALWAYS put a heel pad or some kind of protector at the back of these shoes, and DO NOT wear excessively!

It's supposed to be 70 today!  Right now it's only 59, but come on, still not bad!  Another nice day part of the day tomorrow and then the crap weather returns in the form of rain and maybe flurries.  :-o  Thursday is supposed to just be really cold and lousy.  AND they're saying there is a chance of winter weather sunday into Monday.  I cannot deal with any more of this!  It's MARCH, weather gods.  Cut us some slack already.

Bluefish is coming over tonight and we're going to Old Town for dinner, specific location yet to be determined.  He's got a couple of ideas that he wants to try, and I'm going to let him choose since they both sound workable to me.  I wanted to do something that would allow us to enjoy the nice weather, so we'll be able to wander before/after dinner in Old Town since it's a scenic area and the waterfront is so pretty.  :-)

There isn't a ton more going on right now.  Just trudging through the work week.  Had my monthly acupuncture appt. last night, which was much needed.  Tomorrow night I'm going to dinner in DC with my ex-H and a friend of his that I've not seen in a couple of years.  Thursday night I may just do the gym and redo my nails, especially since I just bought two new colors.  I'd done shellac manicures two consecutive times in the last couple of months, which was super nice to not have to worry about anything chipping. However, it takes away from my freedom to change colors often, so I'm taking a shellac break!

Friday night I'm doing a happy hour with several former co-workers/friends, and bringing my friend, A, along with me.  It should be a fun evening and I'm looking forward to catching up and having a reasonably relaxed night out.

Random things worthy of mention right now:

** Birchbox:  I subscribe to this monthly box of fun for the low price of $10 each month, and it's SO fun getting a little collection of beauty and makeup items each month.  My most recent box is on its way, and I love wondering what I'll get this time.  In the past some of my favorites have been a couple of different perfume samples, some different lipglosses, lotions, etc.  They also periodically have limited edition boxes you can buy separately, which I did today.  Should get that in a week or so, so that will be more fun!

** Veronica Mars movie:  It's finally opening Friday!  Can't wait to see it and I'm hoping to either see it with my friend, A or to just go see it solo.  Super excited as I adored that show and am looking forward to having it back in movie form!  Go Logan! ;-)

** Divergent:  Yeah, it's a YA book turned movie.  No, I didn't read the book series.  But I will admit I kind of want to see the movie, and the soundtrack is awesome.  Bought it this morning, listening to it on repeat now, skipping around to my newly discovered favorites.  So far favorite song is "Run Boy Run" by Woodkid.  It will be amazing to listen to while driving at too high of volumes.  ;-)

** Girls, the TV show.  Loving this season, though I haven't watched Sunday's episode yet.  Definitely need a night/weekend to catch up on DVR!  I don't care what anyone says about Lena Dunham, I love her and think she's very talented.

That's all I've got for now.  :-)

It's My Prerogative (to eat Wendy's)

So I've had a solo week.  For some reason, through a combination of snow days, lingering bad weather, a cold on BF's side of things, and a scheduled session with trainer, I went from seeing BF many times last week to not seeing him at all since Sunday.We have plans Saturday evening, and that will be our first get together this week.

Yesterday I was bemoaning this fact to him, and said it was probably for the better since he had the cold, anyway.  [Yes, he is a man, and so his cold is way more significant than it would be for a woman.  Yeah, I said it!]  So I let it go, and along with it the notion of trying to see him Thursday night, and resigned myself to seeing him Saturday.  I decided that I would spend my Thursday night doing a little shopping, running a couple errands. I made a list of my desired stops today while at work, and I decided that I'm having a serious craving for Wendy's, so this will be my dinner.

So at 3:30pm, Bluefish messages me and asks, "Do you want to get dinner or something tonight?"  I read it and my first reaction was frustration.  NOW you ask?  After I spent all week missing you?  I didn't reply to it right away, and when I did, I replied honestly.  "I don't really feel like making the drive to the midway point tonight actually."

He responded that he was actually still at work (thus would have come to me), but said he would go ahead and head home.  I explained that in the absence of plans with him tonight, I'd made some Bluemoon solo plans, and I was going to proceed with those.

"Alright.  I tried!"

Sure, he tried.  At the last minute, and I told him as much.  :-)

I thought about giving in when he asked. It was what I'd wanted all week!  But all week long when we'd talked about missing each other, no plan to fix this was suggested.  He kept referencing his cold, and how we'd make up for it on Saturday.  I felt disappointment each time he said these things, but accepted them and we agreed to plan better from now on.

So I could have easily given in when he suggested this at 3:30.  Did I want to see him?  Sure.  But on this timetable?  When I'd made plans in lieu of seeing him?  No, they were not important plans.  But I'd been looking forward to them throughout the day.  And I'd realized I wasn't feeling that social today, anyway. And above all that, I got up late and went to work with dirty hair (remedied only by dry shampoo, which is about as effective as a 25% real shampoo!).  So even though I've gotten compliments on my hair today (?!?), I know it's dirty, and thusly I do not feel super alluring. And I'm tired.  And all I really want out of the rest of this Thursday is Wendy's, to buy cat food, maybe make a couple of quick shopping stops, go home, make chicken enchiladas that will serve as lunch tomorrow and saturday, watch some DVR, and maybe go to bed at a reasonable hour.  This is what I want for my Thursday.

I adore my boyfriend.  I want to see him.  I'm excited to see him Saturday and I'm still bummed that this week ended up the way it did. But in the end, my plans with myself, no matter how trifling or silly they are, mattered more to me today.  My weekend is packed, and I know that I won't feel relaxed if I can't get these errands done, if I don't have a planned night to myself when I was expecting it.

I want to give BF the best version of me.  I know it's not realistic all of the time, but I know what I need in order to be a happy Bluemoon, and tonight, that's what I'm sticking to.

Hopefully it doesn't make him feel miffed or anything weird.  Hopefully he understands that sometimes, a little notice is nice.  And hopefully he will just be all the happier when he does see me on Saturday.  :-)